The Worst Movie Actress, Ever?

I have hardly ever seen a movie starring Jennifer Aniston that was actually any good. She was OK, I guess, on "Friends," though to be honest, I would much rather have hung out with Phoebe and Monica (Courtney Cox) than Rachel. Monica was a world class chef (if a little OCD) and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) was a totally hilarious flake. Rachel, on the other hand, was just a whiny, self-absorbed bitch.

Its not that she's unattractive. In the picture to your left, she's actually kind of pretty. But she really has very little range. I honestly cannot imagine her playing Ophelia or Juliet (though I'm sure she probably attempted those roles in acting class - if she ever actually took one). Nor can I see her as one of Chekhov's Three Sisters or Nora in A Doll's House. Or any other 'serious' role.

Her movie career started with a very, very bad movie (1993's Leprechaun) and hasn't gotten much better since.

There was a string of forgettable TV roles and then along came NBC's "Friends" in 1994. Notable for its great writing and ensemble acting, "Friends" became a cornerstone of NBC's Must See TV Thursdays. Meanwhile, Aniston became most famous for a hairstyle which came to be known as "The Rachel." A hairstyle. Not her acting. A hairstyle.

For her next movie, she lucked out in a supporting role in Edward Burns' She's the One, though she wasn't particularly memorable in it. And the film was hardly as good as Burns' debut, The Brothers McMullin, though she somehow managed to earn top billing.

Then came Picture Perfect; The Object of My Affection (co-starring hottie Paul Rudd); a voice role in Brad Bird's underrated The Iron Giant; Bruce Almighty; Along Came Polly; a supporting role in Office Space and her first serious role in The Good Girl, an overrated domestic drama that had critics raving, but left audiences cold. Then there was the simply godawful thriller Derailed; another terrible rom-com called Rumor Has It; another attempt at drama with the flop Friends With Money which was followed by The Breakup; Management; Marley and Me and her current cinematic turd Bounty Hunter, co-starring Gerard Butler, the worst thing to happen to Romantic Comedies since Jennifer Aniston:

Finally (via), comes the trailer for her next movie The Switch, in which she plays a single woman who decides to impregnate herself with donor sperm, only to have her best friend (Jason Bateman - Oh, Jason... really?) switch his own donation for the one she chose. Originally titled The Baster (as in 'Turkey Baster' - Get it? **sigh**), The Switch is everything that's wrong with romantic comedies, today. The witty banter of Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn; Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell; Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert; hell, even Woody Allen and Diane Keaton, has been replaced with formulaic nonsense even a 10 year-old could tell you is rubbish. The Switch makes Dracula, Dead and Loving It look highbrow in comparison. See for yourselves:

Ugh! I need a shower after watching that. Drivel incarnate. And what the hell are Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum and Juliette Lewis doing in this mess?

So, is Aniston actually the worst actress working in Hollywood today? Probably not. She's certainly no worse than others of her generation. Is she the most over-paid? Most certainly. Does she make make poor decisions when choosing the movies in which she'll appear? Most definitely. I imagine that in another ten years, Ms. Aniston will be a footnote in film history, known best for being the first Mrs. Brad Pitt, than her prowess as a thespian. Maybe, just maybe, she'll fool us all and she'll one day appear as the quintessential Lady Macbeth. Ah... who am I kidding?

More, anon.
Prospero

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