Thursday, November 1, 2012

Turkey Month Begins

A Turkey from Turkey
While Hurricane Sandy put an all-too-soon end to Shocktober here at Caliban's Revenge, Uncle P soldiers on. 

The year's penultimate month is known as "Turkey Month" at the Revenge, where every Thursday I post about a bad, bad movie. And since the month starts out on a Thursday this year, I thought I'd talk about a Turkey from Turkey. 

1982's Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) is often called "The Turkish Star Wars," and while the producers may have blatantly stolen footage from George Lucas' 1978 ground-breaker, the plots couldn't be more disparate.

Two men crash land on a desert planet they believe is inhabited only by women, only to find out it is Earth 1000 years in future, under the control of an evil wizard. There are zombies; skeleton warriors; an evil queen; a giant monster and "golden ninjas." At the end, we are 'treated' to a speech about the human brain being "the strongest weapon in the universe." Stealing its soundtrack from Raiders of the Lost Ark; Moonraker; Ben-Hur; Flash Gordon and The Black Hole (among others), 'director' Cetin Inanc has made what many consider to be the worst Turkish film of all time  - and that's saying something, especially if you've ever seen other Turkish films. Slack copyright laws and budgets that put many U.S, independent films to shame, helped to make Dunyayi Kutaran Adam a very sad reality. And the mismatched aspect ratios (is that the 'Death Egg?') certainly don't help.

Still, a reviewer from Istanbul had this to say on IMDb:

"One can not put this movie into any categorie (sic) because it has created a new categorie (sic) in film world. It might be classified as cult-scifi (sic) but in a very different way. Some people might think that it is a comedy but it is absolutely a very very serious movie which is made under very difficult circumstances. Very very low finance has forced the producers to use incredible items, and creativity is at the extreme measures. If you are interested in extra-ordinary movies, don't miss it."

Really? Truth be told, after sifting through several clips from this film, I'd personally rather spend another three days without power than sit through the whole thing (available here, if you're brave enough).  Here's a trailer (or at least, a hodgepodge of scenes):



My head actually hurts just from watching that. I hope you got through it without puking or having a seizure of some kind. I can only imagine that the Turks must be starved for real entertainment and I can only thank the circumstances of my birth that I am not one of them.

In case you're wondering, power was finally restored here at about 2:00 PM, though many in my area are still without. My thoughts are with them and all those still suffering the effects of Hurricane Sandy. If you are able to do so, please donate to the American Red Cross' relief efforts.

More, anon.
Prospero
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It Could Have Been Worse

The Jet Star Coaster, Seaside Heights, NJ
Uncle P here. The power is still out at my house and the Day-Job just opened today, so I'm briefly posting between calls.

I lost part of a fence gate at my house and all the food in my fridge and freezers, but that's about it. My house is very cold and I haven't had a proper shower since Saturday, washing my hair and stinky bits in cold water. If the power isn't back by the time I get home today, we're going to a hotel, if only to get a decent night's sleep someplace warm and have a hot shower. There are people near where I live in much more dire circumstances than I: homes smashed by trees; homes flooded and lives lost, so I can't really complain, too much. 

The photo above is of one of the amusement piers at Seaside Heights (yes, "The Jersey Shore" place), which is the shore resort of my youth. Seeing the Jet Star Coaster like that is simply surreal. It reminds me of the Statue of Liberty at the end of the original Planet of the Apes, but in real life. If you live in the region affected by hurricane Sandy, my heart is with you and I hope you are safe and well.



More, anon (or as soon as possible).
Prosperp
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