Potential Cinema Nerdgasms

Well, it looks like we may well have another summer and fall of potentially terrific movies ahead of us. I have yet to see Ironman 3, but I thought Star Trek Into Darkness was a lot of fun. Of course, even Will Smith couldn't save M. Knight Shayamalon's latest, After Earth, though for once, I can't fault M. Knight alone. The concept was Smith's and it is obvious from many a publicity still that the movie had two directors. Does the Philly-based director get a pass, then? Nope. He lost his pass with The Village. He went on to lose all credibility as a writer with the abysmal Lady in the Water. I honestly don't understand why studios and/or producers continue to pay this man to direct movies no one wants to see.

Still, there are plenty of upcoming films that give Uncle P a Nerd-On. Starting with Man of Steel. This year, my  Birthday Present Movie from Christopher Nolan is Henry Cavill as possibly the hottest Kal-El ever. I know I've both complained and gushed about this movie, but the more I see of it, the more I want to see it. I've already sent a "Save the Date" email to the Usual Suspects (D, K. Q, Dale, etc.), while trying my best to keep my expectations in check. Still... Cavill is absolutely breathtaking; Amy Adams will always be one of my favorite actors ever and the involvement of  Nolan all give me hope that Zach Snyder's reboot of the original Superhero will be as good as the trailers promise:

On the silly side, opening just a few days earlier is the all-star apocalypse comedy, This Is the End, a movie I've reserved to see with D (Trailer NSFW):

The following weekend features three releases, only two of which have my attention. First is Pixar's prequel to Monsters, Inc., Monsters University:

Brad Pitt's World War Z opens the same weekend. I found Max Brooks' novel to be boring and derivative, and certainly unfilmable as is contained no true narrative plot. Brooks has already disavowed the film and there is nothing in any of the trailers that makes me want to see what is sure to be another big budget flop. Is it unfair of me to already hate this movie?

Also seeing release that week is the remake of the 80's slasher Maniac, starring everyone's favorite Hobbit as a serial killer (may be NSFW):

There are plenty more, like my Birthday Gift from Guillermo del Toro, Pacific Rim:



And James Wan's take on 'Demonologists' Ed and Lorraine Warren, The Conjuring:

And since we're already talking about Wan, his sequel to one of my favorite recent horror movies is scheduled for release on Friday, September 13th. D has already promised to see it with me, though he said he can't promise not to cry:

There are tons more movies I (and probably you) want to see this summer. I'm taking the season off from theatre (for the first time since 1987) so I might actually get to see more films this year. 

More, anon.

Prospero

PS - Watch for links updates to this post.

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On Kaiju, Cthulhu, Lovecraft and del Toro

Many of you know that Uncle P is a Lovecraft fan. So it should be no surprise that a few years back I was very excited to learn that Guillermo del Toro was planning to adapt Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness" for the screen, I nearly peed my pants with joy. As far as I am concerned, del Toro's 2006 film Pan's Labyrinth is the first film masterpiece of the 21st Century. The Mexican-born director (and fellow monster-movie geek) has made some of the most visually arresting genre films ever made, including Blade II and the Hellboy movies. 

If anyone could successfully bring Lovecraft's horrifying monsters to the screen, it would be del Toro. Others have tried. In 1970, Sandra Dee; Dean Stockwell; Ed Begley, Sr; Sam Jaffe and Talia Shire starred in the rather boring and not scary The Dunwich Horror.  In the 80's, Stuart Band and Brian Yuzna made the first of many Lovecraft-inspired films, Re-Animator; an hilariously sick, gory and over-the-top film released in 1985 without a rating. It was followed by From Beyond and several other films, including Bride of Re-Animator and Beyond Re-Animator, all starring genre legend Jeffrey Combs. The underrated and very clever 1991 HBO movie Cast a Deadly Spell saw Fred Ward as noir detective Phillip Lovecraft in an alternate-history version of the 1940's where magic is commonly used by almost everyone and a real-estate developer is using zombies to build a housing development which is really just a front for a cult bent on reviving The Old Ones. And John Carpenter's 1994 film In the Mouth of Madness combines elements of both Lovecraft and King in a tale of a publisher searching for his missing best-selling horror author in a bizarre New England town where nothing is what it seems to be. Lovecraft's work is even referenced in Sam Raimi's Evil Dead films. While some of these movies succeed more than others, none has managed to truly capture the abject horrors Lovecraft describes in his stories and novels. A del Toro version had the potential to do just that. Sadly, the studio backing the project got scared off by such a big-budget production which would limit audiences by requiring an "R" rating in the U.S. and the project was nixed.

Happily, it left the director free to make a movie he was only supposed to produce. The kaiju/giant robot mash-up, Pacific Rim. Inspired by the Toho Studios post-nuclear giant monster (kaiju means 'strange beast' in Japanese) movies of the 50's and 60's, Pacific Rim will undoubtedly be little more than what it advertises itself to be: A big, splashy, FX-laden 3D movie about giant robots battling giant monsters. And watching the latest trailer (below), who could want anything more. Destruction! Giant monsters! Giant robots! I am so there. Watch this one in Full Screen and the sound turned up!

Sweet Mia and I, after being friends for a while now, may have to make this our first movie date.

PS - I am a sucker for Fred Ward and I actually really like Cast a Deadly Spell. It's funny and very, very clever. Plus, David Warner!



And while wildly uneven, Carpenter's take on Lovecraft is at least fun to watch:



More, anon.
Prospero

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Kaiju Do Me a Favor?

Cthulhuzilla? (via)

"Using the Beta Capsule, Hiyata has become... Ultraman!" As a kid, my first real introductions to Japanese culture were the Anime series ("Kimba the White Lion;" "Astroboy") and Kaiju  movies and TV shows I watched after school and on Saturday afternoons - Godzilla movies and "Ultraman."  I think even as a kid, I thought they were goofy. The monsters (and even the heroes) were obviously men in rubber suits, stomping around models of mid-century Tokyo. The response of Japanese filmmakers to the horrors of nuclear war, the genre spawned an industry that has found its way into American culture... or did it?

Kaiju [kye-jou] literally means "strange beast" in Japanese. In this case, giant monsters which wreak havoc in a major metropolitan city. Hmm... in what early American movie does a giant monster wreak havoc on a major metropolitan city...?

Hell, Toho studios practically admits they stole the idea in 1962's particularly silly King Kong vs. Godzilla.

And one can certainly go further back than that for tales of giant monsters. Lovecraft created an entire mythology based on giant monsters who ruled the world before the age of men. Conan-Doyle's The Lost World? No, older. I know...think about it - Moby Dick is actually early-American Kaiju. Further back? Sure. 'Jack and the Beanstalk' and any quest to slay a dragon. Earlier? Thor used his hammer on the Ice Giants. Wait, further? Okay - Goliath and Jonah have really bad days. Giant monsters persist in mythology because when early humans first encountered dinosaur fossils, they imagined all sorts of creatures that may have covered such skeletal remains. And just to bring it back full circle, the most recent example of American Kaiju was 2008's first-person, 'found footage' movie from producer J.J. Abrams, Cloverfield:

Having been denied (for now) bringing his vision of At the Mountains of Madness to the screen, director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth; Hellboy) is about to unleash his interpretation of Kaiju with next summer's release of Pacific Rim. A fan of del Toro's ever since 1993's odd little vampire tale Cronos, I have always been in awe of the director's passion for spectacular visuals. The full trailer for Pacific Rim was released online today and even from what little it shows, you can tell that no one's skimping here. Some folks have described Pacific Rim as "Godzilla meets Transformers." I can certainly see how some people might make that correlation but knowing the body of the director's work, I think we're in for something much more.

I have no doubt that Pacific Rim will be decidedly better than the 1998 fiasco that was Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin's Godzilla:

Let's hope the proposed 2014 American reboot of the franchise isn't anything like that. Regardless, I'll be seeing Pacific Rim. Will you?

More, anon.
Prospero

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A Particularly Twisted Bit of Genius: "Hambuster"

Hambuster

Before we get to tonight's "Main Event" (as it were), there's a new interview out with the brilliant genre director Guillermo del Toro, who is currently in the middle of his upcoming Kaiju Aliens Vs. Giant Robots movie, Pacific Rim. In it, he talks about yet another of my obsessions, the film's score. Composed by Ramin Djwadi (Ironman; "Game of Thrones"), del Toro practically gushes about the score. He also talks about expensive collectibles that I can't afford. You can see the interview here at Collider (via). Personally, I can't wait to see del Toro's version of a kaiju. I'm sure, given that his adaptation of In the Mountains of Madness was kiboshed., the gigantic beasties will be an homage to Lovecraft. Del Toro's is also working on the reboot of Disney's The Haunted Mansion. The 2003 Eddie Murphy movie is completely forgettable twaddle (much like every other Eddy Murphy movie since the first Nutty Professor - and that's being kind). A draft has been submitted, which the director says the studio loved, but he's too busy with Pac-Rim at the moment and IMDb is reporting he has  Pinocchio in pre-production and has announced Hellboy 3, so who knows when or if we'll ever see Disney de Del Toro.

Now that I've bored you all silly, onto the (you should excuse the expression) "meat of the matter" (you'll get that terrible joke in a couple of minutes).  My lovely theatre friend and fellow Humanist, Diana G. posted the video I am about to share on my Facebook Timeline with the comment: "Thought you might enjoy this." Hambuster could mean anything, especially when I saw the YouTube still of a baby on playground horsie. After I watched it, I commented: "J'adore! J'adore! What a particularly twisted bit of genius! Thank you!" And now I have no choice but to share it's deliciousness with you, dear readers. Ladies and germs, the funniest comment on carnivorous activity I've seen in a very long time - I give you Hambuster:

What do you think - Supersize Me meets Little Shop of Horrors via Dawn of the Dead? It doesn't matter, because it's just effing hilarious! Crap! I had to give up Chick-hates-Gays and now I have to give up burgers, too? Damnit! Good thing there's a great Italian/Pizza place and an amazing Chinese place, both within 5 minutes of my house.

Diana, who has been on the Foley crew for both of the JTMF staged radio plays, once commented on some bizarre* Facebook profile picture I had posted with something like: "Can't you ever post a nice profile picture like a kitty or a puppy or something? Of course you can't! And that's why we love you!" For someone I see only a few times a year (which must be remedied), Di knows me so well. 

*Bizarre? Me? Of course, you damned well know that 99% of my Facebook profile pictures are bizarre. And speaking of which, watch for a new Caliban's Revenge profile pic of Uncle P, soon. I'm still choosing from a number of possibilities. 

More, anon.
Prospero

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When Did You Know?

Go, Speed Racer, Go!

Nostalgia fully rears its bittersweet head in three... two... one:

I don't think I knew what it meant when, at age 10, I had my first crush on a boy (more on that, in a bit). In those days, my neighborhood friends and I would take every chance we could to look at somebody's dad's Playboy or other titty magazine, carrying on like the 10, 11 and 12 year-olds we were. For me, it wasn't so much the titties as it was the thought of being "naughty." I didn't understand the significance of that, either.

Life for kids who would now be referred to as "Tweens" was very different in the early 70's. We knew the future was coming, bringing technology with it. We had no idea of when or what or how much that technology was going to completely change the entire world in a few short decades. There were no video games then and there were 3 main channels, PBS and a couple of VHF channels (what my mother still refers to as "the off channels," for some reason). Even though we were very early cable TV subscribers (which meant we got off channels from New York!), we still had less than a dozen channel choices. There was no HBO; Showtime or Cinemax. In fact, the first time a friend told me his cousin got a channel that played uncut movies, 24 hours a day called "Home Box Office," I thought he was making it up to try and impress me or something. Computers were huge machines that took up entire rooms, though they had moved on from punch cards to tape and VCRs were still 8 years away. Anyone who has smelled the unmistakeable aroma of purple mimeograph ink knows exactly what I'm talking about. There was no CNN or FAUX News; no Google, Facebook or Twitter (words which actually had entirely different associations, then). No smartphones, tablets or laptops. Hell, there weren't even faxes. The Olympics were tape-delayed even then, but there was no way to spoil the results. I didn't know that gay people even existed at 10. I didn't even know that I was one of them because I had no real frame of reference for what I felt.

So, now onto to my first crush on a boy. Or rather, I should say: a fictional boy. Back when there were far less than than 500 channels, one's after school TV choices were limited. Channel 10 (at the time, CBS) had Gene London, a live studio show that I never really cared for. Channel 6 (ABC) had "Pixanne," who played cartoons, but was really for younger kids. VHF Channel 48 had "Bozo"* and classic Warner Brothers' Looney Tunes; Hannah Barbera and MGM cartoons: Bugs; Daffy; Elmer; Snagglepuss; Doggie Daddy; Quick Draw McGraw and Tom and Jerry. But VHF channel 17 had Wee Willy Webber, the go-to guy for anime and kaiju (not that those terms were even known here, then) shows. "Ultraman;" "Gigantor;" "Astro Boy;" "Kimba, the White Lion" and "Speed Racer."

Young Uncle P loved all of these shows and I knew and loved all the characters. But then... there was a special Two Part "Speed Racer" where Speed and Racer X (secretly Speed's supposedly dead brother) are in race through a South American rain forest (don't ask me why, I don't remember). What I do remember is at the end of Part I, Speed crashed the Mach Five and had to make his way through the jungle in a torn shirt. Then, in Part II, Speed's shirt had literally disintegrated and he was shirtless. And I... well, I wanted to be in that animated jungle helping cartoon Speed (and maybe even kissing his boo-boos). Again, at the time, I had no idea what those feelings meant. But that episode has stuck with me all these years, though it wasn't until much later that I managed to put those particular pieces together in a very "Aha!" kind of moment.

The summer before high school was when I knew for sure and it was my then best friend who helped me figure it out. It was my high school Theatre and Accelerated English teacher (a lovely and brilliant man who has created the top-rated high school theatre program in the country) who was the first adult to recognize, acknowledge and tell me that it was okay to be gay. He also taught me more about theatricality than any professor I ever had (not to disparage any of the men and women who have taught me over the years).

I was pretty much out to most of my friends in college, though I sometimes (like many of us) eased them into it by telling them I was bi-sexual, first. I came out to my mother and sister rather late in life, both of whom already knew (they always do) and both of whom still love me exactly the same as they always had before I told them. Of course, at Uncle P's age, one doesn't give a Jolly Roger what anyone thinks (except you, faithful readers - and even then... ). I've never had to actually come out at my current Day Job. People just kind of figured it out for themselves and completely accepted it and me as a package; far more interested in how I do my job than who I love.

I know that at least a few of you folks play for my team (or at least lend your athletic support). So I really am hoping for some responses to my questions, tonight. 

First - gay or straight, who was your first crush? It can't be any more embarrassing than a Japanese cartoon character (and yes, Betty; Veronica; Betty and Wilma count, but so does Racer X).

Second - When did you know for certain that you were gay or straight? 

Third and Fourth - If you are LGBT, when did you come out and how has your life gotten better (or - though I hope not - worse) since you did?

Please leave your answers in the comments! Meanwhile, if you are reading this and still struggling with coming out, or want to know how much coming out is a good thing, please watch this (via):

More, anon.
Prospero

*One day I MUST relate the story of my sister and I appearing on "Bozo" - Uncle P's Television Debut!

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More Movie Nonsense

Okay. Enough ranting for a while. I hope everyone had a terrific Pride weekend. Sadly, I attended only one official event this year - I was just too booked.

Anyway - let's get back to movie nonsense, shall we?

Fellow blogger and gay horror fan, JA over at MyNewPlaidPants, was going to the Asian Film Festival this weekend, in NYC. I posted my jealously on his blog because he got to see a movie I will have to wait to see on DVD, Vampire Girl VS Frankenstein Girl. I have posted about this outrageously gory and ridiculously plotted film before, but I came across some new footage a while back and have been just too damned busy to post it.

Just like the kaiju movies of the 50's and 60's, modern Asian horror seems to revel in being way over-the-top. Watching the trailers for VGVFG is like watching a cross between Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Andy Warhol's Dracula and I Survived a Japanese Game Show. It even manages to satirize Japan's obsession with suicide. Creepy, weird, gory and surreal, today's Japanese horror has moved away from the creepy and inexplicable terrors of Ringu (The Ring) and Kairo (Pulse) and onto the explicit (if ridiculous) gore of films like Machine Girl and Ghost VS Alien.

So, below you will find the newest clip (albeit a few weeks old) from Vampire Girl vs. Dracula Girl. Fair warning - it's weird, sick and filled with shots of spurting blood, bloody skulls and extreme wrist-cutting. Can't say you weren't warned...

I'm still waiting to hear what JA thought.

By the way - I'm getting new ink on my left calf for my upcoming birthday (D and I are going together), and I'll be posting a few different versions of what I have in mind and putting them up for vote. I can't promise that I'll actually end up with what you guys choose, but it will most definitely have an influence on my final decision.

And just in case I forget to say so, I hope you have a fabulous Holiday weekend this 4th.

More, anon.

Prospero

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