Showing posts with label Conspiracies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conspiracies. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2013

Nope! He's a-No Longer de Pope!**

Insert The Omen Theme Here
My Day Job Co-Worker: "The Pope's stepping down!"

Uncle P: "He never should have stepped up."

Other Co-Worker: "You got that right! He should never have been Pope in the first place." 

The single most unpopular Pope in modern history*, Pope Benedict today announced that he is resigning due to his age and health. He is the first Pope to resign in over 400 years. Of course, Benedict had a hard act to follow. John Paul II was the most beloved Pope in modern history; a charismatic man who survived an assassination attempt and exuded kindness. Benedict, an honestly creepy old man with Draconian values turned out to be not only horrendously homophobic but complicit in covering up sexual abuse while a bishop in Germany. Corruption, depravity and hypocrisy are nothing new in the Catholic Church. Perverts, pederasts and murderers have all been Pope, many times over. Of course today, shaman and fakirs hold much less power over rationalism and people aren't afraid to tell the truth, especially when those they were supposed to be able to trust, violated them so personally and so horribly.

Such an historic announcement certainly seems to me to have deeper and exceptional significance in the secret annals of the Vatican vaults. I truly believe that there is a secret being buried that is so explosive, the Church would never recover should it get out. 

Now you know me. I'm hardly a conspiracy nut. But if any organization has reason to conspire a cover-up. it's the Holy Roman Catholic Church. No, I'm not suggesting that that ridiculous DaVinci novel is true. Or that Beyonce's flashing of an Illuminati sign at the Superbowl was the signal to take German Joe down. Of course, Pat Robertson would have you believe 'Nemo' (I still think that's a stupid name for a storm, Jules Verne be damned) is punishment for the states which approved Marriage Equality in November. Hey, Pat. 'Nemo' is nature's punishment for us abusing the environment, ya douche.

Many LGBT groups are happy to see Benedict go. 'Other Co-Worker' predicted we will see a Pope of color next, citing several Brazilian Cardinals on the "short list." Okay. Still, no one should get too excited about real progress in the Church any time soon. The Cardinals are still all a bunch of old men, obsessed with sex because they aren't supposed to have it. What's that saying about the deliciousness of forbidden fruit? Absurd doesn't even begin to cover it.

Secular society will move forward first, and the Church will eventually follow in another generation or two (they'll have to, if they want to remain relevant to the few remaining followers they'll have by then). People are still afraid to let go of superstition, though the tide is turning toward rationalism and reason. It amazed me to see how freeing it was to do so. Life is too short and too precious to worry about what happens later. What matters is now. 

I can't stress this enough: If you are living a lie because some religious leader told you that you were evil; if you are afraid of what people will think of you; if you think your family will abandon you... the worst thing that's going to happen to you is going to happen to every single one of us, no matter what we do. Why not enjoy the very brief gift we've been given to its fullest? Don't hide your light under a bushel (you should pardon the reference, no matter how relevant). Come out and love the life you deserve with someone who deserves your love.

And the next time you complain when you can't get cell-phone reception, think about the kid in some refugee camp who can't get enough food to keep the cramps away. 

Don't live your life the way someone else tells you should. Live it in the way you know you should. Live the way that brings joy to you, those that you love and those who love you back. They are the only ones who matter. Trust me.

So, maybe this video is the big secret. Or the one below:



Oh, how love crazy people. I have no doubt the Pope is evil. Just not in the way these nutjobs have concluded. Benedict is evil in the way that all people who perpetrate mythology as truth; homophobia as righteous and hate as love, are evil.

You have no power here. Begone, before someone drops a house on you!

More, anon.
Prospero

*You gotta be pretty bad to be less popular than a Nazi sympathizer.

**Once a Musical Theatre Geek, always a Musical Theatre Geek
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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A Very Sad 'Reality' TV Celebrity Meltdown

Soft Porn... er... "Reality'" star Tila Tequila
Regular readers know how I feel about most so-called "reality TV." Manipulated by writers and producers and edited to provide the most salacious content possible, it is about as far from reality as Grimm's Fairy Tales.

The increasingly stupid populace at large just eats this crap up, and since it's much cheaper to produce than scripted shows, the networks keep pumping it out, ad nauseum. I know what I know about reality shows mostly from reading entertainment blogs and watch "The Soup" on E!. The phenomenon only serves to produce temporary celebrities who will be forgotten as soon as they and their publicists have run out of ways to exploit them.

Tila "Tequila" Nguyen is a Eurasian Penthouse and Maxim model who became semi-famous because of her MTV 'reality' dating show "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." A self-proclaimed bisexual, Tila has gone on to be a singer in two bands; the owner of now defunct dating website and the 'fiancee' of the late Johnson & Johnson heiress, Casey Johnson, who passed away from diabetic ketoacidocis in 2009. In an infamous 2010 incident, Tila was pelted with rocks, bottles and feces while appearing as an opener at an Insane Clown Posse concert.In March of this year, she went into rehab after attempting suicide by overdosing on pills.

Since then, she's kept a pretty low profile - until recently. Apparently, artificial fame has proven too much for the poor thing and she has taken to posting videos on YouTube in which she claims the Illuminati are conspiring to kill her for exposing their secrets. Yes, you read that correctly. The Illuminati. You know, the super secret society (a purported left-over of the Knights Templar) who supposedly run the world by manipulating governments, corporations, banks and the Free Masons.

Man, I love a good conspiracy theory. I love it even more when it is espoused by an obviously insane semi-celebrity desperate to remain relevant and in the news. The video below is almost as funny as the ones posted by the folks who believe the world is being run by reptilian aliens. Except none of these folks are really funny. Just sad. So very, very sad. You can skip around the clip without really missing anything - none of it makes any sense at all.



And that's just one of two videos she's posted on the subject. It's a shame, because she's actually adorable and could have a real career as a performer if she got her act together. I just want to bring her home and give a good home-cooked meal, administer some much-needed thorazine and rock her to sleep. Or slap the silly beotch about 30 or 40 times until she comes to her senses. 

Wow - that may well be what I need to snap me out of my recent funk.

Call me, Tila. I can help you. All you need is a dose of real reality.

More, anon.
Prospero


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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Bat-Sh*t Craziest Thing You'll See This Week


Did you know that our World Leaders are really part of a Reptilian and Draconian conspiracy to enslave the Human Race and take over Earth for their own nefarious purposes?  Neither did I. I mean, I thought that ABC's "V" was Science Fiction. Turns out, it's all true. How do I know? Because of people like Colleen Thomas, who in the first video below, has a perfectly rational explanation for the "mysterious" rocket plume seen in southern California, yesterday. 

I came across the video this morning on BoingBoing, and at first found it hilarious. Then I watched it twice more and suddenly found it sad and disturbing. Watch for yourself, and we'll discuss, afterward:



Colleen seems perfectly calm and rational at first (despite the leopard-print jacket and over-processed hair  color). And while she remains calm, all rationally flies out the window as she talks about the Plieadeans stopping the UN from trying to bomb Iran from Los Angeles. How the reporter on the other end of the phone kept from laughing hysterically, is beyond me. Perhaps he or she was just as fascinated/appalled as I am.

Sadly, Colleen is not alone in her delusions. There are plenty of people who believe this kind of nonsense. David Icke is one of the more popular proponents of these wacko conspiracy theories. Here's one his videos:



Icke has written best-selling books and speaks all over the world, spouting his bizarre message to anyone who will listen. What's scary to me is that people like Icke and Thomas are now on the Internet, spreading their mental disease to those fragile people out there who are more than willing to believe them. 

A few years ago, the CBS procedural "C.S.I." had a storyline that dealt with this very subject, and I honestly thought they'd made the whole thing up:



Art imitates life? Maybe. But when the life being imitated is so scarily effed up, it must make one take pause. Believers say these reptilian invaders are all around us, and have assumed positions of political power world-wide. Really? I mean, really? (OK - maybe that last link is right on the money). Still, when "hundreds of thousands of people" think that space geckos are plotting to annihilate the human race in 2012, it may well be time to prepare hundreds of thousands of padded cells. Or call in the space mongooses.

Until such a time, stay vigilant and keep your small pets away from your local council members:

 

More, anon.
Prospero
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