Super Twink?

That's a new Superman action figure by Play Arts. It's part of something they call the Kai Variant Series. Now, while Uncle P remains an avid fan of  Superheroes, it has admittedly been many years since I've read any comics ("Watchmen;" "The Walking Dead" and "Chew" don't count). I think I was 13 the last time I read an issue of "Superman" or "Batman." And I know there have been changes in the timelines and weird revisions and alternate universes. I get it. But there are a few things I don't understand. 

First of all, why does Kal-El need any armor, let alone Samurai-inspired armor? Or is this some official military dress uniform on Krypton? Or is this some sort of Cyber-Kal-El, enhanced by advanced bionics (look at his wrists) after some terrible accident, far away from the yellow sun? Or is Superman visiting the planet Krull?

But I think what bothers me the most about this particular action figure is it's disproportionately tiny head, which makes Supes look like a 19 year old twink headed out to a gay cosplayer rave in Vegas.

Personally, I like my Supermen to be Henry Cavil hot, Christopher Reeve compassionate and Brandon Routh adorable, with just a dash of George Reeves cockiness -- hold the Nicolas Cage, thank you.Wow! Talk about impossible standards... No wonder I'm still single. (Not LOL'ing here... No, seriously, FML). Oh, wait. Superman is fictional, isn't he? Never mind, then.

Anyway...

As a gay child, I think I figured out pretty early that many superheroes were in fact, gay allegories, whether they were intended to be so, or not. Outsiders, different from everyone else for whatever reason, who decided or were compelled to stand up against evil and protect the good, all why wearing fabulous spandex costumes with capes and amazing accessories (at least three designers featured utility belts last month in Paris). Eventually, both DC and Marvel were ahead of the curve by featuring gay characters (don't ask me what's going at DC right now, though) and even Archie Comics, once owned by a Christian publishing company, has a gay character with his own title, Kevin Keller. 

And please, no comments about internalized homophobia. I don't hate twinks. I don't hate anyone. I feel very sorry for exceptionally ignorant and douchey a-holes who don't get that we're all in this together and we better figure out a way to make it work, or we're all doomed. I just hope I live long enough to witness their inevitable extinction. 

Anyway...

This was an odd post ending an odd day (long story). So let's perform one more amazing segue to tie all of this nonsense together with Shocktober, shall we? I still haven't decided what I'm going to be for Halloween this year, though my fall back is the amazingly easily-achieved "Middle-Aged Gay Man."  In case you're still stumped, here are some ideas for Superhero costumes from last year's NY ComiCon:

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Cosplay / Costumes / Gay / Halloween / Nonsense / Shocktober / Superheroes / Superman / The Gayest Thing with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/10/super-twink.html. Thanks!

The Wonder Woman Fans Deserve?

Rileah Vanderbilt as Diana Price/Wonder Woman

I still haven't seen Man of Steel and I'm hoping that's a good thing. Potential disappointment would have far less impact on the small screen. And while not particularly a fan of Ben Affleck as the Batman (Dare Devil was not entirely his fault), I am very dubious of the announced Batman/Superman  movie of 2015, which should be the lead in for DC's Justice League movie. Though many fans (myself included) think there should be a few more origin films before leaping right into JLA. There's both The Flash and Aquaman (the latter often being the least popular member of the JLA) and then there is Princess Diana of Themyscira* AKA Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman.

*Formerly known as Paradise Island.

Created in the 1940's Wonder Woman (like many superheroes of the era) fought both Axis enemies and supervillians. She is an Amazon Princess with great strength, agility and courage. Her golden lasso forces anyone tied up in to tell the truth and her lighting reflexes & deflector bracelets keep her safe from gunfire. Oh. She has an invisible plane. She's gone through many changes over the years and like most superheroes has had some pretty outrageous story-lines. In a recent series, she was endowed with power by the Earth spirit Gaea, making her one of the most physically powerful DC characters, after Superman. 

Those of us old enough to do so, remember the very cheesy TV series starring Lynda Carter in a pair of blue Depends and the devilishly handsome Lyle Waggoner:

I never understood the point of an invisible plane if we can still see her. Of course, by Season 3, the opening credits lost the comic-book style animation and pro-women's rights lyrics in favor of instrumentals over action shots from the previous two seasons:

Since then, there have been several aborted attempts at a Wonder Woman feature and Direct-to-DVD animated movie, as well as a failed TV pilot from David E. Kelly with Adrianne Palicki ("Friday Night Lights") in the title role. The new costume didn't help.

Adrianne Palicki Fail

Earlier tonight, a friend shared the following on Facebook and I read it and watched it and thought "Yes! this is exactly how to do it!" A production company called Rainfall Films has put together a "concept clip" of how they think Wonder Woman should be made as a film. It certainly seems to fall into the more naturalistic DC Universe created by Chris Nolan's Batman films and perpetrated by Zack Snyder in Man of Steel. And while we don't really get a sense of her acting skills, "Fitness Model/Actor/Unicorn" Rileah Vanderbilt certainly fits the bill physically.

I also like how they've structured the piece with a relevant flashback with decent (if seen-before) CGI effects. Watch the clip for yourself and I'll be back with a few more comments. I recommend watching on Full Screen with the volume on:

Wow! Now THAT's a Wonder Woman for the 21st Century. The costume is perfect Amazon Warrior and the action is fun and exciting with that gritty Nolanesque (yes, I just created a new director-named adjective) attitude and I much prefer her ability to fly over the invisible plane. 

What say you, fellow geeks? Would you see this version of Wonder Woman? Because yer damned Skippy, I would!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Batman / Christopher Nolan / Concept Trailers / DC Comics / Fake Trailers / Superheroes / Superman / The Justice League / Wonder Woman / Zack Snyder with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-wonder-woman-fans-deserve.html. Thanks!

A Game Changer

Henry Cavill as Kal-El

I am the first to admit to being dubious about Warner Brothers' reboot of DC's founding character with Zach Snyder's upcoming Man of Steel. It started a while back with the first pictures of the redesigned suit. Like many purists, I didn't like the loss of the red briefs, though the costume has grown on me a bit. Then I sort of balked at the casting of Henry Cavill. Why was  Brit playing an American icon? It would be like Ben Affleck playing James Bond. Then more pictures of Cavill as Clark Kent started showing up. A hairy-chested, bearded Kal El? (How the hell does a Kryptonian shave on Earth?) He was looking mighty fine, though.

Then the rest of the cast was announced. Amy Adams as Lois Lane? Okay, you've got my attention. I love Amy Adams. She's amazing. Laurence Fishurne as Perry White? Um.... sure, why not? As long as he isn't as creepy as he is on "C.S.I." and "Hannibal." . Oh, dear. Russell Crowe as Jor-El? Um.... um... Okay, I'll admit it. I despise Russell Crowe. I think he is an abominable person who doesn't deserve the fans he treats like crap. Wait, what? Kevin Costner as George Kent?  Seriously? Why does this hack still have a career? Oscar winner or not, Costner is a bad, bad actor. Diane Lane as Martha Kent? Isn't she too young? I mean, sure, I love her but when did she get old enough to play Martha Kent? It's like Winona Ryder playing Spock's mother in Star Trek. Weird. Oooh! Michael Shannon as General Zod sounds amazing.

The first trailer came out and fans were.... confused.

Hmmm. That was...  Oh, wait. I didn't realize Nolan was producing (before the teaser first came out). Okay. This has a chance of being better than Suckerpunch (though to be honest, almost anything had the same chance). Then came Teaser #2:

Well, that was... New Agey. Trailer #3 arrived with with Crowe, a look at Krypton and a few more hints.

Feeling a lot better, but still confused. Superman in handcuffs? More details leaked - No Kryptonite. In fact, Krypton was not destroyed. Kal-El was sent to Earth because he was an illegal natural child. Hmm.... Clark spends his early years afraid of who he is. Interesting. And the name Superman is merely alluded to but not used. David S. Goyer (Nolan's Batman trilogy) wrote the script. He's had more hits than misses, but this is tricky material. Sure, DC writers re-boot their lines all the time. But this is the greatest superhero of all time. There's some very deeply ingrained history with this character and Goyer is taking some major risks with a mythology origin that hasn't changed in 75 years. You guys better know what you're doing. I'll probably see it, but with a purist's eye and a romanticist's heart.

Then yesterday, this trailer hit the net and everything changed (watch FULL SCREEN!):

Damn!  Now that is the kind of big-screen; 3D; action-packed; 21st Century Superman movie the franchise needs. That trailer single-handedly changed Man of Steel's status from "Want to See" to "MUST See." I may want to be Batman, but I have have always been in love with Superman. It looks like Nolan and Snyder may well make me fall in love with the big gorgeous lug all over again!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Action Movies / Amy Adams / Bears / Christopher Nolan / Hans Zimmer / Henry Cavill / Hot / Movies / Must See / Superheroes / Superman / Trailers / Zack Snyder with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/05/a-game-changer.html. Thanks!

The Strangest Opera, Best Sci-Fi and Worst Superhero You'll See this Week

Oh, Hell No!

So, Uncle P has an honest to goodness date tomorrow night - my first in more than ten years! Yikes! I met T on "Compatible Partners," the site E-Harmony was compelled by the courts to create. T seems likes a nice, normal guy from our emails, texts and phone conversations. Of course, my breakup with Ric was rather devastating as I thought I had found the person with whom I was going to spend the rest of my life. Looking back, I'm actually glad that didn't work out as my life would have been very different had we stayed together.   

But that has little to do with tonight's post.

First up (via) comes this bizarre and rather entertaining video from tenor August Schram,who mixes realism, surrealism and kink to create this possibly NSFW video for the aria "Habanero" from Bizet's classic opera "Carmen:"

Of course, regular readers know how much of a geek I am when it comes to Horror, Sci-Fi and Fantasy. And as much as I really loved JJ Abrams' Star Trek reboot, I'm really looking forward to it's sequel: Star Trek: Into the Darkness. Here's a little "behind the scenes" video to whet our geeky appetites:

Last, but not least, new photos of wackadoo Nicholas Cage in test footage for Tim Burton's proposed (and happily aborted) "Superman Lives!" movie have surfaced, featuring Cage wearing a 'muscularly enhanced' Superman costume (see above photo via) Personally, I can't get past Cage's receding hairline. Superman should have super hair, no? Henry Cavill may not have been my first choice for the iconic American superhero, but Cage would certainly be my last. Thank goodness this film was never made. Poor little Cal-El Cage might never have lived down the embarrassment.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Bad Ideas / Dating / J.J. Abrams / Movies / Nonsense / Opera / sci-Fi / Star Trek / Superheroes / Superman / The Weirdest Thing with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-strangest-opera-best-sci-fi-and.html. Thanks!

The Geekiest Gay Love You'll See This Week (Possibly NSFW Edition)

XXX-Men

Really? Another blog post from a movie geek about gay comics? Please... But let this play out. You know I have my own take on things. And this post is actually more for myself a few other fanboy friends. You all know who you are, Stephen; Aaron; Tom; Murph; Chino, Bill M. If you don't get it or can't identify, don't feel bad. I still love that you check in every now and then. So let's talk about comics, shall we?

The comics I read as a kid were Creepy, Eerie and Vampirella from Warren Publications. I know you are hardly surprised by this. The great thing about Warren was, they got around the infamous Comics Code by calling their comics "magazines" and publishing them in an 8"x11" format. The children of the original Tales from the Crypt, the Warren horror comics were dark and weird and silly and often had gorgeous covers from artists like Frank Frazetta. My friends and I would by them from Bob's Bookstore at 5 Points. Bob sold new and used books and comics. He also sold illegal half-cover comics, 10 for $1.00. My personal love of superheroes comes more from TV and movies than from the comics. I didn't discover most of their comic-book personae until I'd seen some other medium's version. And while their is plenty to love about the Marvel Universe, I will always prefer DC Characters. I may have mentioned a few times how many times I was Batman for Halloween (not to mention just playing in the yard with a big bath sheet tied around my neck). And don't even talk to me about tearing up at certain points during the good Superman movies. Yes, I really loved just about every Marvel movie in the past few years (Thor being the exception), but the DC characters are more... pained, I guess. Yes, even Superman - Kal-El is an alien, after all. The LGBT community as a whole may identify more with Marvel's X-Men (and I certainly do, to some extent), but DC's tortured souls speak to me differently. Anyway...

Bill M. is also a DC guy. Bill's love of Superman is equal to mine of Batman. Bill and I met this past spring and quickly found out we love many of the same things and have been posting all kinds of Superhero nonsense on each other's Facebook timelines. Many of our friends have caught on and also post similar things to both of us. Today, sweet Stephen in Portland posted a picture of some hand-painted Christmas ornaments with the logos of several superheroes. Well and good, until my friend Aaron asked "What is Cap(tain America) doing with all those DC characters?" I looked at thepicture again. Yup. Batman; Superman; Flash, Green Lantern (all DC) and Captain America (Marvel). "I didn't make them," I replied, "but the thought of Cap and Bats is pretty hot."

Aaron then linked to the cover for a DC/Marvel crossover with Batman and Captain America joining forces. "No Rule 34" he said. So of course, Uncle P, being the dirty old bear that I am, went looking for Rule 34. And man, is there lots of it!

I'm not sure if that's Brandon or Tom (maybe Tom's head on Brandon's body?) in that composite on the left but it's definitely the work of a gay geek with some mad Photoshop skills and a dirty mind. I personally don't see this particular pairing as very probably in a gay cross-over story. Most of the fan-made gay superhero stuff online is in the form of paintings and drawings (and plenty of 'shopping), usually deliberately done in the style of an established comics artist. Here are a few I found:

Why Does Superman Look So Surprised?

Gay Emo Superboy

Who the Hell Are These Guys?

Of course this fascination with turning established characters gay is hardly new:

Highly Illogical

Oh, Mr. Frodo!

Malfoy Has a Magic Wand

Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight 

It's obvious that the fans want what the fans want. Give us some more hot gay boys, Hollywood! We've grown up since Brokeback Mountain. Of course it could all explode in our faces. Fan fiction also gave us "Fifty Shades of Gray" {violent shudder of revulsion}. I have lots more to say about this subject, but that's for another post.

I will say that 20 years ago, I wouldn't have written a piece like this (indeed, many of the pieces I've written). LGBT acceptance has grown beyond what I ever thought I'd see in my lifetime, and the comics were at the forefront of inclusion, long before many people even noticed. Both Marvel and DC have LGBT characters driving major story lines. Even the wholesome Archie Comics introduced Kevin Keller, an out and proud Military Officer, who married his African American partner Clay Walker this past January. Progress is slow, until it happens all at once. We're getting there.

Of course, there's nothing wrong in finding the humor in all it:

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Batman / Cartoons / Comics / Fan Fiction / Fantasy / Gay / Nonsense / NSFW / Superheroes / Superman / The Gayest Thing / X-Men with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-geekiest-gay-love-you-see-this-week.html. Thanks!

Popping Tentpoles

You have probably already seen at least one or two of the four full-length trailers for upcoming films which were released online today. I am on the fence about all of them. Two of them are potential franchise rebooters. One of them is from an original story from my second-to-least favorite (and most frustrating) modern director and the other is from the director of TRON: Legacy, written by and based on the graphic novel by the director. Of course, the downside of that good news is the star. But first things, first.

Return to us now, to those thrilling days of yester-year! A staple of radio and weekly film serials since the 1930's, The Lone Ranger was popular with Western-loving audiences right through the 1950's. Played in serials, films and on TV for many years by Clayton Moore, the Ranger's last incarnation was the miserable 1981 The Legend of the Lone Ranger starring Clinton Spilsbury in the title role and Michael Horse as Tonto. You might not remember Spilsbury because he never made another movie, ever. Horse has had an almost-make-a-living career ever since. Here's the trailer for that major misstep from Universal:

Today, Disney released the first full trailer for their reboot, starring hottie Armie Hammer as John Reid/The Lone Ranger and Johnny Depp as Tonto. I hate this idea, even more than I hated the idea for Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Of course, writer/director Gore Verbinski proved that at least one Pirates movie was a good idea. Still, Depp has begun to annoy me. As a 'star' who wants to keep a low profile, he sure does work a lot. Recently, for the same two directors, over and over again. This time, he has a dead crow on his head and does his best to create a non-stereotypical Native American accent:

Just once, I would love to see Depp in a film by almost anyone but Burton or Verbinski, playing an everyday Joe who doesn't have anything extraordinary happen to him. Hammer apparently has big feet, and we all know what that means... He's also rather gorgeous when cleaned up. While there is no trace of the William Tell Overture in the trailer, Jack White's score is sure to include it in some way.

Then there is Man of Steel, director Zack Snyder's reboot of Warner's and DC's Superman franchise, starring Henry Cavil as Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman. Along for the ride are Micheal Shannon; Amy Adams; Russell Crowe; Kevin Costner; Diane Lane: Laurence Fishburne; Christopher Meloni and Tamoh Penikett. Snyder's Watchmen was pretty good, though his last movie Sucker Punch was downright awful. But with producer Christopher Nolan and writer David S. Goyer on board, Man of Steel  could be just what the franchise needed, despite the silly new costume design and the lack of Brandon Routh:

Still hot but wacky Scientologist Tom Cruise returns to Sci-Fi in writer/director Joseph Kosinski's (who also wrote the graphic novel in which this film based) post-apocalyptic thriller Oblivion. Cruise plays a court-martialed soldier sentenced to repair droids on a decimated Earth, only to discover the planet isn't as deserted as once thought.

Finally, there's M. Night Shama --- no, I'm not going to do the joke name tonight. Every time I thought Shyamalon was about to redeem himself, he's failed me. Returning to Sci-Fi for the first time since Signs (the second and last film of his I liked), M Knight's latest sees Will Smith and son Jaden marooned on a future version of Earth which was abandoned by humans 1000 years earlier:

Oooh! Baboons and the return of Ice Age saber-tooths! How (not) exciting! Given Smith's record of late, I'll probably wait until this one's on Showtime.

I hope 2013 has better fare in store than most of these movies. What do you think? What movies are you looking to seeing in the coming year?

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article 2013 / Movies / sci-Fi / Superheroes / Superman / The Lone Ranger / Trailers with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/12/popping-tentpoles.html. Thanks!

O, Superman!

Smokin'!

In her 1981 single "O Superman," Laurie Anderson asks "Smoking... or non... smoking?" Personally, I prefer Smokin'! 

Celebrities have been in the news recently for more than just being good looking and/or talented.  Last summer, hottie Ryan Gosling (Drive) made headlines when he broke up a fight in Manhattan between a street artist and an accused thief by paying for the painting in question. 

That same month, zaftig beauty Kate Winslet was visiting Sir Richard Branson's mansion on his private Carribean island when a fire broke out. The Titanic star sprang into action and carried Branson's 90 year-old mother to safety.

Not one to be upstaged, earlier this month Gosling saved British journalist Laurie Penny from certain death in New York City by pulling her out of the path of an oncoming taxi. Penny, not used to right-side driving, looked the wrong way while crossing 6th Avenue. Gosling yelled "Hey, watch out!" and grabbed her before she could become yet another greasy smear on a Manhattan street.

Then this week, "Grey's Anatomy" star Patrick ('McDreamy') Dempsey pulled a teenager from his wrecked Mustang, right in front of the actor's home. Dempsey used a crowbar to get the kid out, probably saving his life. 

McDreamy

Now, not that I want to put myself in any real danger, but why can't I get rescued by a hot, handsome movie star? Maybe George Clooney could stop me from buying an unhealthy, cholesterol-laden popcorn at my local cineplex. Perhaps a shirtless Ryan Reynolds could lean in and make sure my seat belt was correctly fastened or a nearly-naked Chris Evans could save me from drowning in a dangerous undertow off the east coast of Florida. Or, best of all, Jason Statham could protect me from a mysterious cabal who wants me dead before I can reveal their plans to take over the world through some nefarious means. 

Needless to say, I'd be willing to show my gratitude to any one of these heroes in any number of ways... That is, of course, if Winslet stays home that day. It's not that I don't like her - she's just not my type, if you know what I mean.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Celebrity / Laurie Anderson / Music Video / Nonsense / Patrick Dempsey / Ryan Gosling / Superheroes / Superman with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/04/o-superman.html. Thanks!

No Sir, I Do Not Like It!

That's Henry Cavill (Immortals) in the new Superman suit (via). The cape was digitally added by a fan. And I have to be honest... I hate it. The colors are all wrong and what's up with that weird waistline? It looks like his crotch has an eye, for Christ's sake! 

I've been against Cavill's casting from the beginning. Why is a Brit playing the symbol of "Truth, Justice and the American Way?" This irks me to no end. And while Zack Snyder did a fine job with Watchmen, his last movie (Sucker Punch), while visually stunning, was a nonsensical, narrative mess. 

Personally, I loved Bryan Singer's Superman Returns and thought Brandon Routh was the perfect successor to Christopher Reeve. Singer has a proven track record with super hero movies, and while Superman Returns may have lacked action, you could see the director's genuine affection for the character. I imagine a Singer-directed sequel would have kicked some serious butt. 

Now, after seeing this atrocity, I am sure that Man of Steel is going to be terrible. After Batman, Superman is my favorite superhero and his iconic red and blue costume is part and parcel with the character. This ugly gray and sort-of red thing looks like it belongs on an evil alien. Just awful!

And while I'm at it - here's a list of some other things I don't like:

Lima Beans

Ignorance

Homophobia

Xenophobia

Hate Speech

Liver

Most Republicans

Bad Lawyers

Liars

Hollywood Executives

Cheap Shoes

Spoiled Children

Helicopter Parents

Over-cooked Pasta

Charlie Sheen

Country Music

Rap

Pretension

Sarah Palin, Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann

Closeted Gays Who Publicly Oppose Equality

House

Ghost Hunters

Ghost Hunters International

Wall Street Fat Cats

"Fishy" Tasting Fish

Caviar

Most Musicals Written Before 1968

Andrew Lloyd Weber

Bad Sequels
Neo-Nazis, the KKK and Separatist Survivalists

Fear

Bad Acting

People Who Don't Bathe Regularly

Curry

Two and a Half Men

Sharktopus (but I'm not bitter)

Apple Products

Texting

Blue Cheese

People Without a Sense of Humor

People Who Take Themselves Too Seriously

Mushrooms

Anchovies

Ryan Seacrest

Oil Spills

Bad Spelling, Bad Grammar, Bad Punctuation and Bad Manners

Bad Chinese Food

Misogyny, Misanthropy and Hypocrisy

Something I like, a lot:

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Bad / Movies / Nonsense / Ramblings / Superheroes / Superman / Trailers with the title Superman. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2011/08/no-sir-i-do-not-like-it.html. Thanks!