Somebody Stop This Beyotch!

I have not seen the latest Disney musical Frozen. I have heard the songs and the parodies of the songs and I think I have a basic understanding of it's plot. And while I love Idina Menzel and the fact that Disney is still able to produce quality films in the digital age... enough, already!

If like Uncle P,  you live along the PA/NJ/NY portion of the infamous I-95 Corridor, then you know exactly what I am talking about. For the past hour, snow has been falling as part of the fourth major snow storm here in as many weeks. Some models project as much as 20 or more inches for the region. Snow here has passed beyond 'magical' and 'beautiful' and long moved on to "I F*CKING HATE WINTER!!"  Of course, it was weather like this which prompted my Sister and the BIL to move to Florida (a state mostly populated by retirees, lunatics, meth-heads and cannibal face-eaters). 

The days are slowly but surely getting longer and I go off of middle shift at the end of this month, which means I'll be going home during daylight once again. Both of these things give me hope, though I still remember the blizzard of March, 1996 and the multiple ice storms of 1998. I was then, as now, convinced winter would never end. I did then and still do, know better. This too, shall pass. Spring will arrive and summer in the Delaware Valley will be excruciatingly humid and we'll all be bitching about that, come mid-July. Still... Taos looks better and better with each passing storm...

If you are trapped in your house today, take some time to enjoy these hilariously (if only slightly) related videos:

This was just last week:

And just to make you feel a little better about this seemingly endless winter, the boys from MST3K have it covered:

Feeling a little warmer already...

More, anon.
Prospero

UPDATE: Uncle P has just learned that the Day Job is closed today! Woo-hoo! Sleeping in!

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The Bitchiest Nonsense You'll See This Week or: When Local Goes National

Carol Erickson and Her Dogs

While I've lived here and there from time to time, I've spent the majority of my life as a suburbanite in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. My local news has always been one of the major three Philadelphia affiliates, though for longest time I've been partial to our local NBC news. Because it is two hours of repetition between 4 and 6 PM, I know I can drop in at almost any time for half an hour and see everything I need to. It's news for the Information Age. 

When I was a kid, the local ABC affiliate was the news to watch. The stalwart channel loves it's stars and ancient anchor Jim Gardner (whose been at it since the 70's) is still chugging away at a dusty old station which somehow seems to have lost touch with the 21st Century. Most of the reporters on Action News have been there for at least 25 years and only seem to be replaced when they retire or die. The "Murder She Wrote" and "Matlock" crowd watch this broadcast.

Then there's the local CBS station. A decent station with

Nicole Brewer

a combination of both older, more experienced staffers and younger up-and-comings. It's my second choice. 

Before I go on, I have to tell you that sometime in the late 90's, the Philadelphia NBC and CBS channels switched affiliations. I don't know if that's ever happened in any other market, but it happened here and it resulted in some confusion for the first few months. What didn't change at the time, were the news teams. Now, for those of you who weren't alive, there was an up and coming newswoman in the 70's named Jessica Savitch. Savitch worked for the (then) local NBC affiliate in the 70's and went on to be the NBC Network weekend anchor. Many thought she was on track to become a major star; possibly the first Female Network anchor, even. Sadly, Savitch died after the car she was riding in crashed into the Delaware Canal near New Hope, PA in 1983. The story went national. It was even the basis for the film Up Close and Personal, with Michelle Pfieffer and Robert Redford.

Flash-forward to 2008. The station is now a CBS affiliate. Anchor Larry Mendte is accused of hacking into former co-anchor Alycia Lane's email account 537 times! The resulting scandal costs Mendte his job. He pleaded guilty to felony hacking charges and admitted to having an "improper relationship" with Lane. The story went national.

This time, it's a mere 5 years between viral stories for this beleaguered news team. Veteran meteorologist Carol Erickson (who's been with this station since the 80's) and morning anchor (and former pageant queen) Nicole Brewer are the subject of speculation that they despise one another and have been openly displaying their venomous relationship on air (via):

Okay - the tragic death of an up-and-comer? Yes, that's ceratinly worthy of national attention. A sex scandal involving email hacking? A little tabloid-y, but yes. Worth noting for the tech element, I guess. A verbal bitch slapping contest between an established Queen Bee and a pert-breasted pretender to the throne? Bitch, please. Is this what TMZ and 'The Jersey Shore' have reduced us to? If I believed in a god, I wouldn't blame him for smiting us.

Nonetheless, I am all over Carol in this. Give up, Nicole. You aren't worthy of attempting awful banter and terrible puns with a woman who has been in the business since before you were a snot-nosed toddler, crying for your Mommy. Learn your place, gurl. In 25 years, if you're lucky, the shoe will be on the other foot and all the plastic surgery in the world won't hide the vain, empty shell beyond those pretty little eyes!

And Now For Something Completely Different:

The new fridge is here (it's a Frigidaire) and working! The food and condiments I managed to save are all in it, though it is slightly (.2 CF) larger than the Fridge of Despair and looks very empty. The freezer has already managed two batches of cubes since 2 PM and all is right with the world once again.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Philadelphia

Honestly... Not the Best Sandwich in America

Yesterday was K's birthday. She's 3 2 years older than Uncle P, but just like me, acts 10 (or more) years younger. Today, our two other BFFs (Q and Dale) treated K to a day in Center City Philadelphia, starting with a visit to the Reading Terminal Market and a stop at Tommy DiNic's for an Italian Pork Sandwich with Kohlrabi broccolirabe (voted 'Best Sandwich in America' by Travel Channel's cute bear Adam Richman). Yes, the roast pork was delicious, but the kohlrabi broccolirabe was cooked with some rather intense garlic, which made the sandwich a bit too garlickly to be actually good. I saved half and will remove most of the kohlrabi broccolirabe before I eat the rest. Truth be told, I've had a better sandwich at any number of more local places.

We wandered about the very crowded market for another hour or so and I ended up buying some delicious local cheese; a jar of seedless blackberry jam; an amazingly delicious black cherry balsamic vinegar and a homeopathic remedy for my poor mother's increasingly painful night leg cramps. I also got to taste a sample of an astoundingly delicious Maple/Bacon cupcake, which found both Dale and myself in foodie heaven.

Afterwards, we made out way to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which I haven't visited in a very long time. We wandered about the first floor which houses the museum's collection of Modern Art (much of which confounded K - and some of which confounded Uncle P) and then made our way up to the second floor. There we found some amazing and intricate Renaissance and early Dutch; English and American art and furniture. Nearly exhausted from all the walking, eating and carrying-on, we made our way home having spent a day with people we love very much... and that's what really mattered in the end. 

Between last night's rather wonderful date and today's visit to the very nearby Cradle of American Democracy, this weekend has proven to be one I will remember for quite some to come. Of course, tomorrow will involve involve bill-paying, grocery shopping, house cleaning and laundry... a bit of a let-down from what's come before. But I'm not complaining.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, Philly Style!

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The Gayest Things You'll See This Week (Probably NSFW Version)

Danell Levya

That's Cuban/American Danell Levya in the picture to your left. The 21 year-old gymnast is not just gorgeous but talented, having won the 2012 Men's All Around Gymnastics Gold medal at the London Olympics. Sigh... were I thirty (hell - twenty-five) years younger... Danell is also the 2011 World Champion on Parallel Bars. He has his own signature move on the Horizontal Bar: "The Jam-Dislocate-Hop-to-Undergrips," whatever the hell that means. Personally, I was lucky I was able to do a forward roll and clear the pommel horse (usually) in gym class. Of course, had I actually enjoyed gymnastics in school, I might have led a very different life. Those of you who are and/or were non-athletic know what I'm talking about. I've mentioned this before, but sex with someone like Danell has to be amazing, though only someone as athletically inclined could keep up with him. Much like I imagine sex with one of my other obsessions (link Very NSFW) would be. I don't care if kills me - I'll die with a smile on my face (yes, another TMI moment from Uncle P). There is no official word on Danell's sexuality, but that doesn't mean a man can't dream...

So, onto reality. Or at least, a fictional version of it. If you haven't figured it out by now, Uncle P is both a Bear and a Bear Fan. There is a hilarious new comedy/mystery/gay Webseries called "Where the Bears Are" on Vimeo. It is both hot and hilarious and I recommend it for all Bears and Bear lovers. Nelson (Ben Zook) wakes up to find a hot bartender (Ian Parks) in his bed, only to later discover the bartender's roommate dead in his bathtub. The first three episodes are available here. Below is a preview (via):

Where The Bears Are Teaser #1 from Where the Bears Are on Vimeo.

Finally, here's some new music from Matt Ryanz featuring gay porn star Derek Atlas (via):

It doesn't get much gayer than that -- even Uncle P's first foray into Philly's "gayborhood" in ten years wasn't as gay (all the guys were at the Jersey Shore, apparently - ugh!) as I'd hoped it would be. My Day Job friend and I still had ourselves a good time - at least we weren't sitting around our respective  houses just waiting for something interesting to happen.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Brunch at Lacroix

My dear friend Dale has a major milestone birthday tomorrow, so his sweet wife (also a dear friend) Q, set up brunch for a few friends and family at his favorite restaurant; Philadelphia's famed Lacroix in the Rittenhouse Hotel, today. There were about a dozen of us, only a few of whom had ever been to Lacroix, before. Uncle P, needless to say, had not, though I have been regaled with stories of incredible meals Dale and Q had eaten there.

Appetizers, a cold bar and a dessert bar were set up in the dining room, while the hot foods and frozen desserts were actually served in the kitchen. LaCroix specializes in "unique" dishes. And when I say "unique," I'm not kidding. Among the appetizers were fois-gras and granola; yogurt, long pepper and cashew shooters; bay leaf soda shooters; purple sweet potato salad; black garlic aioli, arugula and feta cheese crisps; beluga lentil salad; prosciutto and ricotta croissants and a unique chopped chicken and waffles salad. Mind you, all of these items were teeny-tiny in size. The croissants couldn't have been bigger than a dime and the silver-dollar pancakes were actually the size of a quarter. The hot foods included a crispy duck comfit; scallop sausage and traditional scrambled eggs and bacon. For dessert, there were tiny dulce-de-leche cheesecakes; strawberry shooters and an amazing flash-frozen raspberry foam which was dipped into liquid nitrogen before our eyes. 

Now, Uncle P is not an adventurous eater by any means. Oh, I'll try anything once, but there some foods I actively despise. Liver; mushrooms (I know - but they all taste like dirt to me); caviar (oily, salty and fishy - yuck); most fish and pesto (I'm gagging as I write this) and lamb (I can't even stand the smell of it cooking) are among the worst offenders. Still, I must admit to really loving just about everything I ate at Lacroix. And even when I didn't truly love something, the portions were small enough that a sip of my $15 (!!) mimosa and the next item took it away. Here's a review and sample menu from a few years ago. None of those items were on today's menu.

Of course, none of that really mattered. What was important was spending time with good friends in celebration. And Lacroix certainly provided the right atmosphere for that. Our attentive wait staff was on the ball, refolding our napkins every time we got up to get something else to eat and re-filling our water and coffee before they were actually empty. Considering what Q paid to feed all of us, I'd say she got her money's worth.

Happy Birthday, Dale! I love you, but next time, let's go to a traditional steak house. OK?

More, anon.
Prospero

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