The Gayest Videos You'll See This WeeK

Mr. Gay World 2013, Chris Olwage of New Zealand

Generally, I hate beauty pageants. That's right - I despise something a lot of gay men adore. Miss America; Miss USA; Miss World; Miss Universe... all of them are rubbish, as far as I'm concerned. They not only bore me to death, but promote sexist stereotypes and reduce their contestants to far less than the sum of their parts. 

I particularly hate children's pageants. You know that pedophiles are regularly masturbating to episodes of 'Toddlers in Tiaras," right? Ugh! The sexualization of children in such events sickens me to no end. Images of the late Jon Benet Ramsey literally turn my stomach. And don't even get me started on Honey Boo-Boo and 'Dance Moms.' I'll cut a bitch! Beauty pageants exemplify everything that's wrong with modern societal values. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for physical beauty. But there's got to be more. As the saying goes, "Beauty is only skin deep." And really... if you're pretty, we better be able to have an intelligent conversation afterwards.

This past weekend saw the 'Mr. Gay World Pageant,' in which gay men from around the globe competed for the 'coveted' title. Needless to say, there wasn't a Bear among the contestants. Every one of them was young, trim and fit. It may has well have been the 'Mr. Ambercrombie and Fitch World Pageant.' 

This year's winner, a Kiwi by the name of Chris Olwage (who's 'five-head' is even worse than Josh Duhamel's) won. His talent? Dancing en pointe, something exceedingly rare among male dancers. That's not to say I have anything against men dancing en pointe. Far from it (though I can't help but compare my own feet - ruined by years of dancing in musical theatre - to the feet of ballerinas I met while working for the NYC Ballet... ick!). And while Olwage has an amazing body, give me a fuzzy, beefy Bear over a skinny dancer any day. Below (via) is Olwage's talent entry in the contest:

And speaking of fuzzy, beefy Bears, Mumford and Sons (who had a very LGBT friendly hit not too long ago) are back with a new video for their latest single, "Hopeless Wanderer," which features former SNL hotties Jason Sudekis and Will Forte along with Jason Bateman and Ed Helms. Sudeikis and Forte (wearing a rather unflattering yak hair beard) appear to swap some spit (something they've done many times in skits on SNL), though the catchy new song has only the vaguest connections to the LGBT community. Watch it below (also via):

Personally, I'm waiting for Ricky Martin, Neil Patrick Harris and Cheyenne Jackson to collaborate on the ultimate gay song/video, written by Elton John and Matt Zarley. If you see it before I do, let me know ASAP.

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest and Weirdest Things You'll See This Week

Okay... I'll admit to being a bit of an Internet junkie. Having spent most of my day sleeping thanks to a nasty bug I must have picked up sometime in the last few days, I didn't get to do my usual web perusal until this evening, where I discovered both of the videos I am about to share with you tonight.

Where to start? I suppose with TV's longest-running (and dare I say, most consistently funny) show, "The Simpsons." Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are symbols of the American zeitgeist, whether we would like to admit it or not. "Life in hell" cartoonist Matt Groening has captured something so purely American in the tales of this highly dysfunctional family, that we can all find something with which we can identify. Yes, Homer is almost unbelievably stupid (I say "almost" because I speak to the unbelievably stupid almost everyday as part of the day job); Bart may be ridiculously naughty and Lisa ridiculously self-righteous and Marge may very well be the uber-hausfrau, but the show's writers are still able to tap into our collective psyches and address issues with which most of us can relate. So, do we really need this? (SFW - via):

Ew! I'm no prude and have no problem with folks who enjoy a little porn now and then, but really? Of course, hand-drawn comics porn parodies have been around since before the days of Popeye, but I really think a live-action porn version of "The Simpsons" is probably crossing a line we shouldn't be crossing.

So, let's balance that out with the latest video from Ricky Martin -- his first since coming out -- shall we? While the song may not be as catchy as "La Vida Loco" or "She Bang," it's message is far more pertinent to life in the 21st Century. Please enjoy (via) "The Best Thing About Me Is You" (something I can say about most of the people in my own life):

It's snowing here in Southeastern PA again, as I battle a very nasty virus of some kind (which may well explain my exceptionally rambling post from last night) and I am hoping for a snow day tomorrow so I wont have to use another sick day. There is already a good 4 inches of snow piled up on top of what we've already gotten in the past few days (so much for local meteorologists forecasts of 10 to 14 inches for the entire season). I hope you are warm, dry and snow-free. If you live in Australia, I hope it's not in a the region devastated by flooding. I hope no bird or fish kills have have affected your region and that wildfires, mudslides, tornadoes and other natural disasters have affected you or your loved ones.I hope none of you have the bug I have (or any other bugs, for that matter) and that your New Year is starting out the way hoped it might.

More, anon.

Prospero

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Ricky Martin (Finally) Comes Out

Okay, I'll admit it. I was torn here. I didn't know what to run with tonight. It was between my promised review of "Ugly Americans" or Ricky Martin's Big Announcement. After careful consideration, the review remains, TBA...

But never let it be said that Uncle P is above some gratuitous images accompanied by legitimate social comment.

Of course, everyone in the world has run this by now, but Latin hottie and former member of Menudo, Ricky Martin, has officially come out. Entertainment Weekly broke the story (they seem to be the go-to when celebs come out) here. As they say, "double-duh." There still might have been a few delusional 30-something fangirls who had dreams of one day becoming Mrs. Ricky Martin, but the rest of us knew a long, long time ago. Straight boys (even hot Latin ones) do not move their hips like that.

Now, a real hero of mine, James Randi, recently came out as well -- at age 81! Randi, if you aren't familiar, is Houdini's heir-apparent. A former magician (The Amazing Randi), Randi has spent the latter years of his life as a psychic debunker. The James Randi Educational Foundation has a standing offer of $1M to anyone who can reproduce and/or prove the existence of psychic phenomena under true scientific test conditions. I believe several have come forward to try, but none have collected. I have known about and loved James Randi for exposing frauds and espousing truth for many years. I love him even more now that he has found the courage to finally tell the truth about himself. You can read about it from the man himself, here.

Here's the thing: Even though everyone knew (or at least suspected) about Ricky, making it official not only validates Martin's personal life, but it encourages both celebrities and average folks to do the same. Our lives matter. The people we love and who love us matter. Speak up and let them know we aren't going away. You know by now how I feel about coming out, being heard and making our voices count.

ACTUP, the AIDS activist organization, had a slogan: SILENCE = DEATH. I think we need a new one to replace it. I'm thinking: TRUTH = FREEDOM. What do you think?

"Enough with politics and LGBT issues, Uncle P! Geez you gotta a high horse!" I know - that's why its so hard to get down off of it, sometimes. I'm getting to be so political in my old age, it's starting to scare me. But I will get off my very high horse and move on to something lighter. Like some hot Latin gay booty:

Damn, that boy was pretty! And Ew; I just made myself feel like this.


More, anon.
Prospero

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