The Most Egregious Thing You'll See This Week

I was a sophomore in High School when Annie made it's Broadway debut (look it up and do the math). The comic-strip on which the musical was based debuted in 1933 and was still in syndication when the musical first arrived on the Great White Way. It's ubiquitous anthem "Tomorrow" is one the late 20th Century's most recognizable songs and without it, we wouldn't have Sarah Jessica Parker.  The show has had two revivals, one in 1997 and another in 2012. It was made into a not terrible movie in 1982, starring a local gal with whom my mother shared 1 degree of separation, Aileen Quinn (Mom worked with Aileen's mother back in her Playground Monitor days). Carol Burnett and Tim Curry were the villains in director John Huston's fairly faithful version.

News of a new version slated to star Willa Smith arose about three years ago. Last year it was announced that Smith was out, replaced by Beasts of the Southern Wild Oscar-nominee Quvenzhané Wallis.All seemed well and good until we found out that Cameron Diaz (Bad Teacher) and Jaimie Foxx (Ray) were slated to play Miss Hannigan and the updated version of Daddy Warbucks, Benjamin Stacks (get it? -- ugh!). Okay. Fine. Maybe an update is in order. Urban orphans are certainly VERY different today from those of the Great Depression. I have no problem with making older works relevant to modern audiences. I've set both Much Ado About Nothing and Romeo and Juliet in the 20th Century. A timeless story is just that, right?

Wrong.

Look at this trailer for the 2014 Annie and tell me it doesn't make you want to pull your hair out by the roots.

UGH! It's everything I hate about the treacly original show, combined with every unoriginal thought put to paper by modern, corporate filmmakers. Directed by Will Gluck (best known for teen sex comedies like Easy A), this shameless POS is a perfect example of everything wrong with Hollywood and the U.S. film industry today. The trailer makes it clear that this movie will undoubtedly be the miserable flop that it is destined (and deserves) to be.

More, anon.

Prospero

PS - A special thanks to my friend Sally, who first shared that clip.

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Last Words on this Topic

Okay, so maybe I was a bit premature. But I did say I'd post if something came up. And something actually has sort of blown up all over social media and I couldn't express everything I had to say about it in short bursts and comments on other people's timelines.

I'm sure you have figured out what I'm going to talk about from the the GrumpyCat meme pic I've posted to your right.

Uncle P's first experience seeing The Sound of Music was at a drive-in with Mom and my sister. I don't remember how old I was. It was certainly before the VHS boom of the late-70's and popular movies were often re-released to theatres many years after their initial runs. Mom thought we'd like it, so off the three of us went. That's almost all I really remember about it. I think I liked it. I do remember Mom telling us about a friend of hers who had left after the wedding scene (long movies often had intermissions) because she thought it was over. And unlike Mary Poppins,* it didn't make my sister cry because Mary left the Banks children. It undoubtedly had an influence on me. I have sung 'Edelweiss' for more auditions than almost any other song. And yes, it's old-school, Rogers and Hammerstein cheese. In fact, one of their cheesiest. But the film is a classic for so many reasons, Ms. Andrews' and Mr. Plummer's performances among the least of them. There is Robert Wise's amazing direction; the stunning scenery and photography; gorgeous period costumes and a score filled with songs that literally everyone in the Western world recognizes, if not knows the lyrics to. The movie is so beloved, that President Reagan rather infamously retreated from a G7 Summit which he was hosting, in order to watch it on TV.

You obviously think you know where this is going, but bear with me.

NBC presented an adaptation of the stage version of the show (in which Broadway legend Mary Martin originated the role of Maria) last Thursday. Twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere in general exploded with both negative and positive reviews, comments and what one of my Facebook friends called a "Snarknado." To be honest, I had no intention of watching it. Don't get me wrong - I've performed in my fair share of R&H shows - they are staples of high school and community theatre. I played Emile in South Pacific my senior year in high school. But give me Sondheim; Schwartz; Kander & Ebb; Rado & Ragni or Parker & Stone, anytime. Especially when it comes to a show like The Sound of Music, which is far better suited for the screen than the stage.

The night it aired, I caught about a total of 30 minutes or so, starting with "My Favorite Things." Not wanting to gawk at the the train wreck, I caught subsequent sections while moving between programs I had DVR'd earlier in the week. I witnessed unsuppressed accents; breathy singing; some really bad acting and even worse dialogue; anachronistic costumes and some pretty crappy sets.

What I did not see, was a Musical Theatre production. There was no live audience; no pauses for applause or laughter; no energy reflected back to cast to inspire them. I saw a talented singer with no acting experience thrust into an iconic role which she had no business playing. I saw some amazing actors left adrift and others taking command. And then there was Audra McDonald's stunning rendition of "Climb Every Mountain:"

Yes, so many of my theatre friends want to tout "The Sound of Music Live!" as an introduction to and inspiration for young theatre enthusiasts. And yes, it's wonderful that TV wants to bring us live performances (something NBC already does on SNL). But if you want to bring live theatre to the masses, then really shell out the bucks give them today's live theatre. I would have been glued to a live performance of Wicked or Pippin. Instead, NBC chose a 'safe' musical, did some stunt-casting and hoped Ms Underwood's fans would tune in, And while the ratings were pretty good, the criticism was less than kind, even among mainstream media. Time Magazine's review had this to say: 

"When Carrie Underwood stepped out on the (wooded, not grassy) hills and started singing, I wished the hills were alive with the sound of hungry mountain lions." Ouch!

Trust me, NO ONE believes more in the power of the Performing Arts than Uncle P.  While a poorly produced and woefully miscast production from a rag-tag company in a Podunk town may be perfectly acceptable and delightful, we expect and deserve more from a multimillion dollar production on a major TV network. 

*Speaking of Mary Poppins, I think if I only see one Holiday movie this year (though I hope to see a few), it has to be Saving Mr. Banks:

And in case you're wondering how all of this ties together, please remember that Julie Andrews won her only Oscar for playing... Mary Poppins. My dear dancer friend 'Lizard' and I were lucky enough to see her live in the Broadway production of Victor/Victoria and while she didn't quite have the range for which she was once so renowned, her stage presence alone was enough to make for an unforgettable theatrical event. That, my friends, is why so many of us hated "The Sound of Music Live!" and it's many missed opportunities.

I truly hope this isn't the last time we see such a grand experiment. I just hope it's done right, next time.

Rant over. Break starts now. Really. Unless some other idiotic thing gets stuck in my craw.  << sigh >>

More, anon (I suppose I have to go back that now, too).

Prospero

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Everything That's Wrong (And a Little Bit Right) with Broadway Today

Esther Hannaford and friend in King Kong Live

Ever since Rogers and Hammerstein created the first true 'book musical' (Oklahoma!) in 1946, the genre has been about telling stories with songs and dances which actually advanced the plot. Over the years, there have been many innovations to and variations of that concept. Personally, I find most musicals written before 1967 to be colossal bores; dated, silly, naive and supremely indicative of the times in which they were written (I said 'most,' not 'all' - there are exceptions to every rule, even mine). 

In 1967, Rado and Ragni's Tribal Rock musical Hair changed everything. Musicals (despite R&H's anti-racist South Pacific) became socially relevant. Their stories and songs did more than entertain, providing avenues of social comment and discourse. The 70's brought us shows like Pippin; A Little Night Music; Chicago; A Chorus Line and Working. Broadway finally had something to say. The 80's continued the trend with Evita, Les Miserables and Miss Saigon. They also brought us the show that would start the trend of musical spectacles, the amazingly still-running Andrew Lloyd-Weber version of Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera. A falling chandelier; a mechanical elephant and grand staircase filled with outrageously costumed characters started the trend of the Broadway Spectacle. Of course, in the 90's Disney invaded Broadway with director Julie Taymor's wildly successful production of The Lion King and there's been no going back. Ever since, Broadway musicals have gotten more and more elaborate, requiring more spectacle, more effects and bigger stunts. Stephen Schwartz's hilarious 2003 Steampunk adaptation of Gregory Maguire's novel Wicked sealed the deal and the shows have gotten bigger and more outrageous ever since. See Taymor's ridiculous Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for prime examples of modern Broadway's excess.

In development for over five years, the new musical King Kong Live saw its world premiere in Melbourne last month and from all accounts, the show is a quantifiable hit, extending it's initial limited run Down Under through August. Featuring an 18 feet + tall gorilla puppet and a decidedly anachronistic score (you can listen to parts of some of the songs here), King Kong Live is slated for Broadway sometime in 2014/15. 

I get it. Tech-savvy 21st Century audiences expect more for their theatre dollars. If I'm spending $110 or more for a ticket, I want to be wowed too. But where does it end? Transformers The Musical? Ironman Sings? Godzilla!? The original 1933 King Kong may well be the movie that made me love movies, but will King Kong Live be the show that ends my love affair with the Broadway musical? I certainly hope not.

Wow! That's certainly impressive. And while I would love to see the show (assuming I can actually afford the ticket price), I am much more excited to see Neil Patrick Harris in the announced revival of Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Broadway may well be 'The Great Invalid,' though spectacles like Kong and Spider-Man may well be the shows that price it out of reach for most folks. My advice to Broadway producers harkens back to that of Henry David Thoreau: Simplify. Audiences are expected to suspend their disbelief. They don't need 18 foot-tall puppets to do that, no matter how amazing they may be.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Bizzaro Forgetten Gems: "Liquid Sky"

While visiting my usual haunts, I came across a video teaser (via) for a group (or song - not sure which) called Sparkles and Wine. I have no idea exactly why, but watching it sent me right me right back to the weirdness that was the 1980's and Russian director Slava Tsukerman's 1982 film Liquid Sky. Performance artist and model Margaret (Anne Carlisle) is addicted to heroin and sex. She has so much sex that aliens, who live on the endorphins produced by heroin and orgasms, land on the roof of the building across from her apartment in order to consume her many partners' (including male model Jimmy - also played by Carlisle) endorphins. Much mayhem ensues.

I saw this movie with my friend Deb (the mother of my godson) at the Ritz* in Philadelphia. We were both very into the music, fashion and "F*ck You" attitudes of the anti-mainstream, just like every other 20-something of the time. Loaded with time-lapse images, outre dialog and loads of folks on the fringe, Liquid Sky was (and is) very much a product of it's time.

Carlisle and Tsukerman went on to a few more projects, though neither has been heard from in the U.S. since the 90's and few (if any) of the rest of the cast has gone on to do anything significant. It may not exactly be brilliant, but Liquid Sky is certainly indicative of the anti-establishment movements of the 50's, 60's and 70's, simply replacing Beatniks and Hippies with Punks and New Wavers.

"Delicious, delicious. Oh, how boring."

More, anon.
Prospero

*Also where I saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch for the first time.

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Review: "Evil Dead"

Jane Levy in Evil Dead

In 1981, director Sam Raimi and his brother Ted put together a very low budget horror movie called The Evil Dead. The movie caused a bit of a sensation, despite its terrible acting and laughable effects (it also scared the crap out of Uncle P's sister). 1987's Evil Dead II wasn't so much a sequel as a deliberately funny re-make (think The Three Stooges meet The Exorcist). Raimi's last movie in the trilogy, 1992's Army of Darkness, was a full-out horror comedy, combined with a medieval fantasy. The movies made Bruce Campbell a cult star, legitimized Raimi as a director and even spawned an hilarious stage musical. All this from the simple story of five college friends who unwittingly unleash an evil force by reading from a human skin-bound book of spells. Rumors of a fourth movie have taunted fans for decades, but Raimi was busy making the original Spider-Man trilogy, the very under-appreciated Drag Me to Hell and this year's disappointing Oz the Great and Powerful. When it was announced that he would be producing (along with Campbell) a reboot, written and directed by Uruguayan director Fede Alvarez, fans were up arms. Today, Dear D and I saw the new version, and I'm happy to report that Alvarez and company (with a few exceptions) got most of it right.

Mia ("Suburgatory" star Jane Levy) is a drug addict trying to go cold turkey with the help of her brother David and their friends, who have chosen Mia and David's family cabin in the woods to seclude themselves while she goes through withdrawal. What they don't know is that the cabin was recently the site of a ritual to... well, the less said about that, the better. The performers of said ritual have left behind a dozen or so dead cats and a book wrapped in plastic and barbed wire. Unable to contain his curiosity, Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci), the scholar among the group, unwraps the book and reads aloud from it, opening the door for a terrible demonic entity which invades Mia and basically dooms them all.

Approaching the story as a full-out Horror movie mostly pays off for Alvarez, working from a script he wrote along with Rodo Sayagues and an uncredited Diablo Cody (Jennifer's Body). The four friends have vowed to keep Mia at the cabin, no matter how much she begs to go home. When she starts behaving strangely, they attribute it to withdrawal and ignore her pleas to leave. Of course, things quickly escalate and it is soon apparent that something is very wrong. The violence and gore escalate, with plenty of stabbing; gouging; shredding; dismemberment and enough blood to fill an Olympic pool (this isn't a movie for the faint of heart, kids). There are demonic voices, slamming doors and exploding mirrors; raping trees, scalding showers and more than a few homages to the original (Mia is first discovered sitting atop Ash's dilapidated car, for one). I was fine with all of it, until the movie went and used two truly ridiculous cliches that drive me crazy - SPOILERS AHEAD: Skip to the next paragraph to avoid them. Cliche #1: Nail guns cannot fire nails like a firearm! There is a safety catch on every nail gun ever made which makes this impossible. Cliche #2: Shooting a plastic gas can will never cause an explosion! Gasoline itself is flammable, but not explosive. Gasoline fumes are explosive, but require a flame or a spark to ignite them and neither can be achieved by shooting through a plastic container. I don't know why Hollywood continues to perpetrate these fallacies. They are insults to the audience's intelligence and they should go away forever (though I'm sure they won't). 

The actors in the new version are certainly better than in Raimi's original, with Levy going all-out to make Mia as different as possible from the character she plays on "Suburgatory." Shiloh Fernandez (Deadgirl: Red Riding Hood) is fine as David, Mia's conflicted brother. Pucci (Carriers); Jessica Lucas (Coverfield) and newcomer Elizabeth Blackmore are all more than competent in what must have been physically demanding roles. Alvarez's direction takes several cues from Raimi's original, including running shots through the woods and close-ups of painful-looking slicing and dicing. D and I both winced more than a few times at the imagined pain the characters were put through (not that she would, but my dear Q should avoid this one at all costs). Alvarez thankfully eschews CG imagery and opts for physical FX which far outshine Raimi's original efforts. All in all, I had a great time, though D was disappointed at the lack of camp. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). And fans of the original should stay for a special Easter Egg after the credits.

On a personal note, I was horrified to see a family bring a young boy who couldn't have been more than 8 or 9 to see this movie. Inappropriate on so many levels for such a young kid, I hope they are kept awake all night by the boy's nightmares. Evil Dead is rated a hard "R" for language and extreme gore, violence and horror. Anyone who brings a child to see it should be reported for abuse.

Oh - One more thing... why do filmmakers allow trailers to contain material which doesn't actually appear in the final cut? 

More, anon.
Prospero

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Extended Winter Blahs

No Sh*t, Sherlock!

Normally, I despise Winter. And while this winter seems to want to hang on well past its welcome (an Ohio prosecutor has actually - though  satirically - indicted Punxatawny Phil, demanding the death penalty for Phil's 'deliberate misrepresentation of early spring'); there are a few things that made it more bearable than most (and one or two that made it a little worse). 

Let's start with what extra-sucked about this winter, so I can end on a high note, yes? First, though I deliberately chose to take most of this season off, I have done nothing theatrical since last June and have nothing lined up until October. Yes, I could use a break to concentrate on other artistic endeavors (and two dormant projects are well on their ways to revival and possible full fruition) but I still find myself jealous of my many of my friends who are (or have been) in some terrific shows, lately. And I worry that I'll get lazy and forget everything I've spent most of my life learning about acting and directing. I know it sounds silly, but the theatre folk among you know exactly what I mean. Of course, my mother's recent health issues and my increased involvement in her care have taken their toll. And I miss the Sun. We've had more gray days here in the East these past few months than I can remember. And as much as I hated spending 5 days without power and heat following Sandy, I know there are folks who had (and still have) it much worse than I.

Still, there were several things that kept this winter from being a complete disaster. First, I doubled up on my vitamin D supplement starting in late September and I can honestly say that it's made a difference. And as for those revived projects; I am very excited to see them in the hands of new collaborators, both of whom are very talented young men I am pleased to call 'Friend.'

Of course, the best thing that happened to Uncle P in a very long time was meeting T.  Being found both interesting and attractive does wonders for one's self-esteem. Last summer, I was telling friends I had given up on romance and had resigned myself to living a life of solitude. I don't know if it was the extra vitamin D or something else, but after Christmas I decided I wasn't going to settle for that and joined a few online dating sites. And along came T. And hope. T and I are still very new (and live an hour apart from one another) and I have no idea where it might lead (if anywhere), but it's nice to know I'm not done with romance, even if I'm older than dirt.

Now if it would only get warm and sunny already.

How does a movie so bad have such a great soundtrack? At least Peter Frampton was still adorable, though Aerosmith has the best number:

More, anon.
Prospero

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Falling Mascots and Other Nonsense

So I bought myself a present today. I'm listening to it right now. In typical Musical Theatre geek fashion I broke down and bought the "Smash" Season 1 CD. Love it or hate it (I've embraced it's silly soap-opera look at the business and really love it), you can't deny how well done it is. I'm also a fan of composer Marc Shaiman (Hairspray), who writes the music for Bombshell, the fictional musical about Marilyn Munroe at the center of the show. I know there are loads of Katherine McPhee haters, but I have never seen "American Idol" and had no idea who she was before "Smash," and I kind of fell in love with her in this part. But it really is an ensemble and what a cast! Broadway, film and television veterans who all certainly understand the process. And they honestly do some much more interesting covers than "Glee" could hope to. I think the music is even better this season, and am looking forward to both the Season 2 and the complete Bombshell CDs.

Posting that "Mascot Fails" video last night had me seeking out more. Honestly, whenever I see one of these for the first time I end up curled up on the floor, convulsing in laughter. My buddy James is the same way. It's very specific for me, because it's not the falling mascot that makes me laugh but imagining the expression on the face of the poor confused and terrified schlub inside the costume, flailing helplessly as he goes down, all while the visible face continues to grin idiotically. Oh... just thinking about  han;,s,md;lamk;nrf'aknjjkabhdkghddp 

Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I did not have a stroke. I lost all control there, for a second, laughing. I mean seriously. It's terrible. Every time I see some poor loser on the side of the road in a giant hotdog or chicken costume, I silently wish "Fall! Please, oh please, oh please, please please, PLEASE fall down!" I did see a Quizno's Cup Guy get pushed by the wind once, but he managed to stay upright (needless to say, much to my disappointment). Jimmy and I dare you not to laugh at these:

Oh, man! That last one just about made me hyperventilate. It just gets worse and worse and the poor jerk's ass must have hurt for days! I have to give him (or her) credit, because I would've given up a long time before the blue chicken does.

Here's wishing you a silly (in a good way) day, tomorrow. I'm doing everything I can to laugh as much as I can. Because I know if I don't... well... I prefer laughing, anyway.

Still not sure I'm back, back. Meeting a friend of a Day Job friend tomorrow night for drinks. We've been Facebook friends for a while and are finally meeting face-to-face before he takes off for Boston for a few weeks (our mutual friend describes him as a 'gypsy').

Yes, T and I did have that date, and it was.... very nice and we are both looking forward to more. I'm looking forward to some decent sleep, soon. And doing some laundry. And maybe going out for lunch. Calgon, take me away!

More, anon.
Prospero

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Review: "Les Miserables"

Good news: Les Miserables isn't as bad as the haters say it is.  Bad news: It's not nearly as good as it's fans would have you believe.

While it seems everyone wants to adapt movies into Broadway musicals these days (thank you, Galactic Empire), it's still risky to do so in reverse. For every Cabaret or Chicago, there's a Phantom of the Opera or The Producers. And while

I found much to really like about what director Tom Hooper (The King's Speech) did with the piece, many of his choices seemed inconsistent with the scope of an epic tale like Victor Hugo's massive anti-war/redemption/romance. 

There are many great things to say about Hooper's casting, the most pleasantly surprising being Amanda Seyfried's lovely, sweet and honest soprano - like I needed another reason to love her. I know much has been made about the performances of Anne Hathaway, Russell Crowe and Hugh Jackman, both good and bad. Hathaway is very good in her rather brief 20 minute appearance in a nearly 3-hour film. And while Crowe is the weaker singer (they transposed the vocal part of every one of Javert's songs), Jackman actually comes of the worse, nearly strangling to death on "Bring Him Home" (so gorgeously rendered by Colm Wilkinson in the original London and New York Productions*). Hathaway's version of "I Dreamed a Dream" my not be the (and I hate to use the word) 'prettiest,' but the performance probably comes closest to the lyrics' intent than any which may have come before. If you're a fan of Susan Boyle's cover, you'll probably hate this one. And despite what I may feel about Crowe as a human being, he takes his job seriously and his intensity helps his performance past his less-than-perfect vocals in the role of the relentless Detective Javert. Following in the footsteps of Robert Pattinson and Andrew Garfield as really creepy Brit boys American girls swoon over, Eddie Redmayne does a fine job with the vocals, though I have no idea how anyone might fall in love-at-first-sight with him. Right behind Seyfried is Samantha Barks, making her screen debut as Eponine after having sung the role in the show's 25th Anniversary Concert. Barks' performance of "On My Own" (possibly the ultimate song about unrequited love ever written) is one of the film's best scenes. Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter are well cast as the comically villainous inn-keepers, the Thenardiers and gorgeous Aaron Tveit is terrific as the impassioned revolutionary, Enjolras. Daniel Huttlestone (12 at the time of shooting) very nearly steals every scene in which he appears as Gavroche and the ensemble clearly gives their all... 

Hooper obviously has a vision and while he has done his best to be true to it, I can't honestly say his vision works for this particular piece. Hooper spends 90% of the film in close-up after close-up after close-up. The few things not shot this way seemed like aborted attempts to convey the scope of Cameron Macintosh's original stage production. On stage, Les Miserables is practically transcendent when you see it for the first time. Even well-done smaller productions can be truly breathtaking. The seemingly endless close-ups were anything but. Danny Cohen's gorgeous cinematography only serves to enhance Eve Stewart's meticulous production design and Paco Delgado's equally detailed costumes, though the new song "Suddenly" (written only so the film could be eligible for a "Best Song" Oscar), does little to add to Schonberg's and Boubil's original show.

The consensus among the group of actors/directors/musical theatre veterans with whom I saw it tonight: Hooper's adaptation of Les Miserables, while not exactly terrible, suffers from a lack of the theatricality which made the show so successful in the first place. While hardly the worst film adaptation of a stage musical (The Wiz, anyone?), the source material would have probably benefited from a less intimate directing style in order to properly relay Jean val Jean's 30+ year saga. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out of Four Stars). If you like movie musicals and have never seen the show (or heard it's many cast recordings), you may enjoy it. If you are a fan of the show, you might want to skip this version.

 *In the movie, Wilkinson plays the kindly Bishop who gives Val Jean a new lease on life.

More, anon.
Prospero

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