The Bitchiest Nonsense You'll See This Week or: When Local Goes National

Carol Erickson and Her Dogs

While I've lived here and there from time to time, I've spent the majority of my life as a suburbanite in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. My local news has always been one of the major three Philadelphia affiliates, though for longest time I've been partial to our local NBC news. Because it is two hours of repetition between 4 and 6 PM, I know I can drop in at almost any time for half an hour and see everything I need to. It's news for the Information Age. 

When I was a kid, the local ABC affiliate was the news to watch. The stalwart channel loves it's stars and ancient anchor Jim Gardner (whose been at it since the 70's) is still chugging away at a dusty old station which somehow seems to have lost touch with the 21st Century. Most of the reporters on Action News have been there for at least 25 years and only seem to be replaced when they retire or die. The "Murder She Wrote" and "Matlock" crowd watch this broadcast.

Then there's the local CBS station. A decent station with

Nicole Brewer

a combination of both older, more experienced staffers and younger up-and-comings. It's my second choice. 

Before I go on, I have to tell you that sometime in the late 90's, the Philadelphia NBC and CBS channels switched affiliations. I don't know if that's ever happened in any other market, but it happened here and it resulted in some confusion for the first few months. What didn't change at the time, were the news teams. Now, for those of you who weren't alive, there was an up and coming newswoman in the 70's named Jessica Savitch. Savitch worked for the (then) local NBC affiliate in the 70's and went on to be the NBC Network weekend anchor. Many thought she was on track to become a major star; possibly the first Female Network anchor, even. Sadly, Savitch died after the car she was riding in crashed into the Delaware Canal near New Hope, PA in 1983. The story went national. It was even the basis for the film Up Close and Personal, with Michelle Pfieffer and Robert Redford.

Flash-forward to 2008. The station is now a CBS affiliate. Anchor Larry Mendte is accused of hacking into former co-anchor Alycia Lane's email account 537 times! The resulting scandal costs Mendte his job. He pleaded guilty to felony hacking charges and admitted to having an "improper relationship" with Lane. The story went national.

This time, it's a mere 5 years between viral stories for this beleaguered news team. Veteran meteorologist Carol Erickson (who's been with this station since the 80's) and morning anchor (and former pageant queen) Nicole Brewer are the subject of speculation that they despise one another and have been openly displaying their venomous relationship on air (via):

Okay - the tragic death of an up-and-comer? Yes, that's ceratinly worthy of national attention. A sex scandal involving email hacking? A little tabloid-y, but yes. Worth noting for the tech element, I guess. A verbal bitch slapping contest between an established Queen Bee and a pert-breasted pretender to the throne? Bitch, please. Is this what TMZ and 'The Jersey Shore' have reduced us to? If I believed in a god, I wouldn't blame him for smiting us.

Nonetheless, I am all over Carol in this. Give up, Nicole. You aren't worthy of attempting awful banter and terrible puns with a woman who has been in the business since before you were a snot-nosed toddler, crying for your Mommy. Learn your place, gurl. In 25 years, if you're lucky, the shoe will be on the other foot and all the plastic surgery in the world won't hide the vain, empty shell beyond those pretty little eyes!

And Now For Something Completely Different:

The new fridge is here (it's a Frigidaire) and working! The food and condiments I managed to save are all in it, though it is slightly (.2 CF) larger than the Fridge of Despair and looks very empty. The freezer has already managed two batches of cubes since 2 PM and all is right with the world once again.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Local News / Local TV Hosts / News / Nonsense / Philadelphia / Scandal / Viral Video with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-bitchiest-nonsense-you-see-this.html. Thanks!

A Broken Nation

I had to spend some time looking at funny stuff before I could even entertain writing about the events of this morning. It's beyond the pale... incomprehensible; ghastly; horrific; senseless... the list goes on but there truly is no one word to describe the grief, pain and suffering in a town that might as well be Bedford Falls. 

Newtown is in southwestern Connecticut, just northeast of Dansbury. Filled with Colonial estates and modern McMansions, Newtown is the epitome of the American Dream, much like the place of the same name where I spend my days. It's not the kind of place where really bad things happen. At least not outside of closed doors. It might as well be called Pleasantville. Until today.

Today a monster killed 20 children and 6 adults, including his mother and himself. I'm calling this obviously insane person "No," because rather than becoming famous for the atrocities he committed this morning, his name should be stricken from the record. What worse fate can anyone suffer than to have any and all acknowledgement of one's existence erased forever? The cold-blooded son-of-a-bitch mowed down 20 children with an automatic weapon. Somehow, No slipped through the cracks of the mental health system and got himself some guns (legally purchased under his mother's license) and finally broke. As if of this writing, no one knows why No did what he did. Matricide is the act of a particularly disturbed individual to begin with. No shot his mother in the face, an exceptionally personal and brutal way to kill. No then went the place of his mother's employment and... well, did what he did.

I know I talked about the discussion my friend James and I had about guns after this summer's shooting in Colorado. That discussion continued among James and several other of my friends on Facebook toady in response to my original post:

"I can't imagine the grief and horror going on in CT right now. I wonder how the NRA lobbyists are going to spin this one? My heart goes out to the victims and their families... so tragic." 26 comments later, my 'Final final word' was: "Go tell the people you love that you love them. There is no warranty on life."

Here's the thing: No one wants to take away guns from responsible hunters and target shooters. No one wants to take pistols away from properly trained homeowners who want to protect themselves. What we want is for it to be harder for people like No to own guns. What we want is for it to be harder for gang kids to get guns. What we want is the chance for a 6 year old to grow up and live to his or her full potential. What we want is to be able to go to the mall or the movies or a political fundraiser without of fear of being shot. What we want are mental health professionals who will speak up when they feel a client may be dangerous. In 2011, 8 people were killed with guns in Great Britain. 10,728 were killed with guns in the U.S. Despite the difference in populations, those numbers are terrifying.

Of course, today's events aren't the only thing that prove our nation is broken. We're still fighting two costly wars; the economy is just coming back, though the much talked-about "fiscal cliff" could drive us back into recession. The extreme right continues to fight progress every step of the way, despite recent election results. The Tea Party may well be the worst thing to happen to American Democracy since the Civil War. Racism and homophobia continue to thrive in what is supposed to be the most advanced nation in the world. Corporations are legally recognized as 'people.' Does that mean if there's a hostile takeover, the aggressor can be charged with murder? Doubt that.

Speaking of the recent elections, I don't remember a more divisive Presidential race in my lifetime. Or an uglier one. Of course, several good things other than the re-election of President Obama happened in November. Four states approved Marriage Equality by voter majority and two states legalized recreational marijuana for personal use. Mr. Obama has said he has "bigger fish to fry" than pursuing antiquated laws left over from the Nixon administration. Too bad that greedy corporate goons drove Hostess out of business. Stoners in Colorado and Washington better learn to like Little Debbie and Tastykake (if they can get them). Oh, did I mention that one of the SCOTUS judges (whose son used to 'minister' to an "Ex-Gay" organization) openly flaunted his homophobia today? And just in case you forgot, Snooki made more money last week than you made all year. Donald Trump pays more for the stylist that does his ridiculous comb-over than you spend on groceries for a week (of course, that stylist may well be responsible for Mr. Trump's obvious brain damage). So many things broken...

How do we repair what's broken? I'm not sure. I have hope, though. I try to take solace in the fact that there truly are FAR more many good people in the world, than bad. Here's a video to prove it:

You should be good because it's the right thing to do, not because someone threatened you with eternal damnation if you didn't. Fear should never be anyone's motivation to do what's right. So, at the risk of repeating myself: Go tell the people you love that you love them, as often as possible. There are no warranties for our often surprisingly fragile lives.

You should also learn to take joy in your life and laugh as often as possible. I couldn't end such a dour downer of a post end on a such a somber note so please enjoy a bit of nonsense:

More, anon.

Prospero

More, anon.

Prospero

You have read this article Bad / Guns / Homophobia / News / Nonsense / Politics / Ramblings / Real Life Horrors / Sad / Tragedies with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/12/a-broken-nation.html. Thanks!

Too Many Titles!!

Fine Middle-Aged Cannibals?

I couldn't decide what to call this post. I didn't want to go the Sweeney Todd route, though I'll certainly be talking about that in a moment (though I doubt either of these people were breaking out into clever, darkly humored song). I almost did "The Brazilian Empenada Massacre;" "Waiter, There's a Tooth in My Empenada;" "Wrong Turn 7: Carnivale" (think about that one a sec...); "Honey, I Cooked the Nannies..." Then I thought about how awful a story it really is. And went right back to thinking up horrible jokes to make about it. Because... well, more on that in a moment. Let's see what I'm going on about, first.

The Mirror is reporting that in Brazil, Jorge Silveira (50), wife Isobel (51) and mistress Bruna da Silva (25) lured women to their home to work as nannies. The women were killed and cooked into empenadas which were eaten by the trio and sold to folks in the hood.

As Mrs. Lovett might say, "Times is hard..." That's Jorge and Isobel in the photo. I guess they don't have Clairol in Brazil. Of course eating human flesh - no matter how mouth-wateringly delicious it may seem - is a depraved act in modern society. And they weren't all TCM about it. They did it... are you ready? Really, really ready? They did it for their religion. The couple reportedly belong to a cult which exhorts ritualistic cannibalism as a "purification ritual." Once again, religion proves to be the completely sane and sensible route to take... NOT! And I make horrible jokes about it because if I didn't laugh, I'd lose my mind over how awful people can be to one another, especially under the influence of religion.

Many years ago, I had just started a new retail job and was making new friends; figuring out what clique I was going to be in (and boy, was I), etc. News broke in Philadelphia about a woman escaping the basement dungeon of serial kidnapper/rapist/murderer Gary Heidnik. The reports in those first few days were horror upon horror and it all became to awful and people started making sick jokes, as they do. We were in the store's basement, stocking the Toy department before the grand opening and I several other department managers had gotten friendly and we start in with the Heidnik jokes. The ones that laughed were in the clique. Not because we were the "mean girls," but because we dealt with the horror through humor. A very sweet current co-worker and Facebook friend called me out on my dark streak by finally recognizing Krampus as my profile picture, because of her heritage. "A lot of your posts and pictures are dark and weird and I have no frame of reference for them," she wrote. I completely understand. 

And speaking of humor, horror and cannibalism, my favorite musical role of my varied stage career is undoubtedly Sweeney in Sondheim's darkly humored operetta Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. One of the few shows my mother saw and said "I forgot it was you." Of course this story echoes the plot of Sweeney Todd, or at least some of it. Murder and human pies for sale. Hell, there's even a mistress the wife lets play. It doesn't get much more salacious than that. Or funnier. Here's my favorite number from Sweeney Todd (and the one I learned first):

Here are a few other references I refrained from making:




This next one may be NSFW



That has be the strangest soundtrack for a horror movie, ever...



A strange, strange film...



One of my favorite oddball indie comedies, ever...

Okay... I'm done. I promise. Except, I think I want a meat-lover's pizza, now.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Black Comedy / Cannibals / Humor / Musicals / News / Real Life Horrors / Sondheim / Sweeney Todd with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/12/too-many-titles.html. Thanks!

Why It's NOT the Zombie Apocalypse

The Zombie Apocalypse?

There has been lots of disturbing news (mostly out of Florida) lately about 'zombies' and cannibalism in real life. Most horrific and sensational, is the story of the young man in Miami who attacked and ate 75% of the face of a homeless man. Rudy Eugene, 31, was most likely under the influence of a drug commonly called "bath salts" on the streets when he attacked Ronald Poppo, a homeless man last week, resulting in sensationalist headlines about a "Zombie Attack." As of now, Poppo remains in critical condition in a Miami hospital. It took six rounds to take Eugene down, after he growled at the officer who ordered him to stop the attack. The attack coincides with recent reports of chemical or other-wise toxic vapors in various Florida schools.

Then there is 21 year-old Alexander Kinyua, a Morgan State University student who is accused of eating the brain and heart of his roommate, 37 year-old Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie in Maryland. And let's not forget our neighbors to the north. Canadian authorities are on the hunt for one Luca Rocco Magnottta, a gay porn actor who apparently brutally murdered and dismembered his lover, mailing the man's body parts to various Canadian locations. Magnotta supposedly recorded the murder and posted it on YouTube, along with videos of him killing kittens.

All of these crimes have one thing in common: They are the result of defective mentalities. They have nothing to do with reanimated corpses, Voodoo, viral infections or bad gas station hamburgers. The people who perpetrated these crimes were either insane or under the influence of some seriously bad news drugs. 

How do I know this? Simple: ZOMBIES ARE NOT REAL. They are works of fiction created by screenwriters and novelists in an attempt to make money. Look, I love a good zombie movie as much (if not more) as the next guy. "The Walking Dead" is one of my favorite TV shows ever and George A. Romero is one of my personal icons. Hell, I've written a zombie movie, myself. I even own several zombie toys. But I know that zombies, vampires, werewolves and living mummies don't actually exist. As does every rational person on the planet.

Here's the thing: Terrible things happen all the time. Lunatics, despots and dictators commit atrocities, every day. People are murdered in any number of horrific ways, every day. Death and destruction are all around us, every day. It's just a sad fact of life. It just so happened that these particularly sensational and gruesome events took place within a few days of each other and the media, always looking to make money on real-life horrors, took hold of and ran off with them. The best we can do is be glad these things haven't happened (and most likely won't happen) to us and carry on with our lives. The Ed Geins; Jeffrey Dahmers; Rudy Eugenes and Luca Magnottas of the world are in reality (and thankfully) few and far between. There is nothing supernatural about these people. They're just a very sad fact of life who have absolutely nothing to do with this:

Just keep telling yourself, "It's only a movie."

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article News / Ramblings / Real Life Horrors / Sensationalism / The Zombie Apocalypse / Zombies with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/06/why-it-not-zombie-apocalypse.html. Thanks!

I'm Sick to Death of...

The wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton is still over a month away and I am already sick of hearing about it. The impending royal nuptials have absolutely no bearing on my life, yet the media insists on bombarding me with mindless details about it.

I'm not British. My life is completely unaffected by their wedding and frankly, I just don't give a flying crap. Seriously, do you care about this? Does it have any impact on your day-to-day life? I didn't think so.

There are plenty of things I'm sick of seeing on TV these days. Most of them are really bad commercials for products and/or services I don't need; don't want and don't care about. yet there they are, blaring their nonsensical noise about every 15 minutes or so, reminding us that the world these days revolves around mindless consumerism. Infomercials, salacious "infotainment" and pointless gossip are everywhere. That's not to say things like the death of a legend aren't news. But spending hour upon hour covering them seems not only boring, but downright ghoulish.

Of course, the worst offenders are cable channel commercials. Honestly, I just want to smack these people in the face and tell them to go away forever:







And that's just the tip of the iceberg. These kinds of commercials are the very reason I DVR all my favorite Prime Time shows, just to zap past them. Occasionally, someone will produce a funny commercial that catches my eye:



But these are sadly few and far between.

So, what topics, commercials or "news" items are you sick of hearing about? I always love your comments.

More, anon..
Prospero

You have read this article Ads / News / Ramblings with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-sick-to-death-of.html. Thanks!

Bat News

Word is finally out (via Total Film) on the role that Christopher Nolan has given to the talented Joseph Gordon-Levitt in The Dark Knight Rises. It seems that former "3rd Rock from the Sun" and Inception star will be playing Alberto Falcone (AKA Holiday), son of Carmine Falcone, who was played by Tom Wilkinson in Batman Begins.

No word yet on how large a part Holiday will play in the film, though it makes sense to bring the character into play to tie the trilogy up. Still, many folks are up in arms over how many villains Nolan is loading into his final entry in the franchise. We already know that hottie Tom Hardy will be playing Bane and Ann Hathaway is Catwoman. And there are rumors that Marion Cotillard has been cast as the daughter of Ra's al Ghul (Liam Neesom). And let's not forget that Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow is still on the loose. So that leaves five potential villains for the Dark Knight to contend with... 

And we all know how well multiple villains played out in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy. Not that I'm comparing... as much as I love all of Raimi's films, Nolan is by far the better director. Still... 

I imagine all of this will lead to a three+ hour Batman movie. Will movie-goers flock to a LOTR-sized comic book hero movie? Probably. I know I'll be in line for The Dark Knight Rises on opening weekend in July of 2012. Nolan always seems to manage to give me a wonderful birthday gift every two years.

And speaking of movies I can't wait to see, D and I will be seeing Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch next weekend. You can be sure I'll be reviewing it as soon as I get home.

Snyder has proven he can deliver when it comes to amazing visuals with his previous films Dawn of the Dead, 300 and Watchmen. But all of them those were adaptations of material that already existed. I can't wait to see what he has in store with his first completely original film...

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Batman / Christopher Nolan / Joseph Gordon-Levitt / Movies / News / Suckerpunch / Trailers / Zack Snyder with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2011/03/bat-news.html. Thanks!

I'm a Moonchild, Damnit!

Okay - here's the deal. It was recently announced that none of us are the Zodiacal signs we've always assumed we were. It all has to do with the position of Magnetic North and the alignment of the stars when the Zodiac was first established over 3000 years ago vs. their positions today.

This is not really new news. Astronomers have known this for about 2500 years. Astrologists, however, have chosen to ignore this bit of science for the last two and a half millenniums, simply because it doesn't jibe with what their charlatan predecessors wrote all those years ago. It's also something I remember being reported with much less fanfare about 10 years ago. We all seemed to ignore it then, so why the big uproar now? Maybe because the much-feared (and completely over-hyped) 2012 is looming that much closer (and please remind me to point and laugh at those people when 2013 rolls around and the Earth is still spinning on it's axis).

Anyway, according to the new positions of the stars, we are actually the Zodiac sign preceding the sign we've always assumed ourselves to be. So, according to the new charts I am actually a Gemini. But I'm not buying it. Not that I actually buy the whole Horoscope thing in the first place. But when one looks up the attributes of Cancer in a Zodiacal chart, I am the embodiment of that particular sign: Creative; artistic; a homebody; emotional and slightly stubborn; opinionated and affected by the cycles of the moon. Check, check and check. Cancers tend to get along with other Cancers (an apparently rare thing among the signs - and something which would explain many of the relationships and adventures I've had during my life) and we don't like being told that we are wrong. Of course, over the last 20 years or so, there has been a push to rename Cancer (because of the negative connotations associated with the word) to "Moonchild," hence the title of this post. But surely, there are plenty of creative homebodies with headstrong opinions who were born during other times of year. I can name at least half a dozen among my own friends and acquaintances.

Now, anyone with half a brain knows it's all BS and nothing about who you really are has anything to do with the time of year in which you were born. But humans have a tendency to try to make order out of the chaos that is the Cosmos. We try to try the force randomness of the Universe into orderly things we can both control and comprehend. But to me, that randomness is the beauty of life. Do things happen for a reason? We would all like to think so. But they probably don't. Accidents are just that; synchronicity is just coincidence and fate is a concept created to comfort us in the face of all the random crap that happens just because it happens. Time is a randomly assigned set of numbers (which varies depending on which calendar you happen to follow) and no one will ever really know the true nature of existence, except perhaps the Zen Buddhists who believe that life is its own reward and we should rejoice in the fact of our own existence, for its own sake.

I suppose that all sounds bleak and existential to most of you. Hell, after almost 50 years of thinking about such things, I'm still not sure myself. Still, after almost 50 years of thinking about such things, the uncertainty of all is what makes our lives so very precious.

In the end, I'm still a Moonchild (Okay... Cancer, you purists) and that's the silly blurb I'll read in the Daily Horoscope, hoping it's true despite knowing it's nonsense, forgetting what it says 10 minutes after I've read it.

MSNBC's amazing and funny Rachel Maddow has her own thoughts on the matter, which you can see in the clip below (via):

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

As for me - I'm a Moonchild, and a Moonchild I shall remain.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article News / Nonsense / Zodiac with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-moonchild-damnit.html. Thanks!

A Monday Night Quickie

Okay - so maybe it's already been done to death by a thousand gay bloggers, but I just had to weigh in on the whole George Rekers scandal.

Honestly, it just makes me sad. While I am always happy to see a hypocrite brought down, I still have to wonder about the emotional pain that goes along with such an event.

Rekers certainly caused emotional pain in the gay men he supposedly councils to become "straight." And I imagine his family must be experiencing some pain at the revelation that the man they thought they knew is not the man Rekers apparently is. And Rekers certainly has his own pain in dealing with his own repressed homosexuality.

If you live in a cave and haven't heard about this scandal, here's a report from Newsy.com:



I'm currently directing a production of Del Shore's hilarious play Sordid Lives for the annual JTMF AIDS fundraiser. In it, one scene involves a therapist who believes she can 'de-homosexualize' gay men through therapy. Of course, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from their list of recognized psychological disorders over 40 years ago. Still, folks like Mr. Rekers believe that therapy and prayer can turn gay people straight.

I'm happy (and sad for those who believe otherwise) to report that one CANNOT "Pray the Gay Away." Such so-called 'therapies' have proven again and again to do far more harm than good. And as evidenced by these recent events, lying to the world about yourself while publicly denouncing the very activities in which one engages, can only lead to more pain. As soon as the so-called "Religious Right" realizes that we (the LGBT community) are not only here to say, but aren't going to put up with their lies, the better. Of course, those who live by blind faith are doomed to live blindly. How many more George Rekers or Ted Haggards will it take before they realize the error of their ways? Sadly, I think they never will.

And here's Rachel Maddow's take on the whole thing:



I hope every person involved in the "ex-gay" movement takes a step back and re-analyzes their take on this subject. Unfortunately, I don't think they will.

More, anon.
Pospero

You have read this article Gay / Hypocrites / News / Ramblings / Scandal with the title News. You can bookmark this page URL http://tammycross.blogspot.com/2010/05/a-monday-night-quickie.html. Thanks!