A Very Gay Olympics Quickie

While the competitions officially start tomorrow night, the Opening Ceremonies of the 2014 Winter Olympics aren't for two more days. 

First, I have to ask if anyone is really all that surprised by the two major stories trending on the web, right now? First, are the hilarious horror stories being tweeted from journalists about their unfinished; easily broken; water tainted; heatless accommodations. And I thought I had a bad hotel experience in Chicago, last summer! Of course, foreign war correspondents are understandibly less than sympathetic...

Then there's NBC's story about the prolific electronics hacking taking place among the tourists pouring in from all over:

Oh, dear. Not that I would have gone, but I somehow feel better knowing there is nothing on my phone I wouldn't be willing to share with my 85 year old great aunt. I don't use my smartphone for much more than pictures, calls and texts (and the occasional GPS) and have no fear of my personal and/or financial information being stolen from it.

Listen, I get it. The Olympics are the Oscars for athletes. The winners' names will be recorded for the remainder of Human History (forget about eternity... humans will most likely be extinct long before our sun goes supernova). The participants spend lifetimes preparing to compete and no one should be denied the right to do so. But no one should be afraid to be arrested, beaten or worse, just for being who they are. Thankfully, this video from the Canadian diversity group CIDI ICDI isn't about to let the Russians off the hook quite so easily (via):

As George Takei might say..."Oh, myyyyy!"

I will not be watching the Winter Olympics this year. Not that I would normally, though I occasionally stop while clicking through channels to see the medal count or watch some figure skating (I am so effing gay, I almost can't stand it). This time, though, I think it would feel... icky, to watch, knowing how bad things are for LGBT Russians. It makes me sad that what should be a Celebration of World Unity has instead become a lesson in homophobia, incompetence and an egotistical Tsarist's whims. Personally, I'd be happy to never see Putin's nipples again, for as long as I live.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Homoerotic Spanish & Pervy Kiwi Advertising (Possibly NSFW Edition)

It's not like advertisers never knew we existed as a target audience. It's just that now it's finally cool to acknowledge our dollars may well be 'pink,' but they're also just as green as everyone else's.

And while neither of these ads is specifically targeting gay audiences, there is a certainly homoerotic quality to the running pants ad (via - link may be NSFW) from Spain's ES Sportswear, I've embedded below. Loaded with crotch and ass shots, butt-slapping, chest-stroking and arm-linking; its rather obvious to whom ES really wants sell their brand.

Then there's this parody commercial purporting to be for product from New Zealand, featuring a spokesperson whose highly exaggerated Kiwi accent turns it into something hilariously and possibly NSFW pervy (also via):

Some NZ folks are unhappy about that clip, while others find it as childishly hilarious as Uncle P did. It was probably made by an Aussie... or a Tasmanian. (Ha! I bet you were expecting a Warner Brothers joke there. Nope! Pwn'd). 

I almost did another Retro-Review of a recent Indy and Oscar favorite tonight, but I'm still mulling parts of it over. There was some beautiful imagery; lots of wry humor and some beautifully underplayed performances, but it all seemed a bit too self-aware. I'll elaborate soon (or not - it all depends).

More, anon.

Prospero

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The Next Gayest Things You'll See This Week

I was going to talk about Jonathan Winters' passing, but I've had enough sad stuff this week. And yes, I will finish yesterday's post. I'm still trying to figure out how I want to say what I want to talk about, without coming off as maudlin or sappy. Again, it's been a tough week.

So instead, tonight I thought I'd I'd write about some pretty funny; somewhat sexy and very, very gay things.

First up (via) comes a film industry oddity - a teaser trailer for a movie that hasn't even started shooting (um... so where did the teaser footage come from?). Anyway, the movie (for which I can find no IMDb listing) is called TOM, a long-rumored biography of illustrator and designer Tom of Finland. Born Touko Laaksonen in 1920, Tom of Finland's illustrations influenced and informed mid-century gay culture with his stylized, hyper-masculine erotic art. Featuring leather-clad muscle boys; tightly-uniformed sailors and fetish-wearing Pony Boys (most with impossibly large um... 'equipment'), Laaksonen's work most certainly influenced The Village People and the controversial Al Pacino movie Cruising in the late 70's and early 80's. The teaser's very amusing (and fairly safe for work until the last 30 seconds or so). Nathaniel at The Film Experience identifies the adorable actor playing the artist as an actor named Olli Rahkonen. I love his dirty smirking!

It also reminds of the time I was playing the Cowardly Lion in a 1978 production of The Wizard of Oz and my innocent young sister bought me a greeting card with Dorothy and Toto in a leather bar, lamenting about not being in Kansas. That card was funny to a 10 year old girl in a very different way than it was to her 16 year old gay brother. Yikes! If only she'd known.... wait. DUH!

In less salacious gay entertainment news. Britain's ITV has released the trailer for "Vicious," (via) about a bickering older gay couple (Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi - wow!) whose lives are changed when a new neighbor moves in. I should be so lucky...

If "Vicious" is a hit, it won't be long before we see an American version. Who would you cast? I can see Fred Willard and Martin Mull. Scott Thompson (so happy to see him on "Hannibal" this week!) and Stephen Rutledge, perhaps? Now there's a duo I'd love to direct.

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest Fight You'll See This Week

Warning - links in this post may be NSFW, though the videos are probably fine - unless you work for a church or some other Christian/Muslim/religious organization.

Today, over at My New Plaid Pants, JA offered up a 50th birthday tribute to Gay-for-Pay 90's porn star Jeff Stryker. While I understand Stryker's appeal to a certain demographic, my reaction to him has always been "Meh." He is mentioned as part of a very humorous dialogue between Jeffrey and his father in Paul Rudnick's Jeffrey and that's really all I know (and want to know) about him. He is not "my type," as it were. His Wikipedia page says he was inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame and has a star on the Hustler Porn Walk of Fame. It seems a bit odd to me that someone should be semi-famous for appearing in porn, but so be it. It worked for Jenna Jameson and Traci Lords, I guess. 

Regardless of what you or I may think about the 'Adult Film Industry' and those who participate in the films, we both know that porn stars can only be described as 'actors' in the broadest sense. Which brings me to one of the clips JA included as part of his post about Stryker. It features Stryker and a host of impossibly well-built blonds in a ridiculously silly fight at a train yard, resulting in one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever committed to VHS:

Of course, seeing this clip immediately brought to mind (for the second time this week, mind you) one of the most hilarious fight scenes of all time, from the musical Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter:

Yes, you read that correctly. JCVH is a musical. And yes, Uncle P owns a DVD copy of this movie (it was a Secret Satan Santa gift from an equally twisted Day Job friend). I particularly love how the atheists keep pouring out of the car like clowns in some bizarro circus. Of course, the terrible electronic soundtrack and ridiculous sound effects only add to it's brilliant awfulness. I had the JCVH DVD for about three years before I actually watched it, and only then it was with D and a couple of his friends, all of whom found it just as hilarious as I did.

Here's the thing: Sex is often very funny. And funny is always good, even if it happens when being bad. I just hope you have as much fun being bad as I do. 

More, anon.
Prospero

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Pole to Pole (or: Art Can Be Sexy and Sex Can Be Artistic)

Travis Scott, Chris Talbot and Luke Quadrio - Pure Pole Studs

There has been some talk of adding Pole Dancing to the 2016 Olympics. Some people I've mentioned this to have expressed disdain and even disgust at the notion. Yes, I know - Pole Dancing is usually associated with sleazy girls in "Gentlemen's" clubs. But lately, the grace and athleticism required for such performances has been acknowledged as something more than just "dirty." Hell, on last season's 'America's Got Talent' a male pole dancer, Steven Retchless, almost made it to the semi-finals.

The upper-body strength required to do these impressive moves is nothing less than amazing. Personally, I would give almost anything to be able to do what these guys do. Gay Aussie trio Pure Pole Studs are proving that athletes can be sexy (not that anyone doubted that, anyway). Take a quick look at what these boys can do (via):

How can anyone say these guys aren't athletes? Can you do that? I doubt it. I know I certainly can't (nor ever could). And honestly, what delineates Pure Pole Studs from the Chinese Poles performers in Cirque du Soliel's Saltimbanco? I'm guessing it's fancy costumes and and a live orchestra:

Saltimbanco was the first of many live Cirque du Soleil productions I have seen. My dear friend Elizabeth and I were entranced. They never fail to amaze and excite me and always make me wish I was capable of performing such astonishing feats of athleticism. Many Olympic gymnasts have gone on to become Cirque performers and Prospero's own Ariel (the very sweet and intensely focused Christina) has studied with them, going on to create her own athletic clowning duo which performs all over the world. Cirque even has a show in Vegas that is all about human sexuality, "Zumanity" at the New York, New York casino and hotel:

So, where do we draw the line between 'Sex' and 'Art?' Not an easy question. Nor should it be. Pole dancers as athletes? Athletes as sexual beings? To me, it's all just part of being human.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Art / Athletes / Cirque du Soleil / dance / Gay / Hot / Men / Obsessions / Pole Dancing / Sex / Sexy with the title Sex. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/08/pole-to-pole-or-art-can-be-sexy-and-sex.html. Thanks!

Do You Like Gladiator Movies?

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Way back in 1997, Disney angered the population of an entire country when it released the animated musical Hercules. The Greeks complained that the film reduced the classic mythological hero to a buffoonish caricature. Really? Where were they when handsome American body-builder and 'actor ' Steve Reeves was making his living in terrible 1960's Italian films about the same character? And where was the uproar when Austrian strongman (and future Governator) Arnold Schwarzenegger played the role for laughs in 1969's Hercules in New York? And then there was the All-American Hercules; Kevin Sorbo in Sam Raimi's sarcastically homoerotic "Hercules: The Legendary Adventures," which ran on American cable from 1995 to 1999. I don't remember any Greeks protesting that show.

So, I have to wonder: what will the Greeks think of former pro-wrestler turned family-film-star, Samoan behemoth Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as their iconic hero? Literally dozens of industry sites are reporting that Johnson - currently on screen in the critically derided 3D actioner Journey 2: The Mysterious Island - is in talks to play the Greek demigod in director Brett Ratner's adaptation of Steve Moore's darkish graphic novel, 'Hercules: The Thracian Wars.'

I like Johnson. He's personable, attractive and has a rather amazing physique. He's been in both bad (Tooth Fairy) and fairly decent (The Rundown) films. On talk shows like 'Ellen,' Johnson comes across as a bright, funny, dedicated family man who wants to make movies his kids can watch. Of course, it's going to take lots and lots of Dermablend (or very expensive CGI) to cover those traditional Samoan (and Texan) tattoos. And Uncle P (among millions of gals and guys) would certainly not kick him out of bed for eating crackers.

Of course, the Greeks have other things to worry about these days, though I can't imagine they're going to happy with a Samoan actor playing a Grecian icon, given their response to the Disney film. 

As for me, my first experience with the character was the 1960's cartoon (I'm old, remember?) "The Mighty Hercules," in which Hercules resembled Superman and his best friend was a fey satyr named Newt (no relation to the current Repugnican candidate).

Ancient Greek warriors were often paired with their male lovers; the idea being that they would look out for and protect one another. It's a strategy that worked for thousands of years. While there is nothing in classic Greek mythology to suggest Hercules had such a pairing, I certainly wouldn't mind being paired with Johnson in war or peace... I'm just saying.

More, anon.
Prospero

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A Dirty Shame

That's Moisturizer, Right?

This post has nothing at all to do with the disappointing 2004 John Waters' film of the same name.

If you visit the same blogs as Uncle P does, then you've probably already seen the banned Hungarian version of the poster for Steve McQueen's Shame. And while I haven't actually seen the critically acclaimed film, I've heard and read enough about it. Hell, George Clooney made one of the Golden Globes' funniest jokes referring to Michael Fassbender's anatomy in the film. And Fassbender himself has joked that he is contractually obligated to appear naked in every movie he's in.

Many years and about 60 lbs ago, Uncle P briefly appeared naked on stage in the NJ premiere of Terrance McNally's Love! Valour! Compassion! It's not an easy thing to do, the first time. Of course, over the six-week run of the show, it just became part of the show; the next thing that happened in the scene. I was naked for all of ten minutes, I think. And most of that was spent lying on my stomach on a 'raft' in a 'lake.' I disrobed; went backstage and got wet in tub of tepid water (I was supposed to be swimming); came back onstage to lie on the 'raft' and then froze as the heat from the lights rapidly evaporated the water on my skin. It was far from sexy (nor was it meant to be). 

Being naked on stage or in film is rarely sexy (at least for the actor). There's lighting and camera angles, staying in character and having to know what to do and say next; all while a bunch of strangers (either audience or crew) sit or stand around, watching. I imagine it was just as unsexy for Fassbender; especially given the nature of the movie and his character, an unfulfilled sex-addict who derives less and less pleasure from sex, even though he is compelled to seek it out more and more. And while McQueen's film has been a critical darling since it premiered at Cannes last fall, it failed to garner a single Oscar nomination. And I suspect it's because it was released with an NC17 rating. But more on that in a moment.

Of course, if I had a body like Michael Fassbender's, I'd be naked as often as possible. But let's be honest, so few us have bodies like Fassbender's. Or Chris Evans', Ryan Reynolds', Ryan Gosling's or even George Clooney's. And I can certainly understand why that poster was banned in still socially conservative Hungary. Of course, most of the Hungarian Americans I know are as liberal as I am, which I guess says something about the difference between the formerly communist nation and the U.S. And I won't even go into the inordinate number of gay porn stars who claim to be Hungarian - that's a post for someone else's blog. 

Still, I don't understand Americans' squeamishness when it comes to sex. American audiences think nothing of violent murders and closeups of autopsies in films or on TV, but heaven forfend we should glimpse a nipple during the Superbowl half-time show or show a penis on a movie screen. 

Many, many years ago, Uncle P traveled to France with his high-school French club. While in Paris, our teachers thought it would be a good thing to take us to a real French movie. So our tour guide recommended the number one film at the time, L'amour viole (Violated Love). It told the story of a marriage that fell apart after the wife was raped. The rape in question was very graphically depicted and our teachers were visibly upset by the scene and asked the group of 16 and 17 year-olds (who were actually horrified by the scene) not to tell our parents they had taken us to see it. They didn't get that we were far more upset by the film's violence that the sex. 

And that's what I don't understand about American audiences today. Why is it okay to see someone's eye's gouged out or someone get beheaded, but not a woman's breast or a man's penis? Why is alright to watch an unnatural murder, but not a natural act of love? Have our psyches been so pervaded by our Puritan and Victorian ancestors that we can accept blood and death but not love and semen? Obviously, porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. Yet most folks will admit to watching Conan the Barbarian before admitting to watching Debbie Does Dallas. There's a strange disconnect there, don't you think? 

Even worse, as provocative and graphic as Shame may be, director McQueen still shies his camera away during the film's one male same-sex encounter, which speaks volumes to how uncomfortable most people are when it comes to that subject. And while queer director Greg Araki proves the exception to that rule, his films have hardly the same high profile as McQueen's.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm one of those few people who actually find sex to be a beautiful, natural and magical thing. Oh, don't get me wrong - I like imaginary violence and murder just as much as the next Horror fan. I just know the difference between the two.



More, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

That's James Franco's younger brother Dave. He and James have made a few videos together (one also starring their mom). Recently, Dave made a hilarious video with Fright Night and Superbad star Christopher Mintz Plasse in which they tell one another (in a VERY NSFW way) how hot they found one another. You can see it here. Say what you will about their filthy pillow talk, they are both obviously having fun trying to outdo one another with their graphic descriptions of what they would do to one another in a very jokey way.

Of course, James Franco has been very coy about his own sexuality. He's played (and will be playing) plenty of gay characters on film. Of course, that could just mean that he's exceptionally comfortable in his own masculinity. Or it could mean he's gay. Or bisexual (something recently proven as scientifically valid). Or it could mean he's playing with our heads (NO, not that one). He recently said in an interview (and forgive me for not knowing the source off the top of my head - you should forgive the expression), "Who knows? I just might be gay." James has played gay characters in James Dean; Milk; Howl; The Broken Tower and the upcoming Sal. In The Broken Tower (also directed by Franco, as is Sal), he reportedly has a very explicit gay sex scene with co-star Michael Shannon. Of course, speculation can go any way it wants. We'll never know the truth unless Franco speaks up one way or the other.

Still, that hasn't stopped his brother from following in his footsteps. In the also VERY NSFW clip below, Dave goes both gay and narcissistic. Via Towleroad , My New Plaid Pants and kenneth in the (212), here's "Go F*ck Yourself:"

Go F*ck Yourself with Dave Franco from Dave  Franco     

By the way... you all know you would if you could.

More, anon.
Prospero

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