Sorry - Monsters Are Still Real, Kids.

Faneuil Hall - Boston, Massachusetts.

So... Yesterday, another insane person (or persons) perpetrated another horrific crime against innocent people, this time against those who were attending and/or participating in the Boston Marathon.  I needed a day to process yet another horrific event before I could comment on it. And here's what I think.

The first time I ever went to Boston, I was working for a facility which housed mentally and physically disabled people. It was what I thought I wanted to do with my life right out of school. The 'school' really turned out to be a place where rich people dumped off the children of whom they were ashamed, but that's another story for another time. 

Anyway, a client was going home for the Holidays and I and another 'Houseparent' were asked to accompany him on the short flight to Boston. We flew in in the early morning morning, dropped the client off with his family and had nine hours to explore and play before flying home again. We shopped at Faneuil Hall; we walked all around downtown and ended up in a seafood place because the young lady I was with (i have no memory of her name) wanted chowder. I hate clam chowder and I have no idea what I ate - probably a fried platter. But I liked the city's vibe and wanted to go back.

In college, my friends Terry and Marly and I drove up to visit our friend Brian at his grandparents' once state-of-the-art mid-century home in Amherst. The next day we went into Boston and I am proud to say that my 20-something self did pretty good navigating the insanity that is Boston traffic. There was also an infamous 'research' trip to Salem (we were doing The Crucible and we left on Thursday, the 12th, after Mary called my new job, weeping and saying she was my sister and that Grandmom had died, so I could leave early*) which is very close to Boston. Of course, my dear K has family ties to the area, and I've been there on more than one occasion with her. It's a good town, filled with college students; teachers and professors and businesses of every kind, just like any major city. There are good neighborhoods and bad ones; fun things to do and lame things to do; history, art, theatre; shopping; great bars - Boston has always meant a very good time, every time I've been there.

So please bear with me when I say that I can't imagine the horror, the pain and the suffering inflicted on people who were, up until that moment, also experiencing Boston as a very good time. The fear and confusion must have been so intense. And so much pain (both physical and emotional). Horrible!

And for what? As of this writing, we still don't know who or why. Of course, the why almost doesn't matter. Did 'God' tell someone to do this to advance a political agenda? Or did a dog claiming to be God tell someone to do this so someone will finally acknowledge his pathetic existence? Was a spurned lover out to kill an ex who was running in the marathon or in the crowd? Maybe an angry, disqualified runner from the past wanted to exact his revenge. It doesn't matter.

What matters are the people killed and maimed; people whose lives have been irrevocably and horribly changed. And whether this was the act of an organized group of religious fanatics or of a loner writing a manifesto in a woodshed, it was ultimately an act of madness. When we were children, our parents did their best to convince us that there are no monsters under the bed or in the closet or hiding behind the coats on the coat-rack. "Monsters aren't real," they told us. But they lied. While there may be no green-skinned bogey-men with fangs and claws waiting to rend us to pieces, there are other monsters who never fail to prove their existence. In schools, malls, movie theaters and major sporting events; on trains and in office buildings; in the air and on the the ground; the monsters keep shouting "I am here! I am to be feared! I am a Monster!" 

Here's the thing: Don't fear the monster. He doesn't deserve your fear. Find the monster and punish him, so other monsters may think twice. I know there are far more good people in the world than bad, just as there are more beautiful things than ugly things. There's great art and literature and philanthropists and scientists who are working to sure disease and end suffering. There are dew-covered spiderwebs spilling prismatic rainbows in the morning sun and exotically plumed birds wading in warm swamps; romantic sunsets; sparkling beaches; fields of wildflowers... you get the idea. And we all should be able to take time to revel in the good things about life, without worrying if a bomb is sitting in that trashcan on the corner or if the guy sitting next to me at the AMC24 has gun under his unseasonal coat. 

I'm offering no solutions - that's for smarter folks than I to sort out. Of course, without bad things; without pain and suffering; we wouldn't be able to appreciate joy and pleasure, would we? Be glad for every day you wake up. Stop taking things so seriously. Smile.  Let the monsters know we're on to them and that we have no intention of letting them win.

Call me "Pollyana." Call me a cock-eyed optimist. Call me (gasp!) a Liberal. I really think Lennon and McCartney had it right:

Oh - I also think we really need to overhaul the mental heath care system in this country, ASAP. After Reagan dismantled it in the 80's, it's about time we overhauled and reinstituted comprehensive mental health care for those who may pose a danger to society.

More, anon.
Prospero

*Another trip worthy of it's own post.

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The Power of the Media?

America's Moral Downfall?

A certain douchebag politician who never had a chance in his recent bid for President, has managed to use the recent Supreme Court hearings in a truly pathetic attempt to somehow remain relevant. I won't deign to name this particularly loathsome Republican, but I'm not above linking to hilarious pictures and definitions of him. Anyway, yesterday, said D-bag came out and used something Joe Bidenhas previously praised to defame Marriage Equality, 'blaming' the 1998 sit-com "Will and Grace" for the demise of "traditional marriage." Talk about grasping at straws. I won't even get started about how "traditional marriage" has absolutely NOTHING to do with Christianity, since marriage pre-dates recorded history. But his comments got me wondering about how modern media has helped change minds about the LGBT people.

Truly, before "Will and Grace," there were very few positive portrayals of queer folk on TV. Yes, there was that trans character on "All in the Family." But Beverly was murdered in a later episode. Then Jody came along in "Soap," though as progressive as Billy Crystal's character was, he still wasn't portrayed in the most flattering of terms. Even the theatre and films of the time didn't help. The play (and subsequent movie) The Boys in the Band portrayed gay men as tortured, unhappy and unfulfilled. It wouldn't be until 1997, when comedienne Ellen DeGeneres came out both in person and on her show, that a gay character was portrayed in a truly positive light - and it very nearly destroyed her career. The following year saw the premiere of "Will and Grace," the story of a straight woman and her GBF. Often hilarious; occasionally subversive; loaded with double entendres and populated with relatable characters, "Will and Grace" introduced successful (if neurotic) gay characters to middle America.

Sure, so-called 'Queer Cinema' has been around since the 70's, it would be 2005 before a major studio released a film about gay love. Oscar-winning director Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain was the film we all hoped would open people's eyes. And while it was both a critical and financial success, it really didn't do much to help the cause. Of course, the unhappy ending didn't help. You're gay? Oh, then you'll either die at the hands of homophobic a-holes, or you'll end up alone for the rest of your life. Not very encouraging. And while Showtime successfully adapted the British series "Queer as Folk" into a gay, soft-core soap-opera (followed soon after by The L-Word), the audience for the show wasn't nearly as wide as a broadcast network show. Often naked Bear Richard Hatch may well have been the first winner of "Survivor," but that didn't actually sit well with Maude in Milwaukee.

Another 5 years would pass before there we saw a truly positive gay couple on ABC's "Modern Family." Once again, Middle America found itself with happy and loving gay men in their living rooms every week. 

Still, none of these films or shows were the first to bring up Same Sex Marriage. We have to go back to 1972 for that. Sociologist Alvin Toffler wrote the book Future Shock in 1970, and it was adapted into a 'documentary' (narrated by Orson Welles). I was 12 or 13 when I was first shown Future Shock in school, and I giggled along with my classmates at the scene where two men got married, even though I secretly hoped that such a thing might actually be possible. 

So I have to ask Frothy (who is only 3 years older than Uncle P), is "Will and Grace" truly the first time you got the idea that Same Sex Marriage was a possibility? Or were you so so horribly scarred by a screening of Future Shock, that you felt it your duty to prevent people who loved each other from sharing the same rights as other people who loved each other? I honestly wished I believed in hell, so I could tell him to go there, though it's nice to imagine him roasting in Dante's 8th Level forever.

From Ireland, comes a bit of media Frothy would probably lose his mind over:


More, anon.
Prospero

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Failure and Inspriration

Cinnamon Hazelnut Mochachino Rolls w/Cream Cheese Icing

It's been a while since I've blogged about food and/or the Day Job; and since we do have an 'any excuse for a party' policy, tomorrow is NOT a Valentine's Day Party in deference to those without Valentines of their own. Instead, it's a Red Food Party. I had no idea what I was going to make and had several ideas bouncing around and finally settled on a chocolate version of a cream-cheese iced cinnamon roll. But when I went to buy my ingredients, I went in a slightly different direction. The recipe called for a certain brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread, but I found a new brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread and a mocha cappuccino version. I debated... and decided to go with the flashier flavor and went off-recipe, even adding an ingredient. And I'm not sure it worked. In the end, I didn't care for the flavor of the spread (it had an odd after-taste), though I loved the cream-cheese frosting, even though I forgot to add the red food coloring -- and now that I know how easy it is to make, I may try my hand at a carrot cake.* The rolls look pretty good (yes, that's an actual picture of my finished product, taken with my Android). Of course, the ultimate judges will be my co-workers. If no one eats them, I'll know they're a fail. I'll try them again in a smaller batch, according to the original recipe.

So, I know I promised you something inspiring and here it is (via) comes the below video, part of The Campaign for Southern Equality's WE DO campaign, in which LGBT couples across the South apply for and are denied marriage licenses in an effort to raise awareness of the need for Marriage Equality. 

Matt and Raymie apply (and are rejected for) a marriage license in Morristown, TN. Of course,the best parts of this clip are Raymie's sweet, heartfelt speech; their families' support and the sweet, smiling clerks who are obviously supportive. Get your tissues out, (because you're gonna cry, pervs!):

How much have you fallen in love with Matt and Raymie? So I guess I'm officially making Matt and Raymie my Valentines, this year. T and I have yet to have a second date -- thanks to Nemo (ugh!), so I thought I'd celebrate another couple's love, instead. Thanks guys, for making your voices heard; for showing the faces of true love; for giving all of us hope. I hope the two of you have a wonderful and romantic Valentine's Day.

*Uncle P's favorite cake, which his cake baker sister never makes him...

OH NOES!!!  MASSIVE FAIL!!!!

I took a small break from writing to get a drink and finish cleaning up the kitchen when I found I had made a fatal flaw! What I thought was a bottle of ground cinnamon was actually a bottle of ground cumin! No wonder I hated them! Here's a cooking lesson well-learned. Double Check the Label! And now I must make a trip to the grocery store for something on my way in. Crap! Double Crap! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

More, anon.

Prospero

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When Did You Know?

Go, Speed Racer, Go!

Nostalgia fully rears its bittersweet head in three... two... one:

I don't think I knew what it meant when, at age 10, I had my first crush on a boy (more on that, in a bit). In those days, my neighborhood friends and I would take every chance we could to look at somebody's dad's Playboy or other titty magazine, carrying on like the 10, 11 and 12 year-olds we were. For me, it wasn't so much the titties as it was the thought of being "naughty." I didn't understand the significance of that, either.

Life for kids who would now be referred to as "Tweens" was very different in the early 70's. We knew the future was coming, bringing technology with it. We had no idea of when or what or how much that technology was going to completely change the entire world in a few short decades. There were no video games then and there were 3 main channels, PBS and a couple of VHF channels (what my mother still refers to as "the off channels," for some reason). Even though we were very early cable TV subscribers (which meant we got off channels from New York!), we still had less than a dozen channel choices. There was no HBO; Showtime or Cinemax. In fact, the first time a friend told me his cousin got a channel that played uncut movies, 24 hours a day called "Home Box Office," I thought he was making it up to try and impress me or something. Computers were huge machines that took up entire rooms, though they had moved on from punch cards to tape and VCRs were still 8 years away. Anyone who has smelled the unmistakeable aroma of purple mimeograph ink knows exactly what I'm talking about. There was no CNN or FAUX News; no Google, Facebook or Twitter (words which actually had entirely different associations, then). No smartphones, tablets or laptops. Hell, there weren't even faxes. The Olympics were tape-delayed even then, but there was no way to spoil the results. I didn't know that gay people even existed at 10. I didn't even know that I was one of them because I had no real frame of reference for what I felt.

So, now onto to my first crush on a boy. Or rather, I should say: a fictional boy. Back when there were far less than than 500 channels, one's after school TV choices were limited. Channel 10 (at the time, CBS) had Gene London, a live studio show that I never really cared for. Channel 6 (ABC) had "Pixanne," who played cartoons, but was really for younger kids. VHF Channel 48 had "Bozo"* and classic Warner Brothers' Looney Tunes; Hannah Barbera and MGM cartoons: Bugs; Daffy; Elmer; Snagglepuss; Doggie Daddy; Quick Draw McGraw and Tom and Jerry. But VHF channel 17 had Wee Willy Webber, the go-to guy for anime and kaiju (not that those terms were even known here, then) shows. "Ultraman;" "Gigantor;" "Astro Boy;" "Kimba, the White Lion" and "Speed Racer."

Young Uncle P loved all of these shows and I knew and loved all the characters. But then... there was a special Two Part "Speed Racer" where Speed and Racer X (secretly Speed's supposedly dead brother) are in race through a South American rain forest (don't ask me why, I don't remember). What I do remember is at the end of Part I, Speed crashed the Mach Five and had to make his way through the jungle in a torn shirt. Then, in Part II, Speed's shirt had literally disintegrated and he was shirtless. And I... well, I wanted to be in that animated jungle helping cartoon Speed (and maybe even kissing his boo-boos). Again, at the time, I had no idea what those feelings meant. But that episode has stuck with me all these years, though it wasn't until much later that I managed to put those particular pieces together in a very "Aha!" kind of moment.

The summer before high school was when I knew for sure and it was my then best friend who helped me figure it out. It was my high school Theatre and Accelerated English teacher (a lovely and brilliant man who has created the top-rated high school theatre program in the country) who was the first adult to recognize, acknowledge and tell me that it was okay to be gay. He also taught me more about theatricality than any professor I ever had (not to disparage any of the men and women who have taught me over the years).

I was pretty much out to most of my friends in college, though I sometimes (like many of us) eased them into it by telling them I was bi-sexual, first. I came out to my mother and sister rather late in life, both of whom already knew (they always do) and both of whom still love me exactly the same as they always had before I told them. Of course, at Uncle P's age, one doesn't give a Jolly Roger what anyone thinks (except you, faithful readers - and even then... ). I've never had to actually come out at my current Day Job. People just kind of figured it out for themselves and completely accepted it and me as a package; far more interested in how I do my job than who I love.

I know that at least a few of you folks play for my team (or at least lend your athletic support). So I really am hoping for some responses to my questions, tonight. 

First - gay or straight, who was your first crush? It can't be any more embarrassing than a Japanese cartoon character (and yes, Betty; Veronica; Betty and Wilma count, but so does Racer X).

Second - When did you know for certain that you were gay or straight? 

Third and Fourth - If you are LGBT, when did you come out and how has your life gotten better (or - though I hope not - worse) since you did?

Please leave your answers in the comments! Meanwhile, if you are reading this and still struggling with coming out, or want to know how much coming out is a good thing, please watch this (via):

More, anon.
Prospero

*One day I MUST relate the story of my sister and I appearing on "Bozo" - Uncle P's Television Debut!

You have read this article Anime / Cartoons / Crushes / Gay / Kaiju / LGBT / Love / Nonsense / Nostalgia / Ramblings / The Gayest Thing / TMI / TV with the title Love. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2012/08/when-did-you-know.html. Thanks!

Bloggers Can Make a Difference

Dan Pearce writes a blog called SDL which stands for 'Single Dad Laughing.' I haven't had much of a chance to read the rest of his posts, but his recent post called I'm Christian, unless you're gay has gone viral and caused quite a stir. To date, he has received over 5,000 comments on that single post. While many of those comments were negative, the vast majority have been positive.

It's an amazing piece and if you haven't already read it, I strongly suggest that you do so. The post isn't about Christianity or homosexuality. It's about Humanity. It's about how we all need to treat one another as we we would want ourselves to be treated. It's about the "Golden Rule." It's about realizing that our differences are what make us the same. But mostly, it's about love. 

I have an amazing family. My mother, sister and brother-in-law are amazingly supportive of me and love me for who I am. Of course, my family isn't limited to the people to whom I am related by blood. My family includes some amazing human beings (D; K; Q; Dale; Tracy and a few others) who genuinely love me (and whom I love so very much). I am also lucky enough have a wide group of friends who love me, as well. And I love all of them. I also happen to have a day job where my co-workers not only respect me, but don't care about my sexuality. It's simply a non-issue. In fact, most of them don't understand why anyone's sexuality matters. I think of myself as truly blessed to have have all of these wonderful people in my life, even though I would never consider myself to be religious in any way. Blessings don't have to be supernatural to matter.

Am I still anti-religion? Definitely. Religion has been the source of more social strife than any other issue in the history of civilization. Millions have been killed in the name of "God." Families have been torn apart; lives have been shattered and countless people have committed suicide because they just couldn't reconcile who they were with who their religions said they should be. But I am not about to condemn anyone for what he or she believes. What I will condemn is using what they believe to justify hating someone else for believing differently. 

Today, Dan posted a video featuring some of the comments he received on his post. Watch the whole thing. The fact that this eloquent man changed so many minds gives me hope. 

Thank you, Dan. And thank you to all of my readers who get it. Keep fighting the good fight, folks. Love is all you need, as some band sang way back when.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Unconditional Love

The Most Adorable Boy on TV

I have already shared what I'm about to talk about on Facebook, but I think it deserves as wide an audience as possible, so I'm talking about here as well.

You all know I've officially declared Darren Criss The Most Adorable Boy on Television (and one of the few reasons I still watch "Glee"). Uncle P may be getting on in years, but that doesn't mean he can't appreciate beautiful (not to mention talented) things when he sees them. But this post isn't about me. Or Darren Criss. It's about two amazing parents and a very self-aware child who they love no matter what.

You may remember Nerdy Apple Bottom, the NY wife of a cop who defended her young son's choice to wear a Daphne (of "Scooby-Doo") costume to school last Halloween. Now comes this post from Gets Too Obsessed, who told the story of her six year-old son's crush on Blaine (Criss' "Glee" character) and his admission that he only wants to kiss boys. Here's an excerpt:

Then the other day we were traveling across the state listening to the Warblers album (of course), and in the middle of Candles, my son pipes up from the back seat.

“Mommy, Kurt and Blaine are boyfriends.”

“Yes, they are,” I affirm.

“They don’t like kissing girls.  They just kiss boys.”

“That’s true.”

“Mommy, they are just like me.”

“That’s great, baby.  You know I love you no matter what?”

“I know…” I could hear him rolling his eyes at me.

When we got home I recapped this conversation to his Dad, and we stood simply looking into each other’s eyes for a moment.  Then we smiled.

“So if at 16 he wants to make a big announcement at the dinner table, we can say ‘You told us when you were six.  Pass the carrots’ and he’ll be disappointed we stole his big dramatic moment,” my husband says with a laugh and hugs me.

Only time will tell if my son is gay, but if he is I am glad he’s mine.  I am glad he has been born into our family.  A family full of people who will love and accept him.  People who will never want him to change.  With parents who will look forward to dancing at his wedding.

And I have to admit, Blaine would be a really cute son-in-law.

Wow! Just... Wow! I can't imagine better parents than these two. Can you imagine how much better the world would be if every parent was so accepting, so loving and so nonjudgmental? The Ann Coulters, Rick Perrys, Rick Santorums and Michelle Bachmanns of the world would cease to have relevance. NOM, Maggie Gallagher and her supporters would be universally ridiculed and the Westboro Baptists would melt like the Wicked Witch under a bucket of love. 

And to be honest, I can't blame the boy for crushing on Blaine:

Here's the thing: No matter who or what your child is; no matter who or how they love; no matter what happens in their lives, your children are a direct reflection of you. Love your children; support your children and let them know that no matter what, you will always love them. Gay, straight, bi or trans, your children deserve your love and support no matter what.

To parents who don't get it, or think that God hates their gay/bi/trans child - you are wrong. And you know that in your heart. Please share that post with everyone you know. Love is never wrong. Hate is always wrong. Don't confuse the two. 

Another rant over.

More, anon.

Prospero

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The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

A mixed bag of gay stuff tonight...

That's Bradley Cooper as 'Faceman' in the The A-Team movie. Dirk Benedict, star of the original "Battleship Galactica" and the ridiculous 1973 Sci-Fi movie Sssssss , played the role on the 80's TV show (which I am quite proud to say I have never seen). The show also starred the late George Peppard, Dwight Schultz and Mr. T. From what I understand, the show was about a group of disgraced soldiers out to prove their innocence while working as mercenaries for ordinary folks in trouble. Or some such nonsense. I didn't see much TV in the '80's. I was either rehearsing, performing or out dancing at City Gardens* (the Trenton Alt Music dance club/dive where I first saw Sinead O'Conner and where John Stewart served me drinks at least once a week for a couple of years). Needless to say, 'The A-Team' had little to offer a New Age Theatre Arts major who was much more interested in Hamlet than Hannibal, Faceman, B.A. and Murdoch. I was certainly aware of the show, which lasted a paltry 3 seasons on CBS, but couldn't have cared less about it.

And honestly, I almost couldn't care less about the movie version (didn't anyone learn anything from The Dukes of Hazard?), except that it stars Cooper and District 9's Sharlto Copely. Oh, and Liam Neesom takes on the George Peppard role. Seriously. Did Natasha's** death effect Neesom's judgment so profoundly that he can no longer tell when he's making a crappy movie? Still... Bradley Cooper. Woof! I seriously doubt I'll be seeing The A-Team either in a theatre; on DVD; On Demand or even on Spike when it undoubtedly premieres there by next February.

Okay - you got me. I'll be watching for some shirtless Bradley. So sue me.

Anyway, from gay fantasy to gay reality, singer/songwriter Jason Mraz (whose music has not been in my personal Top 10) is now officially one of my heroes. Here's his PSA for We Give A Damn, a group of primarily straight celebs who believe in LGBT rights:

Celebrities including Cyndi Lauper, Judith Light, Anna Pacquin (who recently came out as Bisexual) and Wanda Sykes have all lent their voices to the cause. And speaking of causes...

A San Francisco Bay Area high school was recently targeted by the disgusting Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church in their continued attempts to blame all of our country's (if not the world's) ills on gays. Gunn High School students, who were warned in advance of WBC's planned protest, took to the streets in response. Here (via) is their beautiful response:

That makes me almost wish I had gone to Gunn, though I expect the reaction may have been a little different in the late 70's. Still, it's heartwarming to know that there are right-minded youth out there who not only recognize what is right, but are willing to show it.The positive energy expended by the hundreds in attendance surely outweighed any negativity the WBC expended in their hateful and misguided messages.

This coming Sunday is Easter, the Holiest Day on the Christian Calender (even though it's celebrated on a different day every year). Considering all the crap the Catholic Church has been trying to hide, re-blame and deny lately, I think I'll celebrate by seeing Clash of the Titans, in an effort to reaffirm my own Paganism. Visit me tomorrow on The Zombie Zone, where I'm sure to offend someone with a comparison of the Resurrection to Zombieism.

* Remind me to tell you sometime about City Gardens, Q, Devo and the Vampires... its a rather disturbing little tale.

** Corrected on 4/4/10 - as pointed out by my dear Stephen at Post Apocalyptic Bohemian. Thanks, Love!

More, anon.
Prospero

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