November Turkey of the Month

I couldn't let Turkey Month end without a true turkey, could I? Will Smith continues to ride the wave downwards with this 2008 stinker about the most unlikeable superhero, ever. Hancock may pose some interesting questions, but never bothers to answer them and it's hero ends up looking more like a dick, than anything else.

With no memories of his origins and lawsuits against him for the destruction he's caused, Smith's John Hancock is a cypher (if only). After his latest debacle, he his contacted by PR genius Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman),whose wife (Charlize Theron) just happens to be Hancock's immortal partner (or some such nonsense), doomed to immortal super powers (oh, boo-hoo!)

On a side note, no matter how adorable many of us may find Jason Bateman, there is little room in my imagination to allow Ms Theron to be his wife. 

"Breaking Bad" creator Vince Gilligan may have come up with the concept for Hancock, but not every idea is a good one. Poorly written and loaded with bad CGI FX, Hancock serves as just another notch on Smith's increasingly large list of bad movies. I was 'lucky' enough to see this movie for free while on a business trip a few years ago. I almost felt guilty about billing it to my expense account. There are rumors of a Hancock 2. It is my fervent hope that they will remain just that.

Given Smith's most recent track record, which includes Wild, Wild West; I Am Legend; Hancock and M.Night Shamalamadingdong's After Earth, I'd say Will needs a new manager. And while I won't go into the rumors about Will and Jada and their supposed sexualities, I will say that Mr.Smith might want to consider going back into the music industry. At the very least, he should teach his son to keep his mouth shut when it comes to education. 

In the end, Hancock is a truly terrible movie and certainly deserves the title "Turkey."

Ugh!

More, anon.
Prospero

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Super Twink?

That's a new Superman action figure by Play Arts. It's part of something they call the Kai Variant Series. Now, while Uncle P remains an avid fan of  Superheroes, it has admittedly been many years since I've read any comics ("Watchmen;" "The Walking Dead" and "Chew" don't count). I think I was 13 the last time I read an issue of "Superman" or "Batman." And I know there have been changes in the timelines and weird revisions and alternate universes. I get it. But there are a few things I don't understand. 

First of all, why does Kal-El need any armor, let alone Samurai-inspired armor? Or is this some official military dress uniform on Krypton? Or is this some sort of Cyber-Kal-El, enhanced by advanced bionics (look at his wrists) after some terrible accident, far away from the yellow sun? Or is Superman visiting the planet Krull?

But I think what bothers me the most about this particular action figure is it's disproportionately tiny head, which makes Supes look like a 19 year old twink headed out to a gay cosplayer rave in Vegas.

Personally, I like my Supermen to be Henry Cavil hot, Christopher Reeve compassionate and Brandon Routh adorable, with just a dash of George Reeves cockiness -- hold the Nicolas Cage, thank you.Wow! Talk about impossible standards... No wonder I'm still single. (Not LOL'ing here... No, seriously, FML). Oh, wait. Superman is fictional, isn't he? Never mind, then.

Anyway...

As a gay child, I think I figured out pretty early that many superheroes were in fact, gay allegories, whether they were intended to be so, or not. Outsiders, different from everyone else for whatever reason, who decided or were compelled to stand up against evil and protect the good, all why wearing fabulous spandex costumes with capes and amazing accessories (at least three designers featured utility belts last month in Paris). Eventually, both DC and Marvel were ahead of the curve by featuring gay characters (don't ask me what's going at DC right now, though) and even Archie Comics, once owned by a Christian publishing company, has a gay character with his own title, Kevin Keller. 

And please, no comments about internalized homophobia. I don't hate twinks. I don't hate anyone. I feel very sorry for exceptionally ignorant and douchey a-holes who don't get that we're all in this together and we better figure out a way to make it work, or we're all doomed. I just hope I live long enough to witness their inevitable extinction. 

Anyway...

This was an odd post ending an odd day (long story). So let's perform one more amazing segue to tie all of this nonsense together with Shocktober, shall we? I still haven't decided what I'm going to be for Halloween this year, though my fall back is the amazingly easily-achieved "Middle-Aged Gay Man."  In case you're still stumped, here are some ideas for Superhero costumes from last year's NY ComiCon:

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Wonder Woman Fans Deserve?

Rileah Vanderbilt as Diana Price/Wonder Woman

I still haven't seen Man of Steel and I'm hoping that's a good thing. Potential disappointment would have far less impact on the small screen. And while not particularly a fan of Ben Affleck as the Batman (Dare Devil was not entirely his fault), I am very dubious of the announced Batman/Superman  movie of 2015, which should be the lead in for DC's Justice League movie. Though many fans (myself included) think there should be a few more origin films before leaping right into JLA. There's both The Flash and Aquaman (the latter often being the least popular member of the JLA) and then there is Princess Diana of Themyscira* AKA Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman.

*Formerly known as Paradise Island.

Created in the 1940's Wonder Woman (like many superheroes of the era) fought both Axis enemies and supervillians. She is an Amazon Princess with great strength, agility and courage. Her golden lasso forces anyone tied up in to tell the truth and her lighting reflexes & deflector bracelets keep her safe from gunfire. Oh. She has an invisible plane. She's gone through many changes over the years and like most superheroes has had some pretty outrageous story-lines. In a recent series, she was endowed with power by the Earth spirit Gaea, making her one of the most physically powerful DC characters, after Superman. 

Those of us old enough to do so, remember the very cheesy TV series starring Lynda Carter in a pair of blue Depends and the devilishly handsome Lyle Waggoner:

I never understood the point of an invisible plane if we can still see her. Of course, by Season 3, the opening credits lost the comic-book style animation and pro-women's rights lyrics in favor of instrumentals over action shots from the previous two seasons:

Since then, there have been several aborted attempts at a Wonder Woman feature and Direct-to-DVD animated movie, as well as a failed TV pilot from David E. Kelly with Adrianne Palicki ("Friday Night Lights") in the title role. The new costume didn't help.

Adrianne Palicki Fail

Earlier tonight, a friend shared the following on Facebook and I read it and watched it and thought "Yes! this is exactly how to do it!" A production company called Rainfall Films has put together a "concept clip" of how they think Wonder Woman should be made as a film. It certainly seems to fall into the more naturalistic DC Universe created by Chris Nolan's Batman films and perpetrated by Zack Snyder in Man of Steel. And while we don't really get a sense of her acting skills, "Fitness Model/Actor/Unicorn" Rileah Vanderbilt certainly fits the bill physically.

I also like how they've structured the piece with a relevant flashback with decent (if seen-before) CGI effects. Watch the clip for yourself and I'll be back with a few more comments. I recommend watching on Full Screen with the volume on:

Wow! Now THAT's a Wonder Woman for the 21st Century. The costume is perfect Amazon Warrior and the action is fun and exciting with that gritty Nolanesque (yes, I just created a new director-named adjective) attitude and I much prefer her ability to fly over the invisible plane. 

What say you, fellow geeks? Would you see this version of Wonder Woman? Because yer damned Skippy, I would!

More, anon.
Prospero

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TV Review: "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D."

Marvel, in their quest to dominate the superhero genre in all media, has launched the most anticipated new show of the season. ABC's "MAoS" is the second brand new show of the season and the second to become permanently scheduled on my DVR. Created by Joss Whedon (Marvel's The Avengers; "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") and directly tied to Marvel's ever-increasing role in popular culture and entertainment, "MAoS" may well do what "Heroes" and "No Ordinary Family" failed to do. If you haven't seen it, there are spoilers ahead.

As I am sure everyone expected and was delighted to find, "MAoS" was slick, smart, action-packed and an awful lot of fun. Having the most fun of all is Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson (and the only permanent cross-over character from the previous films). But... wait... didn't agent Coulson die in The Avengers? Well... Coulson explains that Nick Fury faked his death to rally the Avengers into a team. Coulson recovered from his wounds at a spa in Tahiti. Of course we find out... well, Coulson is either a clone with a memory implant or Coulson, actually raised from the dead. I'm guessing we won't find out this season. Cobie Smulders crossed over for the pilot, as well, recreating her role as Maria Hill. The rest of the team is made up of Agent Grant Ward (ridiculously handsome Brett Dalton - those names seem somehow easily interchangeable); Agent Melinda May (Ming-Na Wen); physicist Leo Fitz and biologist Jemma Simmons (Iain De Caestecker & Elizabeth Henstridge) are known collectively as "Fitzsimmons" while hacker/conspiracy blogger Skye (Chloe Bennet) who has skills they need.

Just about everything in the pilot, from the writing, casting, direction and special effects were simply top-notch. And they set a perfect mythology/mystery in motion with the need to find and stop the person and/or persons behind "Project Centipede," which (if the writers are smart) should be a recurring theme among stand-alone episodes, rather than the season's whole focus. But who the heck am I to tell Joss Whedon and company how to write their show, anyway?  Anyway, if you didn't watch it, you should. Geeky fanboy fun for the whole family. **** (Four Out of Four Stars)

Oh, and by the way... I want Lola!

More, anon.
Prospero

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Belated Review: "Kick-Ass 2"

D and I really enjoyed the 'real-life superhero' movie Kick-Ass, director Matthew Vaughn's (Stardust; X-Men: First Class) 2010 entry into the genre. 3 years later, Dave 'Kick-Ass" Lizewsky (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is back with a few new friends. Mindy 'Hitgirl' Macready (Chloe Grace-Moritz) has continued her costumed crusade against evil-doers, despite the objections of her guardian, Detective Marcus Williams (Morris Chestnut) though Dave has hung up his green and yellow costume, resulting in intense boredom. So bored, in fact, he contacts Hitgirl and convinces her to team up and start training again. When Marcus discovers she's been hitting the streets as Hitgirl again, he makes Mindy promise she'll stop and Kick-Ass goes in search of a new partner in the form of Dr. Gravity (Donald Faison). The two soon find themselves members of the superhero team 'Justice Forever,' headed up by former mob-enforcer turned Born-Again Christian, 'Colonel Stars and Stripes' (Jim Carrey). Meanwhile, former superhero 'Red Mist' (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) wants revenge for his father's death at Kick-Ass' hands and after his mother's death transforms himself into the kinky pleather-clad super villain "The Motherfucker," using his wealth to amass an army of killers and assassins to help him get said revenge.

Directed and co-written by Jeff Wadlow (Cry Wolf; "Bates Motel"), Kick-Ass 2 turns out to be a somewhat worthy sequel, though it sorely lacks Vaughn's subtle humor and attention to detail. Taylor-Johnson is fine here (and incredibly ripped), falling comfortably back into the role, while Grace-Moritz gets to tease some of her upcoming title role as a bullied outsider in the Carrie remake due later this fall. Mintz-Plasse is all over the place and over-the-top as the blind-with-rage villain, but he makes it work. Faison and the rest of the Justice Forever team are fun and funny, though Carrey is poor substitute for Nicholas Cage (who was spot on as Batman-wannabe Big Daddy in the first film) and Chestnut is wasted in a role that could have been played by almost anyone. Muscular Russian body builder Olga Kurkulina is terrifyingly imposing as a former KGB assassin "Mother Russia." but comedian John Lequizamo is also wasted as Mintz-Plasse's bodyguard/Man Friday, Javier.

The plot gets bogged down a bit while both Dave and Mindy take time to rediscover why they do what they do and a purely sexual relationship between Kick-Ass and 'Night Bitch' (Dawn of the Dead's Lindsey Booth) distracts and cheapens the premise. And while Kick-Ass was full of violence and murders, Kick-Ass 2 ramps it up with loads of gore and excessive cruelty (which, in the aftermath of the Newtown shootings, led Carrey to decry the film's violence). Costume designer Sammy Sheldon has loads of fun creating 'real-life' super & villain costumes and Production designer Russell de Rosario manages to create some very amusing hyper-realistic New York settings.

I saw the movie with my friend Mike, who agreed that while it was a fun, 'park-your-brain-at-the-door' actioner, it wasn't quite as good as the original. Kick-Ass 2 is rated 'R' for Strong Violence; Pervasive Languge; Crude and Sexual Content and Brief Nudity. ** (Two Out of Four Stars). The red-band trailer below is probably NSFW:

More, anon.
Prospero

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Holy Mjolnir

Chris Hemsworth

While I found Kenneth Branaugh's Thor to be a messy and rather silly entry in the Avengers films, Australian hottie Chris Hemsworth proved to be a rather perfect Thor and I actually enjoyed his performance in Marvel's The Avengers.

This November, Thor and Hemsworth are back in Thor: The Dark World. Directed by "Game of Thrones" director Alan Taylor, the movie re-unites Hemsworth with human love interest Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) in a story about a dark entity which threatens both Earth and Asgard (Thor's home world). 

Combining Norse mythology with modern Superhero comics, Marvel's comics place Thor in the body of disabled med student Donald Blake, who discovers his godhood almost by accident. The movies ignore this part of the origin story, much to the dismay of loyal Marvel fanboys. Personally, I'm more of a DC guy and really don't care about Thor's origin story, But a hot Aussie in as little clothing as possible? I'm there!

Here (via) is the trailer for Thor: The Dark World:

I know Marvel has several gay Supes in their stable. Too bad Thor isn't one of them. And too bad we have yet to see one in any of their films.

More, anon
Prospero

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Summer of Suck Part Deux?

Okay, is it me, or have there been very few summer tentpole movies to actually live up to their potential once again this summer? And yes, I missed a lot of them, though only one by accident. And it seems as though I really didn't miss much...

This past weekend saw the opening of South African director Neil Blomkamp's big-budget debut Elysium. It took the number one spot for its opening weekend but performed far below expectations, beating out stoner comedy We're the Millers by just $3M. As a fan of Blomkamp's debut District 9, Uncle P was excited for this big-budget thriller starring Matt Damon and Jodie Foster. And then I started reading the reviews and had to take pause when Colin Berry, one of the Happy Mutants at the insane Science/Art/Maker/Literature/Politics blog BoingBoing posted his review, calling it "...everything that sucks about movies these days." (Read it here).

And lots of big-budget blockbusters saw similar fates. R.I.P.D.; The Lone Ranger; World War Z; and After Earth (even though it never advertised that it was directed by one-hit wonder M. Night Shyamalan) all failed, miserably. Guillermo del Toro's much-anticipated Kaiju Vs. Giant Robots movie Pacific Rim underperformed, as did White House Down with Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx. 

The top performers so far this summer? Despicable Me 2; The Conjuring (a movie I wanted more from); Monsters University; Man of Steel and Iron Man 3. I've seen only one movie on this list and liked it, but not nearly as much as some people.

No one is quite sure why some of these movies failed, though I suspect that audiences have finally caught on and want more than just CGI FX and deafening sound to carry a movie. To which I say: Hurray!

But summer's not over and I have high hopes for a few late summer/early fall releases:

Kick-Ass 2 (NSFW):



The World's End:



Riddick:



Insidious: Chapter 2:



Gravity:



That last clip is absolutely terrifying! I can't wait!

More, anon.
Prospero

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Potential Cinema Nerdgasms

Well, it looks like we may well have another summer and fall of potentially terrific movies ahead of us. I have yet to see Ironman 3, but I thought Star Trek Into Darkness was a lot of fun. Of course, even Will Smith couldn't save M. Knight Shayamalon's latest, After Earth, though for once, I can't fault M. Knight alone. The concept was Smith's and it is obvious from many a publicity still that the movie had two directors. Does the Philly-based director get a pass, then? Nope. He lost his pass with The Village. He went on to lose all credibility as a writer with the abysmal Lady in the Water. I honestly don't understand why studios and/or producers continue to pay this man to direct movies no one wants to see.

Still, there are plenty of upcoming films that give Uncle P a Nerd-On. Starting with Man of Steel. This year, my  Birthday Present Movie from Christopher Nolan is Henry Cavill as possibly the hottest Kal-El ever. I know I've both complained and gushed about this movie, but the more I see of it, the more I want to see it. I've already sent a "Save the Date" email to the Usual Suspects (D, K. Q, Dale, etc.), while trying my best to keep my expectations in check. Still... Cavill is absolutely breathtaking; Amy Adams will always be one of my favorite actors ever and the involvement of  Nolan all give me hope that Zach Snyder's reboot of the original Superhero will be as good as the trailers promise:

On the silly side, opening just a few days earlier is the all-star apocalypse comedy, This Is the End, a movie I've reserved to see with D (Trailer NSFW):

The following weekend features three releases, only two of which have my attention. First is Pixar's prequel to Monsters, Inc., Monsters University:

Brad Pitt's World War Z opens the same weekend. I found Max Brooks' novel to be boring and derivative, and certainly unfilmable as is contained no true narrative plot. Brooks has already disavowed the film and there is nothing in any of the trailers that makes me want to see what is sure to be another big budget flop. Is it unfair of me to already hate this movie?

Also seeing release that week is the remake of the 80's slasher Maniac, starring everyone's favorite Hobbit as a serial killer (may be NSFW):

There are plenty more, like my Birthday Gift from Guillermo del Toro, Pacific Rim:



And James Wan's take on 'Demonologists' Ed and Lorraine Warren, The Conjuring:

And since we're already talking about Wan, his sequel to one of my favorite recent horror movies is scheduled for release on Friday, September 13th. D has already promised to see it with me, though he said he can't promise not to cry:

There are tons more movies I (and probably you) want to see this summer. I'm taking the season off from theatre (for the first time since 1987) so I might actually get to see more films this year. 

More, anon.

Prospero

PS - Watch for links updates to this post.

You have read this article Guillermo del Toro / Horror / Hot / James Wan / Kaiju / Movies / Nonsense / sci-Fi / Summer 2013 / Superheroes / Trailers with the title Superheroes. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/06/potential-cinema-nerdgasms.html. Thanks!

After the Superhero Leaves

If you've seen Pixar's hilarious Superhero/James Bond mashup movie, The Incredibles, then you know there is always a price to pay for the destruction caused by superheroes in their pursuit of supervillians. Sure, the Super has saved hundreds of thousands of lives from the hands of a madman, but at what cost? I know you've seen the trailers for Man of Steel. I must assume you saw The Avengers and at least the trailer for Ironman 3. Just at look at all the physical property destruction wreaked upon New York and Metropolis and wherever Tony Stark and Mr. & Mrs. Incredible live. Someone has to clean that mess up.

My amazing sister and her husband flew up from Florida to specifically come help me do some things around the house for which I don't have the skills or just couldn't do by myself. Thursday morning they showed up and the BIL went right to work, repairing the gate destroyed by Sandy (I knew there was a reason I didn't throw those pieces away). After he finished that, we went to a famous DIY box-store and spent an hour picking up supplies for the other jobs we had planned on tackling. I drove home at a steady 22 MPH with three 8x6 stockade fence panels tied to my luggage rack and a new ceiling fan for my kitchen; backsplash for my bathroom and assorted hardware for several other projects. Between 2 PM and 6 PM that afternoon, the BIL had installed the backsplash and the ceiling fan; the two of us put up the stockade fence and he repaired another chain-link fence on the short side of the back lawn. We had hoped to trim some of the horrifically overgrown vegetation along the two longer sides of the neighbors' fences, but it was raining off-and-on all day, so that got shelved. Meanwhile, my sister started sorting through some of Mom's extensive jewelery collection, looking for items of actual value. Mom has a lot of 'fashion' jewelry (what used to be called 'costume' jewelry), but she also had a whole lot of fine gold and silver stuff with plenty of real gemstones. Sis, along with being an extraordinary maker of cakes, used to work as a fine jewelry retailer and is a certified Diamondtologist. After a few hours of sorting and cleaning (and Mom's say-so), she had quite a pile of stuff Mom hasn't even seen in years, let alone worn. Exhausted, we met up later at a local diner (along with the BIL's equally gold-hearted sister and her very bright and funny son) for a huge celebratory meal. 

Yesterday, while Sis went off to sell the jewelry (which netted Mom far more much-needed cash than either of us anticipated), the BIL came back and started on the trimming we'd been unable to do on Thursday. And he had that look in his eye. The one that said, "I'm bored and I'm going to finish if it kills me." Using only an electric hedge trimmer and my small handsaw, he cleared 2/3 of the long-neglected weeds; vines; small trees and assorted Evil Dead-level vegetation in my backyard before accidentally cutting my 100' extension cord (something of which I've been guilty in the past). He vowed to repair or replace it (and he did). And while I truly appreciate all the hard work he put into it, it's going to take me several weeks to clear all the stuff he cut down. I alreafdy filled two large brown-paper lawn bags and barely touched a quarter of it Trust me, I am NOT complaining! I love that he did as much as he could while here. Hell, I wish we could have done more. And while I still have a ton of work to do in the yard, it hardly seems as overwhelming as it once did. Cleaning up after the superhero is certainly better than fighting the villain alone, no matter how sore one's legs, back and shoulders are... (I should buy stock in the company that makes 'Aleve'). It sucks getting old, kids.

I don't know. Maybe Man of Steel has me all worked up. I just know that I love my siblings and everything they do for me! And I can't wait until I can go down to the F state again for a proper visit!

More, anon.
Prospero

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A Game Changer

Henry Cavill as Kal-El

I am the first to admit to being dubious about Warner Brothers' reboot of DC's founding character with Zach Snyder's upcoming Man of Steel. It started a while back with the first pictures of the redesigned suit. Like many purists, I didn't like the loss of the red briefs, though the costume has grown on me a bit. Then I sort of balked at the casting of Henry Cavill. Why was  Brit playing an American icon? It would be like Ben Affleck playing James Bond. Then more pictures of Cavill as Clark Kent started showing up. A hairy-chested, bearded Kal El? (How the hell does a Kryptonian shave on Earth?) He was looking mighty fine, though.

Then the rest of the cast was announced. Amy Adams as Lois Lane? Okay, you've got my attention. I love Amy Adams. She's amazing. Laurence Fishurne as Perry White? Um.... sure, why not? As long as he isn't as creepy as he is on "C.S.I." and "Hannibal." . Oh, dear. Russell Crowe as Jor-El? Um.... um... Okay, I'll admit it. I despise Russell Crowe. I think he is an abominable person who doesn't deserve the fans he treats like crap. Wait, what? Kevin Costner as George Kent?  Seriously? Why does this hack still have a career? Oscar winner or not, Costner is a bad, bad actor. Diane Lane as Martha Kent? Isn't she too young? I mean, sure, I love her but when did she get old enough to play Martha Kent? It's like Winona Ryder playing Spock's mother in Star Trek. Weird. Oooh! Michael Shannon as General Zod sounds amazing.

The first trailer came out and fans were.... confused.

Hmmm. That was...  Oh, wait. I didn't realize Nolan was producing (before the teaser first came out). Okay. This has a chance of being better than Suckerpunch (though to be honest, almost anything had the same chance). Then came Teaser #2:

Well, that was... New Agey. Trailer #3 arrived with with Crowe, a look at Krypton and a few more hints.

Feeling a lot better, but still confused. Superman in handcuffs? More details leaked - No Kryptonite. In fact, Krypton was not destroyed. Kal-El was sent to Earth because he was an illegal natural child. Hmm.... Clark spends his early years afraid of who he is. Interesting. And the name Superman is merely alluded to but not used. David S. Goyer (Nolan's Batman trilogy) wrote the script. He's had more hits than misses, but this is tricky material. Sure, DC writers re-boot their lines all the time. But this is the greatest superhero of all time. There's some very deeply ingrained history with this character and Goyer is taking some major risks with a mythology origin that hasn't changed in 75 years. You guys better know what you're doing. I'll probably see it, but with a purist's eye and a romanticist's heart.

Then yesterday, this trailer hit the net and everything changed (watch FULL SCREEN!):

Damn!  Now that is the kind of big-screen; 3D; action-packed; 21st Century Superman movie the franchise needs. That trailer single-handedly changed Man of Steel's status from "Want to See" to "MUST See." I may want to be Batman, but I have have always been in love with Superman. It looks like Nolan and Snyder may well make me fall in love with the big gorgeous lug all over again!

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest Superhero You'll See This Week

Personally, I have never attended (and don't really hope to do so) a kiki. Made popular by the Scissor Sisters' single Let's Have a Kiki (link may contain NSFW content), a kiki is a small, impromptu party with close friends, or something. There may be catwalk modelling involved. Or Ecstasy. Something.

So, in case I haven't mentioned it before, part of my not-so-secret geekery includes Super Heroes. I'm a DC kid (though Spider-Man was fun). I think it had to do with the characters' secret identities. In public, I'm an upstanding, everyday citizen (except for the billionaire part, of course). Behind a mask, I get to wear tights and a cape and express who I really am. Gee -- I wonder why gay kids identify with Super Heroes? 

As a child, I was Batman for Halloween 3 years in a row. I used to tie a towel around my neck and ride by "Batcycle" (really a Schwinn "Pea-Picker" with a banana seat; wide handle bars and a sissy-bar for a passenger) down the street, singing "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah..." And no, I am hardly ashamed to admit this. Many of you know you did something similar. 

There's certainly nothing new about the homoerotic connotations in the relationship between Bruce Wayne/Batman and Dick Grayson/Robin. They sleep in the same bed, for eff's sake! And there's tons of fan art imagining much more going on between the hero and his sidekick.

Of course, comedian Jonny McGovern has his own ideas about Batman; his voice and what he's like when drinks too much (language NSFW):

There are rumors that Warner/DC's announced 2015 Justice League film is in trouble. The latest script is supposed to be a disaster and not a single actor has been signed. Personally, I think we'll need a Wonder Woman movie and a Flash movie, first. And a Green Lantern sequel that isn't a mess of ideas without anything to really tie them all together. And really, why hasn't there been a Wonder Woman movie, already? Sheesh! 

More, anon.
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The Strangest Opera, Best Sci-Fi and Worst Superhero You'll See this Week

Oh, Hell No!

So, Uncle P has an honest to goodness date tomorrow night - my first in more than ten years! Yikes! I met T on "Compatible Partners," the site E-Harmony was compelled by the courts to create. T seems likes a nice, normal guy from our emails, texts and phone conversations. Of course, my breakup with Ric was rather devastating as I thought I had found the person with whom I was going to spend the rest of my life. Looking back, I'm actually glad that didn't work out as my life would have been very different had we stayed together.   

But that has little to do with tonight's post.

First up (via) comes this bizarre and rather entertaining video from tenor August Schram,who mixes realism, surrealism and kink to create this possibly NSFW video for the aria "Habanero" from Bizet's classic opera "Carmen:"

Of course, regular readers know how much of a geek I am when it comes to Horror, Sci-Fi and Fantasy. And as much as I really loved JJ Abrams' Star Trek reboot, I'm really looking forward to it's sequel: Star Trek: Into the Darkness. Here's a little "behind the scenes" video to whet our geeky appetites:

Last, but not least, new photos of wackadoo Nicholas Cage in test footage for Tim Burton's proposed (and happily aborted) "Superman Lives!" movie have surfaced, featuring Cage wearing a 'muscularly enhanced' Superman costume (see above photo via) Personally, I can't get past Cage's receding hairline. Superman should have super hair, no? Henry Cavill may not have been my first choice for the iconic American superhero, but Cage would certainly be my last. Thank goodness this film was never made. Poor little Cal-El Cage might never have lived down the embarrassment.

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest & Most Super Things You'll See This Week

Henry Cavill in Man of Steel

Before anyone says or assumes anything, this post is not meant to imply actor Henry Cavill is gay. His picture here is part of the 'Super' section of the post (and the 'Hot' label).

I will admit that I have been a little less than kind when it comes to director Zak Snyder's Man of Steel, Warner Brothers and DC's most recent reboot of the Superman franchise. Cavill seemed an odd choice at first, though I will be the first to admit he is gorgeous. And he's obviously buffed up since his days on "The Tudors." I saw the teaser a few months ago and grew even more dubious. But today I came across the latest trailer for Snyder's version (produced by Christopher Nolan) and it may well have changed my mind, despite the presence of the truly terrible Kevin Costner and the enormously douchey Russell Crowe. I may be late when it comes to posting this trailer, but it was new to me, today:

Moving on to truly gay stuff, James Franco has been teasing and titillating gay fans for years with his is-he-or-isn't-he? schtick. Franco recently teamed up with very gay filmmaker Travis Matthews for Interior. Leather Bar, a film which imagines what went on during the filming of the infamous 40 minute scene which was cut (and subsequently lost) from William Friedkin's polarizing 1980 film Crusing, which starred Al Pacino as a cop going undercover into the gay leather scene to catch a serial killer. I saw Cruising with the same BF who introduced me to YES. We found it depressing and decidedly unsexy. It doesn't look as if Franco and Matthews have done anything to change my opinion of that film with theirs. Trailer may be NSFW:

Hmmm.... Whatever his sexuality, Franco continues to garner a reputation as a provocateur, at the very least. 

And in a very odd segue, linking yesterday's musical post and today's Gayest Thing post, here's the latest from recording artist Aiden James. 'Hurry, Hurry' is a delightfully catchy tune and the video features scruffy cutie James singing to his muscle bear sweetheart, while waiting to meet up in the Times Square subway station:

I've added Aiden's latest CD ('Trouble with This') to my Amazon wish-list. My birthday is only 6 months away....

More, anon.
Prospero

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Retro Reviews: "Chronicle" & "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas"

Okay, so I lied. I was planning on taking  a day off from blogging, but then I saw two movies today that I'd been saving on my DVR and wanted to talk about them, so there went that. And I'm also thinking that it would be nice this year to have at least a full month's worth of posts. which would satisfy that small part of my left brain that insists on order in at least some measure.

I had hoped to see both of these movies when there were current, but instead caught up with them on Showtime and Cinemax. First up: A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.

I have to admit that I really love Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. The whole movie is just completely ridiculous and absurdly hilarious in the vein of Better Off Dead and Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke. Outrageous, preposterous and downright silly, Kal Penn ("House") and John Cho (Star Trek) are perfect as two pot-smoking buddies on a quest for greasy fast food. Along they way they ride a cheetah through the woods and encounter a very wasted Neal Patrick Harris. The duo returned in 2008 with Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, an equally outrageous but not quite as funny sequel (trailers may be NSFW):

Last year saw what is hopefully the last of the series. Set six years after Guantanamo Bay, the latest movie in the franchise has Harold married to a hot Latina, while working as a broker and trying desperately to win the approval of his father-in-law (Danny Trejo). Kumar, meanwhile, is still a stoner living like a slob months after his girlfriend left him. When a package arrives for Harold at Kumar's apartment, he decides to deliver it in person. The giant joint inside ends up burning down the Father-in-Law's prized Christmas tree and the quest for a replacement begins. What follows is a fairly depressing story involving an accidentally drugged baby; the Russian Mafia; Neal Patrick Harris denying his sexuality (albeit satirically); dosed eggnog; penis 'jokes' and shooting Santa in the head. That's not to say the movie doesn't have its moments. I did laugh more than once (some of the more obvious nods to the 3D were very amusing), but I was more often mystified as to why Penn and Cho would stoop to some of the truly appalling things that happen in this movie. 1/2* (Half a Star Out of Four) Trailer very NSFW:

But my disappointment in that movie was more than made up for by Josh Trask and Max Landis' exploration of the Superhero genre using the mostly first person "found footage" technique for Chronicle, a surprisingly effective film about three teenagers who suddenly find themselves with increasingly potent superpowers told mostly through the lens of shy young Andrew (Dane DeHaan) whose mother is dying and whose alcoholic father (Michael Kelly) copes by abusing his son. Andrew's closest friend is his cousin, Matt (hottie on-the-rise Alex Russell), who just wants Drew to put down the camera and enjoy being a teenager. Matt convinces Andrew to accompany him to a rave, where Matt and his buddy Steve (Michael B. Jordan) find a weird hole in the woods. When the three climb down into the hole, they discover a cave housing... something. While it is never explained what the object they encounter is, it appears both alien and sentient. After their encounter, they discover they have been changed. 

A cleverly written take on the Superhero genre, Landis (son of famed director John) and Trask wisely introduce all the trappings of teenaged angst in their screenplay, without having to announce that they're doing so. The performances in Chronicle are as honest as any I've seen, with all three of the film's stars tapping into both the coming-of-age and comic book zeitgeists without a hint of irony or cheesiness. Russell, who will next be seen as Billy Nolan in the Carrie remake, is both likeable and believable as the trio's voice of reason, while DeHaan does his bast young Edward Furlong as the confused and angry Andrew. Jordan ("The Wire;" "Friday Night Lights;" "Parenthood") may be the most recognizable member of the cast and while he gets the least screentime of the three, Steve was the most relate-able and likeable character. The SFX in Chronicle are quite remarkable for an indie film, particularly during the rather breathtaking flying sequences. The eventual tragedy that comes from their circumstances, though obviously foreseeable, is no less tragic for being so and is made so much more poignant by Russell and DeHaan's performances. If you haven't seen Chronicle, you've missed one of this year's true gems. **** (Four Out of Four Stars). This is one that is definitely going on my 2012 Top 10 List!

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Geekiest Gay Love You'll See This Week (Possibly NSFW Edition)

XXX-Men

Really? Another blog post from a movie geek about gay comics? Please... But let this play out. You know I have my own take on things. And this post is actually more for myself a few other fanboy friends. You all know who you are, Stephen; Aaron; Tom; Murph; Chino, Bill M. If you don't get it or can't identify, don't feel bad. I still love that you check in every now and then. So let's talk about comics, shall we?

The comics I read as a kid were Creepy, Eerie and Vampirella from Warren Publications. I know you are hardly surprised by this. The great thing about Warren was, they got around the infamous Comics Code by calling their comics "magazines" and publishing them in an 8"x11" format. The children of the original Tales from the Crypt, the Warren horror comics were dark and weird and silly and often had gorgeous covers from artists like Frank Frazetta. My friends and I would by them from Bob's Bookstore at 5 Points. Bob sold new and used books and comics. He also sold illegal half-cover comics, 10 for $1.00. My personal love of superheroes comes more from TV and movies than from the comics. I didn't discover most of their comic-book personae until I'd seen some other medium's version. And while their is plenty to love about the Marvel Universe, I will always prefer DC Characters. I may have mentioned a few times how many times I was Batman for Halloween (not to mention just playing in the yard with a big bath sheet tied around my neck). And don't even talk to me about tearing up at certain points during the good Superman movies. Yes, I really loved just about every Marvel movie in the past few years (Thor being the exception), but the DC characters are more... pained, I guess. Yes, even Superman - Kal-El is an alien, after all. The LGBT community as a whole may identify more with Marvel's X-Men (and I certainly do, to some extent), but DC's tortured souls speak to me differently. Anyway...

Bill M. is also a DC guy. Bill's love of Superman is equal to mine of Batman. Bill and I met this past spring and quickly found out we love many of the same things and have been posting all kinds of Superhero nonsense on each other's Facebook timelines. Many of our friends have caught on and also post similar things to both of us. Today, sweet Stephen in Portland posted a picture of some hand-painted Christmas ornaments with the logos of several superheroes. Well and good, until my friend Aaron asked "What is Cap(tain America) doing with all those DC characters?" I looked at thepicture again. Yup. Batman; Superman; Flash, Green Lantern (all DC) and Captain America (Marvel). "I didn't make them," I replied, "but the thought of Cap and Bats is pretty hot."

Aaron then linked to the cover for a DC/Marvel crossover with Batman and Captain America joining forces. "No Rule 34" he said. So of course, Uncle P, being the dirty old bear that I am, went looking for Rule 34. And man, is there lots of it!

I'm not sure if that's Brandon or Tom (maybe Tom's head on Brandon's body?) in that composite on the left but it's definitely the work of a gay geek with some mad Photoshop skills and a dirty mind. I personally don't see this particular pairing as very probably in a gay cross-over story. Most of the fan-made gay superhero stuff online is in the form of paintings and drawings (and plenty of 'shopping), usually deliberately done in the style of an established comics artist. Here are a few I found:

Why Does Superman Look So Surprised?

Gay Emo Superboy

Who the Hell Are These Guys?

Of course this fascination with turning established characters gay is hardly new:

Highly Illogical

Oh, Mr. Frodo!

Malfoy Has a Magic Wand

Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight 

It's obvious that the fans want what the fans want. Give us some more hot gay boys, Hollywood! We've grown up since Brokeback Mountain. Of course it could all explode in our faces. Fan fiction also gave us "Fifty Shades of Gray" {violent shudder of revulsion}. I have lots more to say about this subject, but that's for another post.

I will say that 20 years ago, I wouldn't have written a piece like this (indeed, many of the pieces I've written). LGBT acceptance has grown beyond what I ever thought I'd see in my lifetime, and the comics were at the forefront of inclusion, long before many people even noticed. Both Marvel and DC have LGBT characters driving major story lines. Even the wholesome Archie Comics introduced Kevin Keller, an out and proud Military Officer, who married his African American partner Clay Walker this past January. Progress is slow, until it happens all at once. We're getting there.

Of course, there's nothing wrong in finding the humor in all it:

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Batman / Cartoons / Comics / Fan Fiction / Fantasy / Gay / Nonsense / NSFW / Superheroes / Superman / The Gayest Thing / X-Men with the title Superheroes. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-geekiest-gay-love-you-see-this-week.html. Thanks!

Popping Tentpoles

You have probably already seen at least one or two of the four full-length trailers for upcoming films which were released online today. I am on the fence about all of them. Two of them are potential franchise rebooters. One of them is from an original story from my second-to-least favorite (and most frustrating) modern director and the other is from the director of TRON: Legacy, written by and based on the graphic novel by the director. Of course, the downside of that good news is the star. But first things, first.

Return to us now, to those thrilling days of yester-year! A staple of radio and weekly film serials since the 1930's, The Lone Ranger was popular with Western-loving audiences right through the 1950's. Played in serials, films and on TV for many years by Clayton Moore, the Ranger's last incarnation was the miserable 1981 The Legend of the Lone Ranger starring Clinton Spilsbury in the title role and Michael Horse as Tonto. You might not remember Spilsbury because he never made another movie, ever. Horse has had an almost-make-a-living career ever since. Here's the trailer for that major misstep from Universal:

Today, Disney released the first full trailer for their reboot, starring hottie Armie Hammer as John Reid/The Lone Ranger and Johnny Depp as Tonto. I hate this idea, even more than I hated the idea for Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Of course, writer/director Gore Verbinski proved that at least one Pirates movie was a good idea. Still, Depp has begun to annoy me. As a 'star' who wants to keep a low profile, he sure does work a lot. Recently, for the same two directors, over and over again. This time, he has a dead crow on his head and does his best to create a non-stereotypical Native American accent:

Just once, I would love to see Depp in a film by almost anyone but Burton or Verbinski, playing an everyday Joe who doesn't have anything extraordinary happen to him. Hammer apparently has big feet, and we all know what that means... He's also rather gorgeous when cleaned up. While there is no trace of the William Tell Overture in the trailer, Jack White's score is sure to include it in some way.

Then there is Man of Steel, director Zack Snyder's reboot of Warner's and DC's Superman franchise, starring Henry Cavil as Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman. Along for the ride are Micheal Shannon; Amy Adams; Russell Crowe; Kevin Costner; Diane Lane: Laurence Fishburne; Christopher Meloni and Tamoh Penikett. Snyder's Watchmen was pretty good, though his last movie Sucker Punch was downright awful. But with producer Christopher Nolan and writer David S. Goyer on board, Man of Steel  could be just what the franchise needed, despite the silly new costume design and the lack of Brandon Routh:

Still hot but wacky Scientologist Tom Cruise returns to Sci-Fi in writer/director Joseph Kosinski's (who also wrote the graphic novel in which this film based) post-apocalyptic thriller Oblivion. Cruise plays a court-martialed soldier sentenced to repair droids on a decimated Earth, only to discover the planet isn't as deserted as once thought.

Finally, there's M. Night Shama --- no, I'm not going to do the joke name tonight. Every time I thought Shyamalon was about to redeem himself, he's failed me. Returning to Sci-Fi for the first time since Signs (the second and last film of his I liked), M Knight's latest sees Will Smith and son Jaden marooned on a future version of Earth which was abandoned by humans 1000 years earlier:

Oooh! Baboons and the return of Ice Age saber-tooths! How (not) exciting! Given Smith's record of late, I'll probably wait until this one's on Showtime.

I hope 2013 has better fare in store than most of these movies. What do you think? What movies are you looking to seeing in the coming year?

More, anon.
Prospero

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Retro Review: Five For and Five Against "The Avengers"

The Avengers

Like many Americans, I had off today for Labor Day. Not so coincidentally, Disney and Marvel re-released The Avengers to the big screen for one week on Saturday. Because I missed it the first time around (I was a little busy), I decided to take advantage of the day off and see the movie all my friends seemed to love. Armed with the AMC gift card my sister wisely gave me for my birthday, I went to my favorite AMC for the 11:35 AM show (all movies before Noon at AMCs in my region are just $6.00 - Score!).

I am assuming most of my regular readers have already seen it, so I'll once again borrow from my buddy Sean and do a "Five For/Five Against" review.

FOR:

5. Joss Whedon. A true fan-boy, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer; "Firefly;" "Dollhouse;" Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and Cabin in the Woods hit a double homer with a funny, exciting script and spot-on direction. Sure, there are a few plot holes. Just how did Loki escape the abyss? How exactly did Thor return to Earth? Where the heck did the Hulk land so he could make it back to NYC so quickly and just how did Banner and Thor know to go there, in the first place?

4. Chris Evans. I could watch that man read a phone book, as long as he did so with his shirt off. Woof!

3. Robert Downey, Jr. Those bedroom eyes are just the start. As in both of the previous Ironman movies, Downey is simply terrific as the wise-cracking super genius superhero with a super ego. He totally deserves the top billing he received.

2. They finally got The Hulk right. Mark Ruffalo was nothing less than wonderful as Bruce Banner and it was great to see the Hulk actually modeled after the actor playing Banner, complete with hairy torso. I do hope Ruffalo gets his own stand-alone Hulk movie (preferably with Whedon at the helm). He certainly deserves it.

1. The FX. I deliberately chose to see The Avengers in 2D and I think many of the effects would have been ruined in 3D. Not once did I think "Oh, that's great CGI." I just thought, "Oh, that was awesome!"

Easter Egg Bonus: At the very end of the credits, we're treated to a very funny (and practically silent) scene of the team eating at the Shawarma place Tony Stark talks about near the end of the movie. The perfect way to humanize super-humans.

AGAINST:

5. Jeremy Renner. I just don't get it. He's not particularly attractive (that nose!) or especially talented. I kept thinking that any thirty-something actor could have done as well or better as 'Hawkeye.' He does have nice arms, though - I'll give him that. And I don't know why early posters showed him wearing a mask, since he doesn't do so in the movie.

4. Manhattan Mayhem. Yes, it's been 11 years, but seeing  Manhattan skyscrapers collapsing still made me a bit uncomfortable.

3. SPOILER ALERT: The Death of Agent Phil Coulson. Really? The underrated Clark Gregg has been a favorite of mine since his turns as Michael Casper on "The West Wing" and Richard Campbell on "The New Adventures of Old Christine." I can't wait to see what he does with Leonato in Whedon's modern dress version of Much Ado About Nothing (a play very dear to my heart). I actually gasped when Loki literally stabbed him in the back.

2. Agent Maria Hill. I love Cobie Smulders on "How I Met Your Mother." Here, she was just meh. But I blame it on the role, rather than Smulders. Again, any attractive thirty-something actress could have played the part just as effectively.

1. Thanos. This little-loved Marvel villain is apparently behind Loki's attempt at conquering Earth, as seen in the first Easter egg after the main titles. I can't imagine how Whedon will work the death-loving monster into The Avengers II, though I'm certainly willing to give him the chance.

Regardless of its minor flaws, The Avengers is still an enormously entertaining movie and fans of the Superhero genre will not be disappointed. I certainly wasn't. ***1/2 (Three and a Half Out of Four Stars).



More, anon.
Prospero

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