How Do You Politely Tell Someone...

Would You Like a Tissue?

So, like most of us, I am closer to some coworkers than others. There are a few to whom I can say just about anything and a few to whom I can say some things. Even fewer are those to whom I don't speak at all, and mainly that's because they refuse to smile or even make eye contact when passing in a corridor or juggling to use the microwave. These folks keep their eyes to floor and don't really interact with anyone outside their own departments. They're often weird and socially inept and I've given up on trying to be friendly, simply because they refuse to do so in return. If you work for a moderate or large corporation, then you know exactly the kind of folks I'm talking about.

Then there are those with whom I don't work directly, but exchange smiles and polite "Hellos" when  our paths do cross. Some of them I know by name and others just from seeing around. It was one these co-workers I met in the kitchen today. We both smiled and said "Hello" and we started the usual exchange of pleasantries. "Gorgeous day, isn't it?" 

"Beautiful. Couldn't ask for better."

"Too bad we're stuck in here, all day."

"Yeah. We should have laptops to work outside on days like this."

"That would be nice, wouldn't it?"

Then I noticed it. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it right away. Maybe it snuck out while we were chatting. But there it was: a rather large and particularly nasty booger hanging out of her left nostril, practically down to her upper lip. Horrified, I wasn't sure what to do. At first, I tried non-verbal cues - rubbing my own nose, sniffing loudly, etc. Finally, I grabbed a napkin and blew my own nose, even though I didn't have to.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Um... yeah, thanks." 

Finally, I just couldn't stand it any longer. "Um... you  might want to grab a tissue or something."

She reached up and felt what I had been trying to avoid telling her about and was immediately horrified, herself. "Oh, God!" She turned bright red and reached for a napkin, turning away to wipe and blow. "Well," she said, after throwing the napkin in the trash, "that was embarrassing!"

"No, please. It happens to all of us. I'd rather be told about it than walk around all afternoon like that."

"Yeah, I guess so." 

We finished heating our food and getting our soft drinks and left. I have no idea what she thought of the encounter. I don't know her name. She hasn't been with the company more than a few months or so (or maybe she has and I just didn't notice her until the past few months). Now sadly, until I do learn her name, she will remain "Booger Girl" to me. And even if I find out her proper name, she'll still be Jane, Joan, Jill, Sally, Millie or Betty the Booger Girl. Forever and ever. Amen. And our future encounters will always have that awkward "booger moment" which we'll never acknowledge, unless we end up being great friends somewhere down the road. Then we'll laugh about it when we reminisce about the day I told her she had a big booger hanging out of her nose. Or maybe I'm just romanticizing the whole thing (if 'romanticizing' can even be applied in this situation). Whatever.

BTW - There is always that co-worker who walks around the office picking his or her nose with abandon, finger shoved up there two knuckles deep, distending the nostril to twice (or even three times) it's normal size. Usually this is one of those socially inept people I was talking about earlier. They don't know how dress, don't comb their (often unwashed) hair and usually wear far too much cheap cologne. Avoid that person at all costs. 

And if you are a co-worker of mine reading this post, please don't ask me who "Booger Girl" is. I'm not about to tell. I was raised to be a gentleman, after all.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Bullies, Haters and Fearmongers

So, 11 years after religious fanatics* decided to use commercial airliners to murder over 3,000 innocent people, have things really changed? Flying presents more of a hassle than it did before 9/11... But real change? 

Our troops are still being killed in Afghanistan in what has become the longest war in our nation's history. Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden are both dead, though Bashar al-Assad continues the wanton slaughter of his own people.  The so-called "Arab Spring" may have ousted a dictator in Egypt, only to have him replaced with a militaristic regime that is proving to be just as bad. The Taliban and al Qaeda continue to use religious fanaticism to indoctrinate their followers and incite them to violence.

And it's not just in the Middle East. Right here in the U.S., religious fanatics and extremists are using and abusing the Bible in their own bigoted campaign against the LGBT community. Today (via), I came across one of the most vile pieces of homophobic propaganda I have ever seen. Published by 'Mission America,' "What's all this fuss about something called 'gay?'" is one of the most bigoted and misleading documents I have ever seen. I won't quote from from it, because it literally makes me sick to my stomach, but you can read it here (don't say you weren't warned). 

Bullies and monsters aren't always dictators and oligarchs. They are quite often the folks people in need turn to for solace and advice. But when the advice turns out to be hateful bile and outright lies, is it any wonder people are confused? And how horrible must it be for a young gay person of faith to read this kind of crap? This kind of garbage is exactly why the suicide rate among young LGBTQ people is so high. 

One of my early boyfriends was an adorable Texan from a strict Baptist family. In fact, his brother was a preacher. After several months together, he suddenly grew fearful and broke up with me, citing his religious convictions. I later learned that he had hanged himself just two months later. I was not only angry, but profoundly sad that "God" had driven a bright, funny and endearing person to such depths of despair. It was also my first step toward Secular Humanism, though it would be a long time before I realized it.

I've said it before and I'll say again: Religion has been the cause of more war, pain, suffering and death than anything else in the history of mankind. "Believe what we tell you to, or suffer the consequences." 

Every child is born an atheist. That is until they are poisoned by the beliefs imposed upon them by their family. I'll leave it to a much better spoken person than I to explain what I mean. Here's Richard Dawkins' response to the question "What if you're wrong?":

I don't want to demean anyone for believing whatever it is they believe. I do want people to think about why they believe it and how they came to believe it and whether or not what they believe is morally correct (and yes, there is a HUGE difference between morality and religion). 

Bullies, haters and fearmongers will always want to rule over the ignorant and the superstitious. I hope that one day, none of those people will exist. Sadly, I fear that day is still a very long way away.

*You can use the word "terrorists" all you want, but their terrorism was the result of the exploitation of their religious fanaticism, pure and simple.

More, anon.
Prospero

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