10. TEETH
Best Movies of 2008
10. TEETH
The Present I Didn't Get
The Least Gay Thing You'll See This Week?
Worst Movies of 2008
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10. 10,000 BC
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Oh, how I loves me some Brendan Fraser (especially mostly-naked, as in another bad movie, George of the Jungle). And I really loved Stephen Sommers' first Mummy film. It was fun and exciting and had some terrific CGI (not to mention 'yummy mummy' Arnold Vosloo). The Mummy Returns was okay, but not nearly as good. And eight years is a long time between sequels, folks. Long enough for studio execs to realize that the moment has passed. But it was not to be. This lame-ass picture, set in pre-war China, is just an excuse to extend a franchise beyond its prime. The talents of Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are completely wasted here and Rachel Wiesz is the only smart one (her role is played by Maria Bello, another actress who should have known better).7. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Director Peter Berg also made the terrible Very Bad Things, so it should be no surprise that his foray into the Superhero genre would be equally as awful. Hollywood's go-to good guy, Will Smith, plays the titular character, an alcoholic schmuck who causes more damage than he does good. He has no memory of how he came about his powers of what he's been doing for the last forty years, but that doesn't stop PR guy Jason Bateman from trying to rehabilitate Hancock's image. Of course, Bateman has his own problems with his gorgeous wife, Charlize Theron, who harbors more than a secret or two of her own. Boring and confusing, Hancock is just one more notch in Smith's 'mistake' column (along with Wild, Wild West and Seven Pounds).3. The Love Guru
2. 27 Dresses
1. The Happening
Merry Christmas
More of this, anon.
Prospero
The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week
More of this, anon.
Prospero
Cats
Happy Holidays!

I may pop in once or twice to drop a note or two, but I wouldn't count on it!
Emjoy your holidays!
More of this, eventually.
Prospero
The Year's Best Horror Movies
Don't Tell Me Who to Love
More of this, anon.
Prospero
Jim Carrey, Homophobe?
My Head May Explode
God bless us, every one!
More of this, anon.
Prospero
Light Up the Night for Equality
This 'N' That
The Best Virals
My Favorite "MST3K" Episodes
(Season 4, Episode #21):
(Season 3, Episode #2):
(Pre-Feature Short, Episode Unknown):
Why "Milk" Matters
More Love for "Were the World Mine"
So Much Hate, So Little Time

I refuse to post the rest of the poem here, simply because it makes me sick to my stomach. Suffice it to say, I know who'll be standing at the gates of Hell saying "What the f...?" come Judgment Day. (Hint: Fred Phelps and Family).
This is the kind of hateful ignorance that leads religious extremists to fly planes into skyscrapers, folks. Make no mistake, the Devil has an especially hot pitchfork poised to poke their particularly ignorant asses.
Now, on the opposite end of the hate spectrum, comes this delightfully funny little short film, Love is Love. Sadly, the people who need to see it either won't get it, or won't even watch it.
Bad Taste in Movies
Day Without Gays

The Greatest Action Hero Ever!
(Warning: Not for Children and Not Safe for Most Workplaces)
The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week
More of this, anon.
Prospero
DVD Review: "The X-Files: I Want to Believe"

DVD Reviews: "Wall-E" and "Wanted"

700 years ago, humans abandoned the trash-covered Earth for what was supposed to be a five year space cruise while robots cleaned up the mess the humans left behind. 700 years later, one little robot is left, still compacting and piling blocks of trash. Wall-E has developed a bit of a soul over the years and like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, has a collection of interesting human memorabilia (among them a spork, a Rubik's cube and a VHS copy of Hello Dolly! which he plays over and over). One day, a survey droid named EVE is sent to look for evidence of photosynthesis. For Wall-E, it's love at first byte (sorry, I couldn't help the pun). Using minimal dialog and hilarious visuals, first-time director John Lassiter (who has previously done voice work in many Pixar hits) imbues his anthropomorphic robot characters with far more soul than the fat, nearly-boneless humans who have evolved on the giant spaceship Axiom (their hover-chairs and service bots have long since turned them into nearly useless, complacent and blubbery drones, themselves). The few voices are provided by Jeff Garlin, Kathy Najimy, John Ratzenburger (Pixar's ever-present lucky charm) and Sigourney Weaver as the voice of Axiom's computer. Delightful, funny and even romantic, Wall-E is a film for more than just "family" audiences. **** (Four Stars)
Next I watched the comic-book-inspired Wanted, starring James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman and Terence Stamp in a story about a wimpy and neurotic accountant named Wesley Gibson (McAvoy) who is unable to find a single entry about himself on Google, but is soon recruited by a secret society of assassins known only as "The Fraternity." Fox (Jolie) tells Wesley that his father was the greatest assassin who ever lived and that he had been killed that very morning. Wesley, believing his father abandoned him as a baby, is hesitant until he starts getting shot at.
After a training period in which Wesley learns to use the hidden talents he'd always mistaken for anxiety attacks, he and Fox start taking on assignments, killing people whose names are encoded in the weavings of a mystical loom in The Fraternity's headquarters. Outrageous stunts, ridiculous action sequences and plenty of bullets, blood and mayhem ensue as Wesley gets closer and closer to the truth about both his father and The Fraternity. A park-your-brain-at-the-door movie on the order of Crank, Wanted is terrific and bizarre popcorn movie of the highest order. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov (Daywatch; Nightwatch and the upcoming Twilight Watch), Wanted isn't likely to win any awards other than for special effects, but it's a very fun way to waste an hour and half or so. **/2 (Two and a Half Stars).
More of this, anon.
Prospero
Christmas Shopping

My Favorite Superhero Movies
Another Night Off
Prospero