Friday Gratuities, Faux Holidays, Cooking and Other Assorted Nonsense

Nature

Let's start with some gratuitous Nature porn, shall we?

I found that picture on this site, listed as an "Epic Win!" I've seen this photographer's work before (if you know his name, please let me know so I can credit him). He specializes in shooting ocean waves in motion and has captured some amazing things, so I don't doubt to the veracity of the photo and I don't think it's been Photoshopped. Light through water is exceptionally beautiful and this wave looks like magically stained glass thanks to a remarkably colorful sunset. Luck, skill, timing and being in the right place at the right time.

Now, I know some folks who would say "God made that wave like that." Um... Okay. If you want to think that, I'm not going to stop you, but actually the photographer used a combination of science, art and nature to capture that moment when the three come together to create something extraordinary as that photograph. Truth is, art couldn't exist without science. Paint; photographs; videotape; compact discs; Mp3s... all of them impossible without chemistry, biology and physics. And quite honesty, it is science that proves how we exist, even if it still doesn't exactly know why.

"Ai-Ooo-Gah!"

And speaking of beautiful (and slightly less philosophical) things, it's time to move on to some gratuitous male flesh. Because you see, Uncle P has fallen in lus... er, uh... love with  ballet dancer Jonathan Guijarro, pictured to the right. You should all expect your "Save the Date" notifications, soon. Jonathan and I will be honeymooning in St. Tropez, Monaco, Nice and Paris, followed by an extended stay with his parents at their beach house in Ibiza.

In lieu of gifts, please donate enough moeny to convince Jonathan to marry me. For reals, ya'll. I mean it. Help a brother out!

Honestly, I don't know the young man's real heritage. He could be Latino or Spanish, but who really cares? The boy is smoking hot! I'm talking 12 alarms. Mui caliente.All that and a bag of chips. The cat's pajamas. The bee's knees. Wait... what? Australia's number one gay men's magazine, DNA has a small photo feature (may be NSFW) of Jonathan on their website this week. Like Hrthiik Roshan; Chris Evans; Ryan Reynolds; Bradley Cooper and My Obsession, Guijarro is just another gorgeous person with whom I actually have nothing in common. But that doesn't mean I can't look at, admire and comment about people I find to be particularly attractive. I'm only human, afterall. And we all like pretty things...

Of course, it's genetics (more science, thank you) that makes people like Jonathan so attractive. Not everyone's DNA is wired for such esthetic perfection. But enough of that.

May the Fourth Be With You!

Let's move on to Faux Holidays. This weekend sees two of the silliest...

Today of course, was "Star Wars Day" (every self-respecting Sci-Fi geek knows why). My equally demented friend and co-worker Mia, shared the image on the left. Of course, Luke Skywalker isn't quite as Christ-like a figure as Spielberg's E.T. but I suppose he'll do in a pinch, even though he's more like young Arhur Pendragon than Jesus of Nazareth. 

And tomorrow (today, actually) is the Mexican St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Mayo. Not to be confused with Mexican Independence Day, Cinco de Mayo celebrates a single victory against the French in 1862. In Mexico, it is only celebrated in the state of Puebla. In the U.S., it is celebrated in Mexican restaurants both good and bed; bars and cantinas (talk about a Star Wars seque!) with tequila shots, Margaritas and dos Equis; tacos; enchiladas; salsa; cilantro; tortillas and rice. All of which, by the way, I will be doing tomorrow.

It just so happens that the next dinner with my college friends falls on May 5th, so we're obviously having a Mexican-inspired feast. We're trying hard not to do the usual. I'm making a "Creamy Taco Casserole" and a rice dish that combines elements of two different recipes I found online, along with my personal tweaks and embellishments.

 

Candy-filled Pinata Cookies

I was very tempted to try to make the candy-filled pinata cookies on the right, but I'm not really a baker. I do well enough with pies, tarts and crisps I suppose, but cookies have never been my thing and while I found these to be delightfully whimsical, they're also pretty complicated for a novice cookie maker. I imagine a sweaty version of myself, cursing and decrying my clumsy ape-like fingers as rainbow sugar cookies crumbled to into rainbow crumb-fetti.

Of course, I'll be posting about our gas-inducing indulgence afterwards.  There are some very yummy-sounding dishes on the menu and I'm looking forward to both seeing my friends and eating great food. What more can one ask of life? Wait... Don't answer that... 

I'll be sure to let you know if I ever do make those cookies.

More, anon.

Prospero

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The Creepiest Things You'll See This Week

Oh, dear. Some one left their Baby Jane Hudson doll at the malt shop. At least I hope that's what happened. Or if not, then I hope the woman in this photo does not have Internet access, because if you Google the word "creepy," hers is one of the first images to come up. What may be even worse, she actually reminds your Uncle Prospero of a woman at his day job (I'll leave it to my co-workers who read this blog to figure who it is, though I am sure they instantly made the connection). Not that I'm being mean here. The woman is actually creepy - crass, tacky and lacking any real social skills (or vocal volume control), the co-worker in question has never once looked me in the eye, no matter how many times I have smiled at her or tried to be friendly.

Still, that photo is only one of three very creepy things I have to share with you, tonight.

The second (via) is a rather controversial video from a New Yorker who noticed that food had begun to disappear from his apartment. After confronting his girlfriend (who denied eating the food) about it, he decided to put a surveillance camera in his kitchen:

From the comments on BoingBoing, a lot of folks think this video is a fake, mostly because the woman leaves her water jug behind when she crawls back into her hidey-hole. I'm not so sure it is a fake. First, it is New York City. There are plenty of loonies in the Big Apple who are more than capable of doing such a thing. Second, she's almost caught when the guy gets up for a drink in the middle of the night. That could be enough to rattle her into leaving the jug behind. And third, even if you are desperate for attention on the Interwebs, why would you go to such lengths to fake such a thing? There are plenty of other ways to get noticed on line. I haven't gone so far as to research the NYPD logs for documentation of this incident, but I think it's the real deal.

Finally, in the Creepy Anthropomorphic Robots category of creepiness (also via), comes this video of a robot dance competition in Tokyo last month. Way creepier than that Lou Bega robot* from last year:

I don't know if it's the plaid schoolgirl uniform or the expressionless, Anime-style face... but it's sure creepy, alright.

Uncle P has loads of fun stuff planned for the Zombie Zone tomorrow, so don't forget to check it out. Hope to see you here on Sunday...

*Is it me, or does that video remind you of Ray Harryhausen's giant crab from Mysterious Island?

More, anon.
Prospero

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Bizzarely Hot

Ok - I'm not usually about posting sexy, hot guys here. And I really don't know what it is about British actor Danny Dyer, but My New Plaid Pants has posted some very hot pics of this young actor and I couldn't help but share. You can see Danny in the hilarious British horror movie, Severance. Enjoy.

More of this, anon...

Prospero

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My Favorite New Photographer

I tried to capture some of Joshua Hoffine's amazing work to post here, but just don't have the computer skills, I guess. So I am reduced to merely posting a link to his site. Warning: These images may be disturbing, but they are brilliant and I hope some studio snatches him to be a Production Designer or even a Director. I'd see any movie in which he was involved. Chilling!

See Joshua's terrific, imaginative and terrifying works here (via My New Plaid Pants):

http://joshuahoffine.com/

You have read this article Horror / Images / Ramblings with the title Images. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-favorite-new-photographer.html. Thanks!