Cry Me a River: Part I

A departure, if you'll allow me.

You already know that Uncle P loves the movie geek's trinity: Horror/Sci-Fi?Fantasy. But know I love all kinds of other movies, too. Comedy, Historical Drama, Suspense/Police Procedural, the very occasional Western, Action-Adventure - all valid genres each with many movies I really, really love.

Now, I have a confession to make. There is a genre I haven't mentioned yet, but you all know exists: The Tearjerker. And you all know there is at least one that gets you every time. Well, I have more than one. Hell, I cried at last night's episode of "Glee" -- of course I have more than one. But it's late, so I'm going to split this list into two posts. And a bit of a warnning - there some MASSIVE spoilers in this post, so if you haven't seen the movie in question, I suggest you skip the entry until you have. So without further ado, here are the bottom half of Prospero's Top Ten Tearjerker's of All Time:

10.  Imitation of Life (1934)

Most people seem more familiar withe 1959 remake starring Lana Turner, but Claudette Colbert has always held a special place in my cinematic heart and her version of the Fanny Farmer novel about an entrepreneurial single mother, her faithful maid/cook and  the maid/cook's light-skinned daughter who runs away, passing herself off as white. When her mother dies (of a broken heart), the daughter realizes too late the error of her ways. The scene where she's clutching the casket in the horse-drawn hearse, crying "Mother! Please forgive me, Mother!" just kills me.

9.Old Yeller (1957)

The bastards at Disney delivered this delightful tale about a brave, faithful dog that contracts rabies and must be shot. Oh, yes. Great family fun, this one.And since everyone would hate me if I put the really sad clip up, here's The Kids in the Hall version:

8.Truly Madly Deeply (1990)

The late Anthony Minghella directed this fantasy about a love that transcends death, starring Alan Rickman and Juliet Stevenson:.

7. The Color Purple (1985)

Steven Spielberg's gorgeous film of Alice Walker's novel may have lost every Oscar for which it was nominated, but it never fails to make cry more than once, every time I see it. Every single performance is a gem here and Spielberg somehow translates Walker's novel into a rich visual and cultural examination of what it means to have self-worth. The scene where Celie (Whoopi Goldberg) is reunited with her sister and her children has my eyes gushing just thinking about it:

6. E.T.: The Extraterrestrial (1982)

Spielberg makes his second of three appearances on this list with his unassuming little movie about a boy who strikes up an unlikely friendship with a decidedly ugly little alien. Who didn't cry when they thought E.T. was dead?

So, tomorrow will see my Top 5 picks. And you shouldn't be embarrassed to cry at a good weepie. I never am...

More, anon.

Prospero 

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Roulez les tetes coupees!

Well, there are about 40 minutes left of Mardi Gras here in the east... Not that I'm such a huge fan of Mardi Gras... I adore New Orleans, though admit to not having been in many years. But I much prefer Carnival in Venice, Brazil and Argentina. The image on your right is now my desktop wallpaper, by the way - how gay is that? Longtime readers know Uncle P's original profile photo* featured me in green and gold 16th Century Venetian garb, complete with my personal Venetian mask, itself a gift, brought home from Italy by my sweet K.

Anyway, given the gloom and doom and indignant ranting of late, I wanted to talk about silly stuff tonight. And it doesn't get much sillier than Mardis Gras, does it? Beads, booze, boobs and public nudity - sounds like the stuff of dreams, doesn't it? Well, apparently not! I went looking and sure enough found plenty of Mardi Gras themed horror movies you may have missed (at least I hope you have)...

Mardis Gras Massacre (1978):

From what I can tell from IMDb, Mardis Gras Massacre is a no-budget knock-off of schlockmeister General H.G. Lewis' Blood Feast, using Aztec mummies in place of Egyptian ones, set amidst the infamous insanity of the Big Easy during Mardi Gras... I've never seen this movie, nor do I want to...

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995):

The action moves from Chicago to N'awlins in this sequel to Clive Barker's Candyman, itself an adaptation of his Urban Legend novella "The Forbidden." Why the change of venue? All the better to exploit the voodoo themes suggested in the original, I suppose. Or, maybe just to take advantage of all those fabulous Mardi Gras costumes... 

Dracula 2000 (2000):

Wes Craven produced this update of the Dracula meme, which incorporated then current technology with traditional Dracula lore as it has been bastardized over the years. Most interestingly, Dracula 2000 featured a cast of soon-to-bes including Nathan Fillion ("Firefly;" "Castle"), Omar Epps ("House"), Jeri Ryan ("Star Trek: Voyager") and a very sexy, pre-Spartan Gerard Butler in the title role. The screenplay creates an insane (if not uninteresting) connection between Stoker's Carpathian and a particularly reviled Biblical villain, which I suppose should earn points for originality, but in the end, Dracula 2000 is pretty far down on my list ranking movies with "Dracula" in their titles, but pretty high up in the Butler hotness scale.

Hoodoo for Voodoo (2006):

Once again, I have never seen Hoodoo for Voodoo, nor do I ever intend to do so. From what sense I could make of any number of plot summaries I found for this film, it's about a group of college kids trying to avoid a killer at a "Voodoo Tourist Attraction" in New Orleans. What the...?

Autopsy (2009):

I think I was thinking of a different movie when Autopsy showed up in a "Mardi-Gras + Horror Movies" search. But judging from that trailer, it seems to have nothing at all to do with Mardi Gras other than it is set in New Orleans. It also appears to be a total piece of crap.

I hope you had too much to eat and drink today. I hope that all my friends and readers who observe Lent are successful in their sacrifices... I hope some bit of nonsense or other made you smile today. I hope you are looking forward to spring as much as I am. And I hope no bad movies cross your path, unless you want them to.

More, anon.

Prospero

*I really need a new one of those, too...

You have read this article Bad / Holiday Movies / Horror / Movies / Nonsense / Trailers with the title . You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2011/03/roulez-les-tetes-coupees.html. Thanks!