November isn't just about Thanksgiving and Turkeys. Just as October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (pink ribbons everywhere you look), November has been dubbed "Movember" for Men's Health Awareness Month (the Mo comes from Mustache, which men aren't supposed to shave instead of wearing a pink ribbon).
Uncle P is a traditionalist and wears the goatee he's worn for twenty years because a) I look ridiculous without it and b) it helps define my face. The only time I shave it is if I have to for a show. The last time it came off was last for three weeks in April 2012 to play Edna is Hairspray. And that was the first time in a very long time.
Unlike my Dear D and a few other hirsute gentlemen like myself, I don't have a magically regenerating beard (D get's an 11:30 AM shadow), nor nearly the thickness of facial hair to engage in anything fancy, like the Batstaches below:
Of course, some men have made their mustaches their trademarks:
And while some guys can really rock facial hair:
Other guys fail really well at it:
This Guy is the Real Dracula?
If Theodore Geisel had Been a Barber
Prince Justin D'Bague of Douchylvania
Of course, if you're really good at it, you might end up as a contestant in a beard and mustache competition like these weirdos:
Whether or not you shave this month is really irrelevant to me. What's not is our health. Yes, I said ours. Without you, I have no one to write for. Without me... well, who am I kidding? You'll find another blogger... or whatever is going to replace the format, eventually. Anyway...
Gentlemen, check yourselves for testicular, prostate and breast cancer (yes, men get breast cancer) regularly. If you are over 40 get a regular prostate exam and regular colonoscopies should start at 50. You get one body, guys. You should know it well enough to know when something's wrong. For more information, visit Movember United States. You can also donate money there towards men's health initiatives, including mental health groups. I'm not one to talk, but eat right (I really try and am getting better at it); sleep well (always an issue for me); move - if you can't outright exercise, just get up and walk around; stretch; wiggle; chair-dance; whatever - move!; stay in touch with friends and family and make time for them more often than you think you can.
Just promise you won't try to grow a 'stache if it's going to look like the douche canoe in that last photo.
More, anon. Prospero
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I still haven't seen Man of Steel and I'm hoping that's a good thing. Potential disappointment would have far less impact on the small screen. And while not particularly a fan of Ben Affleck as the Batman (Dare Devil was not entirely his fault), I am very dubious of the announced Batman/Superman movie of 2015, which should be the lead in for DC's Justice League movie. Though many fans (myself included) think there should be a few more origin films before leaping right into JLA. There's both The Flash and Aquaman (the latter often being the least popular member of the JLA) and then there is Princess Diana of Themyscira* AKA Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman.
*Formerly known as Paradise Island.
Created in the 1940's Wonder Woman (like many superheroes of the era) fought both Axis enemies and supervillians. She is an Amazon Princess with great strength, agility and courage. Her golden lasso forces anyone tied up in to tell the truth and her lighting reflexes & deflector bracelets keep her safe from gunfire. Oh. She has an invisible plane. She's gone through many changes over the years and like most superheroes has had some pretty outrageous story-lines. In a recent series, she was endowed with power by the Earth spirit Gaea, making her one of the most physically powerful DC characters, after Superman.
Those of us old enough to do so, remember the very cheesy TV series starring Lynda Carter in a pair of blue Depends and the devilishly handsome Lyle Waggoner:
I never understood the point of an invisible plane if we can still see her. Of course, by Season 3, the opening credits lost the comic-book style animation and pro-women's rights lyrics in favor of instrumentals over action shots from the previous two seasons:
Since then, there have been several aborted attempts at a Wonder Woman feature and Direct-to-DVD animated movie, as well as a failed TV pilot from David E. Kelly with Adrianne Palicki ("Friday Night Lights") in the title role. The new costume didn't help.
Adrianne Palicki Fail
Earlier tonight, a friend shared the following on Facebook and I read it and watched it and thought "Yes! this is exactly how to do it!" A production company called Rainfall Films has put together a "concept clip" of how they think Wonder Woman should be made as a film. It certainly seems to fall into the more naturalistic DC Universe created by Chris Nolan's Batman films and perpetrated by Zack Snyder in Man of Steel. And while we don't really get a sense of her acting skills, "Fitness Model/Actor/Unicorn" Rileah Vanderbilt certainly fits the bill physically.
I also like how they've structured the piece with a relevant flashback with decent (if seen-before) CGI effects. Watch the clip for yourself and I'll be back with a few more comments. I recommend watching on Full Screen with the volume on:
Wow! Now THAT's a Wonder Woman for the 21st Century. The costume is perfect Amazon Warrior and the action is fun and exciting with that gritty Nolanesque (yes, I just created a new director-named adjective) attitude and I much prefer her ability to fly over the invisible plane.
What say you, fellow geeks? Would you see this version of Wonder Woman? Because yer damned Skippy, I would!
More, anon. Prospero
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Uncle P is currently the victim of some sort of plant poison. I doubt it's poison ivy as a particularly bad bout with it as a child left me immune. The weeds, vines and unwanted tees growing along my neighbors' fences which surround my back yard (or 'garden' for my UK, NZ ad AU readers) are incredibly varied and often unidentifiable.
I know there's lots of Rose of Sharon, Honeysuckle and Briar, though there are dozens more growing over, through and under the various fences surrounding my property. If you follow me regularly, you know I am still in the process of cleaning up the debris left by my well-intentioned BIL in May. I suspect it is during this clean-up that I contracted whatever it is that has left my ankles, left thigh and left arm with angry, itchy and downright nasty red rashes which are driving me insane.
Yes, I am using both cortisone cream for the itch and a product recommended by both a dear friend and my local pharmacist to stop the rash's spread. Both are helping, but neither seems to be curing. Every time I think one of the rashes is healing, another one appears on a new limb or a new area of an already affected limb. It burns. It itches. It's ugly. I hate it.
One week from today, Uncle P will be visiting Chicago for both business and vacation. I'll be meeting up with at least two dear friends and hopefully having some non-committed fun (if you know what I mean - nudge, nudge, wink,wink) and I certainly hope these rashes are long gone before then. I don't consider myself a 'Prize' by any means and this unfortunate turn of events certainly doesn't help to upgrade my desirability.
Honestly, I think my life could be included in the Lemony Snicket books, "A Series of Unfortunate Events." Every time I think things are going well, something comes along to say "Eff You and Your Life!" Of course, this is nothing more than a "First World Problem" or a "White Whine." I know there are people in the world with far worse problems than an uncomfortable rash. It still seems like these kinds of nuisances pop up at the worst possible times...
Of course, I could just be a whiny d-bag who doesn't appreciate how good my life is, compared to many. I'll leave that up to you to decide. In the meantime, I'll be doing my best not to scratch.
At least I know this isn't the issue (nor will it ever be):
More, anon. Prospero
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Personally, I have never attended (and don't really hope to do so) a kiki. Made popular by the Scissor Sisters' single Let's Have a Kiki(link may contain NSFW content), a kiki is a small, impromptu party with close friends, or something. There may be catwalk modelling involved. Or Ecstasy. Something.
So, in case I haven't mentioned it before, part of my not-so-secret geekery includes Super Heroes. I'm a DC kid (though Spider-Man was fun). I think it had to do with the characters' secret identities. In public, I'm an upstanding, everyday citizen (except for the billionaire part, of course). Behind a mask, I get to wear tights and a cape and express who I really am. Gee -- I wonder why gay kids identify with Super Heroes?
As a child, I was Batman for Halloween 3 years in a row. I used to tie a towel around my neck and ride by "Batcycle" (really a Schwinn "Pea-Picker" with a banana seat; wide handle bars and a sissy-bar for a passenger) down the street, singing "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah..." And no, I am hardly ashamed to admit this. Many of you know you did something similar.
There's certainly nothing new about the homoerotic connotations in the relationship between Bruce Wayne/Batman and Dick Grayson/Robin. They sleep in the same bed, for eff's sake! And there's tons of fan art imagining much more going on between the hero and his sidekick.
Of course, comedian Jonny McGovern has his own ideas about Batman; his voice and what he's like when drinks too much(language NSFW):
There are rumors that Warner/DC's announced 2015 Justice League film is in trouble. The latest script is supposed to be a disaster and not a single actor has been signed. Personally, I think we'll need a Wonder Woman movie and a Flash movie, first. And a Green Lantern sequel that isn't a mess of ideas without anything to really tie them all together. And really, why hasn't there been a Wonder Woman movie, already? Sheesh!
More, anon. Prospero
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Really? Another blog post from a movie geek about gay comics? Please... But let this play out. You know I have my own take on things. And this post is actually more for myself a few other fanboy friends. You all know who you are, Stephen; Aaron; Tom; Murph; Chino, Bill M. If you don't get it or can't identify, don't feel bad. I still love that you check in every now and then. So let's talk about comics, shall we?
The comics I read as a kid were Creepy, Eerie and Vampirella from Warren Publications. I know you are hardly surprised by this. The great thing about Warren was, they got around the infamous Comics Code by calling their comics "magazines" and publishing them in an 8"x11" format. The children of the original Tales from the Crypt, the Warren horror comics were dark and weird and silly and often had gorgeous covers from artists like Frank Frazetta. My friends and I would by them from Bob's Bookstore at 5 Points. Bob sold new and used books and comics. He also sold illegal half-cover comics, 10 for $1.00. My personal love of superheroes comes more from TV and movies than from the comics. I didn't discover most of their comic-book personae until I'd seen some other medium's version. And while their is plenty to love about the Marvel Universe, I will always prefer DC Characters. I may have mentioned a few times how many times I was Batman for Halloween (not to mention just playing in the yard with a big bath sheet tied around my neck). And don't even talk to me about tearing up at certain points during the good Superman movies. Yes, I really loved just about every Marvel movie in the past few years (Thor being the exception), but the DC characters are more... pained, I guess. Yes, even Superman - Kal-El is an alien, after all. The LGBT community as a whole may identify more with Marvel's X-Men (and I certainly do, to some extent), but DC's tortured souls speak to me differently. Anyway...
Bill M. is also a DC guy. Bill's love of Superman is equal to mine of Batman. Bill and I met this past spring and quickly found out we love many of the same things and have been posting all kinds of Superhero nonsense on each other's Facebook timelines. Many of our friends have caught on and also post similar things to both of us. Today, sweet Stephen in Portland posted a picture of some hand-painted Christmas ornaments with the logos of several superheroes. Well and good, until my friend Aaron asked "What is Cap(tain America) doing with all those DC characters?" I looked at thepicture again. Yup. Batman; Superman; Flash, Green Lantern (all DC) and Captain America (Marvel). "I didn't make them," I replied, "but the thought of Cap and Bats is pretty hot."
Aaron then linked to the cover for a DC/Marvel crossover with Batman and Captain America joining forces. "No Rule 34" he said. So of course, Uncle P, being the dirty old bear that I am, went looking for Rule 34. And man, is there lots of it!
I'm not sure if that's Brandon or Tom (maybe Tom's head on Brandon's body?) in that composite on the left but it's definitely the work of a gay geek with some mad Photoshop skills and a dirty mind. I personally don't see this particular pairing as very probably in a gay cross-over story. Most of the fan-made gay superhero stuff online is in the form of paintings and drawings (and plenty of 'shopping), usually deliberately done in the style of an established comics artist. Here are a few I found:
Why Does Superman Look So Surprised?
Gay Emo Superboy
Who the Hell Are These Guys?
Of course this fascination with turning established characters gay is hardly new:
Highly Illogical
Oh, Mr. Frodo!
Malfoy Has a Magic Wand
Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight
It's obvious that the fans want what the fans want. Give us some more hot gay boys, Hollywood! We've grown up since Brokeback Mountain. Of course it could all explode in our faces. Fan fiction also gave us"Fifty Shades of Gray" {violent shudder of revulsion}. I have lots more to say about this subject, but that's for another post.
I will say that 20 years ago, I wouldn't have written a piece like this (indeed, many of the pieces I've written). LGBT acceptance has grown beyond what I ever thought I'd see in my lifetime, and the comics were at the forefront of inclusion, long before many people even noticed. Both Marvel and DC have LGBT characters driving major story lines. Even the wholesome Archie Comics introduced Kevin Keller, an out and proud Military Officer, who married his African American partner Clay Walker this past January. Progress is slow, until it happens all at once. We're getting there.
Of course, there's nothing wrong in finding the humor in all it:
More, anon. Prospero
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I read exactly one other review of Christopher Nolan's final Batman film, The Dark Knight Rises, and while it was surprisingly spoiler free (as I will do my best to be), it was basically a full-on rave. The bad news is that The Dark Knight Rises is not better than The Dark Knight. The good news is that it is at least as good.
Eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, Gotham City is celebrating 'Harvey Dent Day' and the Dent Act which basically allowed the GPD to lock up every organized criminal in Gotham, making the city relatively safe for all it's citizens. Of course, this is eating away at Police Commissioner Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman), who knows the truth: Dent (Aaron Eckhart) was insane and Batman took the fall for his crime spree. Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) has become a recluse, his body so damaged that he has to walk with a cane. At a party celebrating Dent on the Wayne estate, cat burglar Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway) disguises herself as a maid and manages to steal not only Bruce's mother's pearls, but his finger prints, which she then sells to men working for the nefarious mercenary, Bane (Tom Hardy) in exchange for a program that will supposedly erase her record and allow her to start fresh. Meanwhile, Green Earth maven Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard) has been trying to meet with Wayne about his long-mothballed nuclear fission reactor, which she believes will save the planet. Officer John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) has sussed that Wayne is Batman and implores him to return to take back the city from Bane. Much to the dismay of trusty Alfred (Michael Caine), Wayne once again takes up the cape and the cowl, to save the city he loves. To give away more would spoil too much, so I'll leave the complicated plot there.
There is much to admire in Nolan's third and final outing with The Batman, including a story line that ties all three films together; characters (both new and old) who are full of surprises and probably some the franchise's best performances. Hardy (who spends 99% of the movie with his face covered by a mask) is a massive, hulking villain who isn't always understandable but who manages to convey evil through his eyes quite well. Bane, a disciple and successor to Ra's Al Ghul (Liam Neesom in a hallucinatory cameo), plans to finish what his master started and destroy Gotham completely. Hathaway, in one of the best performances I've seen her give, plays a different Catwoman than we've seen before. Rocking a catsuit complete with razor-heeled boots and a mask whose visor flips up to become ears, Hathaway's Selina Kyle is a repentant criminal who wants to get out and move on with her life, but just isn't able to do so. She shows great range here, playing everything from tough-as-nails to scared-as-hell with a seeming effortlessness that both surprised and delighted me. But probably the best performance belongs to Gordon-Levitt as Blake. Strong and smart, his Blake is a man whose admiration for everything for which Batman stands drives him to be a better person and this performance is the one that most people will talk about when they think of the future mega-star's first great role. The rest of the cast is fine and the audience we saw it with were thrilled to see Cillian Murphy return once again in a cameo as Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow. And I was pleased to see both Matthew Modine as Police Chief Foley and Nestor Carbonell as Gotham's gorgeous Mayor.
The script, by Nolan and his brother Jonathan is smart, often funny and filled with plot-twists that literally had at least one of my companions (okay, it was Q) gasp and often made the audience cheer and applaud in delight, especially near the end. The action sequences and FX are nothing short of spectacular and Nolan manages to make several cities (including Pittsburgh and Newark) look like one. Hans Zimmer's soaring score is just about perfect while Lindy Hemming's often elegant costumes are both practical and effective. The film's two hour and thirty-four minute running time flew by and I was actually sorry to see it end. Nolan has once again delivered Uncle P a most excellent bi-annual birthday present. **** (Four Out of Four Stars). The Dark Knight Rises is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of violence and action, some sensuality and language." Personally, I do NOT recommend this film for children under 10.
Finally, just a note about movie courtesy. Put your damned cell phones away! If you can't live without looking at your effing phone for a couple of hours, stay the hell home! D became concerned when I voiced my dismay to a nearby patron, who looked at her phone at least once every five minutes. That light in the corner of my eye was extremely distracting and exceptionally rude, and I just couldn't keep quiet about it a minute longer. The young lady did oblige, thought not with out sighing heavily. Seriously, I didn't pay $12.00 to be distracted by your phone display, a-hole!
Since I posted the latest trailer last night, here's a parody trailer I found amusing:
Oh, and we saw the teaser for Zack Snyder's Superman movie, Man of Steel:
Snyder's last movie was awful, but Nolan is producing, so who knows what we'll get. I still have issues with new costume design.
More, anon.
Prospero
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A movie theater is a place where you are supposed to be able to escape the horrors of real life for a couple of hours. The lights dim, you sit back and (hopefully) enjoy 90 or more minutes of escapism, far from the madding crowd...
But early this morning, at 2:39 AM Eastern Time, a madman (identified as James Holmes, a former med student, originally from San Diego) opened fire on a Colorado audience who were enjoying the midnight premier of The Dark Knight Rises, the final installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy. Holmes was quickly apprehended and reportedly told police "I'm the Joker." When police went to Holmes' apartment, they found it booby-trapped with "incendiary devices." As of this writing, a motive for Holmes' actions has yet to established (or at least, announced). Neighbors describe Holmes as "a loner."
I already have tickets to see TDKR for tomorrow night, along with D; K; Q and Dale. We're seeing it at an AMC, which has announced that they have instituted a new policy prohibiting costumes, masks and replica weapons. Personally, I'm not scared. Just as I wasn't scared to go to McDonald's after the 1984 incident in San Ysidro or enter a high school after the 1999 shooting spree at Columbine. Nor did I stop attending public events after Senator Gabrielle Giffords was gunned down in 2011.
Yes, these were all horrible, terrible, evil events. But I can't allow the actions of a few lunatics to stop me from living my life. Terrible, random things happen all the time. Auto accidents; earthquakes; tsunamis; tornadoes; hurricanes; floods; wildfires; lightning strikes; falling trees; terrorists flying airliners... the list goes on and on. And yes, they are all awful and tragic and very sad. But that's just life. Now, I don't want you to think that Uncle P is a callous bastard who doesn't empathize with the victims of such tragedies. Quite the opposite, in fact. My heart is broken every time I hear about something like this. So many futures cut short; so many families torn apart; so many loved ones lost.
But we can't live our lives in fear. Hell, if I worried about everything that could kill me, I might never leave my house. And what good does that do anyone? I could fall down the stairs or slip in the shower or get electrocuted by a faulty lamp. Broken toes or arrests for public lewdness only serve to prove that we are alive. Face it - the worst thing that is ever going to happen to you is going to happen, no matter what. Whether it's at the hands of lunatic or while asleep in our own beds, there is no escaping the inevitable.
Keep going to the movies. Keep riding roller coasters. Keep sky-diving. Truly live your life as though today is the last, because it very well may be. But never stop planning for the future. A life lived in fear is no life at all.
I'll post my review of The Dark Knight Rises as soon as I get home tomorrow night.
More, anon. Prospero
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It is 11:20 PM here on the East Coast of the U.S. and it's probably 85 degrees with high humidity and even sitting with two fans blowing on me, I am sweating like crazy. The Midwest and Northeast have been in the grip of an early heatwave all weekend long. For me, the 'Unofficial Start of Summer' has turned into the Official Start of Misery. of course, living in a valley doesn't help. The humidity just gets trapped, lingering around and making everyone miserable.
Those who know Uncle P well, know that I am a sweater (no, not this, which is referred to as a 'jumper' in the U.K. - who knows why). I am fine if it's just hot; I may glisten a bit or get darkened underarms. But add humidity and I am just a nasty, sweaty mess who may as well be a visual joke in an "Airplane!" movie. It's uncomfortable and embarrassing. People actually stare in horror as water literally pours down my face, soaking my shirts and making me look like some kind of insane, drowned rat. I am actually considering Botox injections in my forehead and scalp to alleviate the problem.
Of course, to add insult to injury, my main home AC unit refuses to turn on. I don't know if it's the unit itself, or the dedicated 220v outlet (yes, the breaker is on), so I don't know whether to call an HVAC guy or an electrician. So the ridiculous combination of late-May heat and humidity led to a rather inactive holiday weekend. I did go out to breakfast with K, Q and Dale this morning, though I promptly returned home to sit and veg out in front of the boob tube, while three fans worked to keep me as dry as possible. Thank goodness I added premium channels to my cable last week. At least I managed to keep my self entertained. And I know it's genetic. My maternal grandmother could stand naked in a blizzard and still perspire.I have been this way all my life and before you suggest it, I am not diabetic nor do I have any of the other conditions or diseases associated with excessive perspiration. It's just the unluck of the draw...
If the rest of the summer is anything like this past weekend, I'll probably be a dried-out husk by late July, having rendered all by bodily fluids into a disgusting, sweaty puddle long before my birthday. Damn! I really wanted to see The Dark Knight Rises, too. Maybe my friends will be kind enough to prop my mummified corpse in a corner of the theater when they go to see it.
More, anon. Prospero
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