A Very Sad 'Reality' TV Celebrity Meltdown

Soft Porn... er... "Reality'" star Tila Tequila

Regular readers know how I feel about most so-called "reality TV." Manipulated by writers and producers and edited to provide the most salacious content possible, it is about as far from reality as Grimm's Fairy Tales.

The increasingly stupid populace at large just eats this crap up, and since it's much cheaper to produce than scripted shows, the networks keep pumping it out, ad nauseum. I know what I know about reality shows mostly from reading entertainment blogs and watch "The Soup" on E!. The phenomenon only serves to produce temporary celebrities who will be forgotten as soon as they and their publicists have run out of ways to exploit them.

Tila "Tequila" Nguyen is a Eurasian Penthouse and Maxim model who became semi-famous because of her MTV 'reality' dating show "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." A self-proclaimed bisexual, Tila has gone on to be a singer in two bands; the owner of now defunct dating website and the 'fiancee' of the late Johnson & Johnson heiress, Casey Johnson, who passed away from diabetic ketoacidocis in 2009. In an infamous 2010 incident, Tila was pelted with rocks, bottles and feces while appearing as an opener at an Insane Clown Posse concert.In March of this year, she went into rehab after attempting suicide by overdosing on pills.

Since then, she's kept a pretty low profile - until recently. Apparently, artificial fame has proven too much for the poor thing and she has taken to posting videos on YouTube in which she claims the Illuminati are conspiring to kill her for exposing their secrets. Yes, you read that correctly. The Illuminati. You know, the super secret society (a purported left-over of the Knights Templar) who supposedly run the world by manipulating governments, corporations, banks and the Free Masons.

Man, I love a good conspiracy theory. I love it even more when it is espoused by an obviously insane semi-celebrity desperate to remain relevant and in the news. The video below is almost as funny as the ones posted by the folks who believe the world is being run by reptilian aliens. Except none of these folks are really funny. Just sad. So very, very sad. You can skip around the clip without really missing anything - none of it makes any sense at all.

And that's just one of two videos she's posted on the subject. It's a shame, because she's actually adorable and could have a real career as a performer if she got her act together. I just want to bring her home and give a good home-cooked meal, administer some much-needed thorazine and rock her to sleep. Or slap the silly beotch about 30 or 40 times until she comes to her senses. 

Wow - that may well be what I need to snap me out of my recent funk.

Call me, Tila. I can help you. All you need is a dose of real reality.

More, anon.

Prospero

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