DVD Review: "Feast II: Sloppy Seconds"

Feast, as previously noted, was the last and best film made by Ben Affleck's and Matt Damon's "Project Greenlight" movie contest. Funny, horrific, fast-paced and outrageous, Feast is a one-set movie loaded with lots of colorful (and generically-named) characters, hilarious plot-twists and disgusting special effects. And it is unlike any horror movie I'd ever seen before. Writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan (Saw IV & V) have re-teamed with director John Gulager for the sequel.

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds picks up pretty much where the first one ended. Biker Queen (Diane Goldner) arrives outside desert bar where the original took place, to find her sister's (also played by Goldner in the original) hand in a dog's mouth and the bloodied Bartender (Clu Gulager, also returning) hiding under a car. Seeking revenge for her sister's death, she shanghais the old coot and heads off with her gang of tattooed biker chicks to the small town where she thinks the man who killed her sister lives. Unfortunately, the small town has also been overrun by the ravenous monsters, leaving few alive. Among them is used-car dealer, Slasher (Carl Anthony Payne II); his cheating wife, Secrets (Hannah Putnam); her lover and two little wrestlers, Thunder (Martin Klebba - Pirates of the Caribbean) and Lightning (Juan Longoria Garcia). Also returning from the original is Jenny Wade as Honey Pie, who had left everyone for dead in I.

Way over-the-top, Feast II is a gorehound's dream, and about a thousand times more disgusting than the original, which is saying alot. It is also just as funny and original, though it borrows liberally from films like Dawn of the Dead and Tremors. This is NOT a film for those with weak stomachs, young children, sensitive ears or any sense of decorum. Fortunately, I am troubled by none of those things and could enjoy the movie's intentional outrageousness all the more. Quirkier that the original, Gulager the younger plays more visual games here, experimenting with lenses, lighting, film stock, editing and shooting styles. The result is a film that is almost as visually amusing as it is joke-laden. Gulager even opts to break a horror movie taboo I've only seen once before (no spoilers here) and even then, it was only because it was essential to the plot. Here, it's a deliberately depraved and selfish act of cowardice on the part of one particularly unpleasant character (who gets his jut desserts, don't worry). There are gallons of fake blood and fake vomit and even more gallons of gooey, monstrous bodily fluids with all sorts of nasty side-effects; a hilarious moment of monster/cat sex (I swear to God) and a warehouse's worth of body parts. Along with the almost non-stop gratuitous violence, there is foul language; nudity and lots of fart jokes, sex jokes and jokes at the expense of Little People, but only those who don't get it will be truly offended. This is the kind of movie for which one girds one's loins, grits one's teeth and hangs on for one hell of a ride. Certainly not every one's cup of tea, but I lapped it up like a cat with a bowl of fresh cream! Disgusting, outlandish, bizarre and way beyond over-the-top, Feast II is a 'park your brain and take the ride' movie for true horror fans only. *** (Three Stars)

By the way - the film ends as ambiguously as the first one (we still have no idea what these monsters are or where they came from, though we know more than we might like to know about their anatomical functions) and IMDb confirms that there will be a Feast III:The Happy Finish.

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