Somebody Stop This Beyotch!

I have not seen the latest Disney musical Frozen. I have heard the songs and the parodies of the songs and I think I have a basic understanding of it's plot. And while I love Idina Menzel and the fact that Disney is still able to produce quality films in the digital age... enough, already!

If like Uncle P,  you live along the PA/NJ/NY portion of the infamous I-95 Corridor, then you know exactly what I am talking about. For the past hour, snow has been falling as part of the fourth major snow storm here in as many weeks. Some models project as much as 20 or more inches for the region. Snow here has passed beyond 'magical' and 'beautiful' and long moved on to "I F*CKING HATE WINTER!!"  Of course, it was weather like this which prompted my Sister and the BIL to move to Florida (a state mostly populated by retirees, lunatics, meth-heads and cannibal face-eaters). 

The days are slowly but surely getting longer and I go off of middle shift at the end of this month, which means I'll be going home during daylight once again. Both of these things give me hope, though I still remember the blizzard of March, 1996 and the multiple ice storms of 1998. I was then, as now, convinced winter would never end. I did then and still do, know better. This too, shall pass. Spring will arrive and summer in the Delaware Valley will be excruciatingly humid and we'll all be bitching about that, come mid-July. Still... Taos looks better and better with each passing storm...

If you are trapped in your house today, take some time to enjoy these hilariously (if only slightly) related videos:

This was just last week:

And just to make you feel a little better about this seemingly endless winter, the boys from MST3K have it covered:

Feeling a little warmer already...

More, anon.
Prospero

UPDATE: Uncle P has just learned that the Day Job is closed today! Woo-hoo! Sleeping in!

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The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Showtime's "Penny Dreadful"

After losing a massive (and, if I say so myself, really good) post about "American Horror Story: Coven" (how much do I love that Myrtle plays the theremin?)* thanks to a connectivity issue last week, I haven't really been all that inspired. But today I not only got caught up on AHS and it's insane, over-the-top season 3, I came across a couple of things I just had to mention and share.

First up (via) comes this Axe Body Spray parody which makes sure we all know that DADT is a thing of the past. And while the video below is purportedly a pro-Army shout out in the annual Army v Navy football game from 2008, it really doesn't get much gayer than this:

I can't believe that clip only has 19 thousand hits in 5 years.

And then (via) came this next clip; a teaser for Showtime's upcoming Not-The-League-of-Extraordinary-Gentleman show about literary characters banding together to fight evil, "Penny Dreadful" in which Broadway's original Spider-Man, Reeve Carney plays a decidedly bisexual Dorian Gray (I can only imagine that Oscar Wilde would be very pleased). See if you can spot the moment when Reeve gets licked:

For the first time in a long time, a Showtime series has gotten me hooked. "Shameless" hit me like a ton of bricks when I accidentally stumbled upon the marathon they ran the Sunday before the new season's premiere and I have become a huge fan. Let's see if they can hook me again (I'm guessing yes) with "Penny Dreadful." The show also stars Josh Hartnett; Timothy Dalton and Eva Green. Here are a couple more teasers:

Can't wait!

More, anon.
Prospero

*I'll have to talk about my obsession with the instrument and it's creator, sometime. It's a fascinating story that too few people know (as well as the subject of a musical in progress from yours truly).

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Homoerotic Spanish & Pervy Kiwi Advertising (Possibly NSFW Edition)

It's not like advertisers never knew we existed as a target audience. It's just that now it's finally cool to acknowledge our dollars may well be 'pink,' but they're also just as green as everyone else's.

And while neither of these ads is specifically targeting gay audiences, there is a certainly homoerotic quality to the running pants ad (via - link may be NSFW) from Spain's ES Sportswear, I've embedded below. Loaded with crotch and ass shots, butt-slapping, chest-stroking and arm-linking; its rather obvious to whom ES really wants sell their brand.

Then there's this parody commercial purporting to be for product from New Zealand, featuring a spokesperson whose highly exaggerated Kiwi accent turns it into something hilariously and possibly NSFW pervy (also via):

Some NZ folks are unhappy about that clip, while others find it as childishly hilarious as Uncle P did. It was probably made by an Aussie... or a Tasmanian. (Ha! I bet you were expecting a Warner Brothers joke there. Nope! Pwn'd). 

I almost did another Retro-Review of a recent Indy and Oscar favorite tonight, but I'm still mulling parts of it over. There was some beautiful imagery; lots of wry humor and some beautifully underplayed performances, but it all seemed a bit too self-aware. I'll elaborate soon (or not - it all depends).

More, anon.

Prospero

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The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Probably Not Gay but Very Cute

The Steampunk Cyberman Cosplayer on your left is probably not gay, but he sure is cute. I'd even go so far as to say he's adorable. The fact that he's a Steampunk aficionado only makes him that much more adorable in Uncle P's book. Of course, very long time readers will remember that Caliban's Revenge started as a journal about my Steampunk-inspired production of Thorten Wilder's "The Skin of Our Teeth," way back in 2008.

Atlanta once again hosted the annual DragonCon this past weekend. Unlike many fan conventions across the country, DragonCon is less about the major studios and more about the fanboys (and fangirls) and cosplayers. Epbot, where this image came from, has loads of copslayer pics from this year's event. I wish I had the time and money to devote to creating the kinds amazing costumes on display at DragonCon. You know I'd put some of these folks to shame.

The delightfully attractive young man in the elaborate 'Dr. Who'-inspired costume on the left actually has nothing to do with the rest of the post, other than to cement Uncle P's authority in determining what is or isn't gay (or at least of interest to other gay geeks). And trust me, the videos I am about to share, are VERY gay.

Mod Carousel is a Seattle-based 'boylesque" troupe made of three performance artists who go by the names of Luminous Pariah, Paris Original and Trojan Original. Their most recent video is a cover of Miley Cyrus' song "Can't Be Tamed." I suppose it's meant to be a statement on the powers of gay unicorns when it comes to LGBT civil rights. I just think it's wildly amusing (via):

Of course, Mod Carousel first made a splash with their gay response to Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" (link definitely NSFW) video, which features naked women dancing and prancing about the Canadian singer (may be NSFW):

I imagine that this summer's unintentionally funniest exercise video also had just a little influence on the boys from Mod Carousel:

I don't know whether it's deliberate or just an ironic coincidence that the two videos just happen to coincide with Miley's and Robin's controversial VMA performance (though music videos - like movies - are usually shot well in advance of release), but it seems like Mod Carousel have managed to take advantage of the still-talked about controversy to its fullest effect. In the end, all that matters to me is how gay they are. And man-oh-man, are they GAY!

More, anon.
Prospero

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The Gayest Nonsense You'll See This Holiday Weekend

Yowza!

And a little more shameless self-promotion. But first:

Miley has nothing on another former Disney star who is turning up the sexual heat. That's Zac Efron (High School Musical) as a ripped fratboy in the upcoming movie Neighbors, which is about a couple of new parents (Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne) who are forced (huh?) to move next door to a college fraternity house. I knew (and even dated) some hot boys in college. None of them were this hot. Damn! The adorable young teen heartthrob has blossomed into a stone cold hottie, right before our eyes (and thankfully, the cameras). Of course, he now wants to be considered a 'serious' actor (Nicole Kidman peed on him, how much artier can one get?).  I don't know how much playing a college boy with an eight-pack in a raunchy comedy will do that for him. I just know he can come to my house and grill anything he wants. Hell, I'd even let him drink all my beer.

Oh, I know what you're thinking. Listen, Uncle P may be old, but I'm not dead! There may be snow on the roof, etc., etc., etc... To be honest, I have no problem with my neighbors' whisperings. It's only because they're jealous. Better a 'Cougay' than taking a dirt nap, eh?

And speaking of gay (wow, what a segue), openly gay horse trainer, performer and Discovery Channel reality star Jake Nodar has a very gay new video out called "Applause Recap" in which he not only appears in his own take on Lady Gaga's latest single, but may well prove that one should never Gaga while driving:

For more from Nodar, you can visit his YouTube page, here.

I spent my day cooking an old, all-day recipe of my grandmother's, which I only make twice a year because it takes so long. And honestly, if you're going to do that much work, you might as well make a big-ass (16 Qt) batch. We'll have it at least three more times this week and the rest will be frozen in smaller batches for future consumption. And of course, it only gets better the longer it sits... and it was already pretty danged amazing... a childhood comfort food that will always remind me of family and unconditional love. I'm so glad this not among the recipes Grandmom B took to her grave.

Oh, and if you missed yesterday's Malaprop Mom post, you should check it out. Apparently, MM's biggest audiences are in Russia, Poland and Latvia! I can only assume they are reading it to improve their English. I hope it doesn't confuse them, instead. 

More, anon.
Prospero

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On Kaiju, Cthulhu, Lovecraft and del Toro

Many of you know that Uncle P is a Lovecraft fan. So it should be no surprise that a few years back I was very excited to learn that Guillermo del Toro was planning to adapt Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness" for the screen, I nearly peed my pants with joy. As far as I am concerned, del Toro's 2006 film Pan's Labyrinth is the first film masterpiece of the 21st Century. The Mexican-born director (and fellow monster-movie geek) has made some of the most visually arresting genre films ever made, including Blade II and the Hellboy movies. 

If anyone could successfully bring Lovecraft's horrifying monsters to the screen, it would be del Toro. Others have tried. In 1970, Sandra Dee; Dean Stockwell; Ed Begley, Sr; Sam Jaffe and Talia Shire starred in the rather boring and not scary The Dunwich Horror.  In the 80's, Stuart Band and Brian Yuzna made the first of many Lovecraft-inspired films, Re-Animator; an hilariously sick, gory and over-the-top film released in 1985 without a rating. It was followed by From Beyond and several other films, including Bride of Re-Animator and Beyond Re-Animator, all starring genre legend Jeffrey Combs. The underrated and very clever 1991 HBO movie Cast a Deadly Spell saw Fred Ward as noir detective Phillip Lovecraft in an alternate-history version of the 1940's where magic is commonly used by almost everyone and a real-estate developer is using zombies to build a housing development which is really just a front for a cult bent on reviving The Old Ones. And John Carpenter's 1994 film In the Mouth of Madness combines elements of both Lovecraft and King in a tale of a publisher searching for his missing best-selling horror author in a bizarre New England town where nothing is what it seems to be. Lovecraft's work is even referenced in Sam Raimi's Evil Dead films. While some of these movies succeed more than others, none has managed to truly capture the abject horrors Lovecraft describes in his stories and novels. A del Toro version had the potential to do just that. Sadly, the studio backing the project got scared off by such a big-budget production which would limit audiences by requiring an "R" rating in the U.S. and the project was nixed.

Happily, it left the director free to make a movie he was only supposed to produce. The kaiju/giant robot mash-up, Pacific Rim. Inspired by the Toho Studios post-nuclear giant monster (kaiju means 'strange beast' in Japanese) movies of the 50's and 60's, Pacific Rim will undoubtedly be little more than what it advertises itself to be: A big, splashy, FX-laden 3D movie about giant robots battling giant monsters. And watching the latest trailer (below), who could want anything more. Destruction! Giant monsters! Giant robots! I am so there. Watch this one in Full Screen and the sound turned up!

Sweet Mia and I, after being friends for a while now, may have to make this our first movie date.

PS - I am a sucker for Fred Ward and I actually really like Cast a Deadly Spell. It's funny and very, very clever. Plus, David Warner!



And while wildly uneven, Carpenter's take on Lovecraft is at least fun to watch:



More, anon.
Prospero

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A Literal Flashmob & The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

Illuminati?

Search "Flash Mob" on The Revenge and you will find 13 entries (including this one). And while "Flash Mob" hardly has as many entries as say "Movies" (587); "Horror" (284) or even my beloved "Zombies" (101), it's still an intriguing idea and something I desperately want to plan. And while some posts combine "Flash Mob" with entries like "Zombies;" "The Gayest Thing" and "Music Video," there are plenty of ways to read about what I call a "Mini-Obsession."

One of the very first Flash Mobs to go viral was Improv Everywhere's Frozen Grand Central. I immediately loved what they were doing:

They've since gone on to several "No Pants Subway Ride" events; a board meeting in the middles of an office supply store; synchronized car alarms and any other number of insane and amusing events, all of which can be seen on YouTube. Since they made their big splash at Grand Central, they returned to help celebrate the fabled and historic terminals 100th anniversary with a synchronized light show, literally 'flashing' their audience (see, I know you all have minds like mine, and I do not mean this). Via comes this clip of "Grand Central Human-Powered Light Show:"

I'll bet you're glad I didn't link to that Bondi Beach video again, aren't you? 

Since I'm already talking about videos and "The Gayest Thing," below (also via) is Sherry Vine's latest bit of nonsense; a parody of Tina Turner's 'Private Dancer.' Really? A parody of a 30 year-old song? Why not? It works, mostly because the hilarious lyrics are about the men gay boys (who, me?) lusted after in the 70's and 80's. And because Vine never takes any of it seriously, mocking both her performance and the production values in a very silly and obviously last-minute bit of foolishness. Enjoy:

There is another 'snowpocalypse' predicted for the East Coast tomorrow and Saturday (which would cause grief for me both personally (postponing a much-anticipated second date with T) and professionally (you don't want to know). If the fear-mongering TV Weatherfolk are wrong (as my rational, non-ratings-seeking, airport meteorologist friend Chris says they are), then I will hopefully not be posting tomorrow night as I have something much more exciting planned (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

More, anon.
Prospero

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Which Is More Gruesome? Plus: Commercial of the Year

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan Winning in Scary MoVie

So, I found both of these trailers for upcoming movies on Towleroad, each accompanied by some brief copy/snark, but no real discussion. So I thought I'd discuss them.

First, Towleroad said "This is what Lindsay Lohan has been reduced to:" and linked to the trailer for the fourth sequel the increasingly awful Scary Movie franchise. Created in 2000 by the once-funny Wayans Brothers and since obtained by the once-funny Zucker Brothers, the first two Scary Movie movies parody the Scream  franchise. But as they made more films, they incorporated move Horror subgenres. By the time Sheen first appeared in the series, he was doing his pre-douche Mel Gibson in Signs. And Zucker perennial Leslie Nielsen was The President as if  played by Dubya, himself. Even into the last movie in the series (2006's Scary Movie 4), they all featured under-recognized comedic genius Ana Farris as Cindy Campbell and "Ally McBeal" alum Regina King as her best friend, Brenda Meeks (who dies in every one of the movies, much like Kenny on "South Park"). Six years later, David Zucker and Pat Proft are still trying to milk the property for all it's worth with Scary MoVie (i.e. Scary Movie 5):

 

At least Farris and King were smart enough  to stay away this time, while I imagine Lohan and Sheen are as desperate for attention as they always have been.

Horror parody isn't easy and can never be lazy. Comedic horror is even harder, though writer/directors Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson made rather lucrative careers for themselves by getting it so very right. As did hottie hyphenate Eli Roth (who's debut feature Cabin Fever was both hilarious and horrific), who recently produced; co-wrote and starred in the English language debut of Chilean director Nicolas Lopez, Aftershock. The story of an American tourist looking for a good time (Roth) who finds himself among the survivors of a massive earthquake Aftershock soon devolves into a kill-or-be-killed survival story. As with most projects in which Roth is involved, the loss of humanity and gory, violent mayhem ensues.

Yikes! While I find that first trailer scary because it's so sad, I find the second one scary because it probably isn't far from reality. And what a tag line! "The only thing scarier than Mother Nature is human nature." Roth was supposed to film Stephen King's non-zombie zombie novel "Cell" but the deal fell through. I'd love to see the "Bear Jew" take the zombie genre for a spin. 

And just to lighten the mood on Christmas Eve eve, though I'm embarrassed to admit that I cannot remember where I found it, here is something of an anomaly for me: a commercial I actually love. Most TV advertising is insipid at best and downright awful at worst (particularly on the local level). Occasionally, some ad agency will come up with a clever and memorable campaign. While rather  rare in the U.S., truly memorable and clever commercials seem the domain of Europe and South America. This one, from a Belgian newspaper group, is downright brilliant:

There is hope for the printed word, yet. 

More, anon. 

Prospero

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