Love and Death

Saint Valentine?

It's been a very long time since Uncle P has had a Valentine. In fact, I think I've mentioned before that the last Valentine's Day I celebrated, my date dumped me (the night after we saw Shakespeare in Love).

The photo to your right is of a supposed 'Holy Relic' of what may have been any number of Christian martyrs by the Roman name of Valentinus. Having directed what should have been a wonderful production of Michael Hollinger's play Incorruptible (a theatre story for another post), I doubt the veracity of any and all such 'relics.'

Nonetheless, Hallmark; Hershey's; Nestle's; Godiva; American Greetings; Zales; Jarrod's and the SAF (among any other number of retailers) have all managed to turn the legend of a Christian martyr who either died because he professed his love to a Roman woman or performed Christian marriages despite prohibitive Roman law (sound familiar?) into a money-making opportunity. There's no definitive story for this particular 'saint' and much like St. Christopher, Valentine's actual existence is often called into question. Like most modern Western holidays, I regard Valentine's Day as a shameless grab at consumers' money. If you are lucky enough to have a special person in your life, it shouldn't take a special day for you to do or buy something to show how much you love them. And the possibly horrific murder of a 3rd Century priest really shouldn't make one bit of difference.

If we're talking murder and mayhem, this is more my style:



More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Candy / Flowers / Greeting Cards / Holidays / Nonsense / Relics / Religion / Romance / Slasher Movies / Uncle P / Valentine's Day with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2014/02/love-and-death.html. Thanks!

Retro Review: "We're the Millers"

I wasn't sure if I was going to post about Groundhog Day or write this review... And I did my best to come up with a way to tie the two together, but couldn't find any rational correlation between the two other than that both Groundhog Day and We're the Millers are comedies.

Michael joined me for dinner and an OnDemand movie Friday night and since we were both in the mood for some nonsense, we watched this past summer's weirdly sentimental caper comedy which turned out to be actually much funnier than the numbers said it should have been. A preposterous plot? Most certainly. Gross-outs; sex jokes; stereotypes; outrageous coincidences and Carny trash? Of course! There is nothing particularly original or unexpected about the script from Bob Fisher and Steve Faber (The Wedding Crashers) or Rawson Marshall Thurber's (Dodgeball) direction. Luckily, Thurber managed to to pull together a cast capable of pulling off this particular brand of nonsense with ease and style. 

SNl alum Jason Sudekis is Dave Clark, a slacker pot dealer who is content with his life and has his business down to a science. Jennifer Aniston (in another surprisingly good performance) is his neighbor Rose, a stripper at the end of her financial rope. When dorky neighbor Kenny (Will Poulter) involves Dave in a dispute with a bunch of thugs and street urchin Casey (Emma Roberts) he ends up with both is stash and cash stolen and owing over $40 Grand to his supplier, the innocuously named but ruthless Brad (Ed Helms). In order or make up for it Brad sends Dave to Mexico to pick up "a smidgen and half" of pot. In order to keep under the radar, Dave enlists Rose, Kenny and Casey to pretend to be an average family on an RV trip. Throughout the outrageous road trip (which includes an exceptionally funny encounter with a sexually adventurous DEA agent and his wife - hilariously played Nick Offerman and and Katherine Hahn) and a male genitals visual involving a tarantula bite that is almost as disturbing as the zipper scene in There's Something About Mary, the four forge a very unlikely bond. It's no spoiler here to say the Millers end up together as a very real (though oddly dysfunctional) family. Stupid, ridiculous and not at all for the prudish. We're the Millers is well worth the watching, especially with the right person, under the right conditions. And I must admit, this gay man isn't afraid to say that bad actress or not, Aniston is smoking hot in this movie! It was exactly the kind of nonsense I needed after the week I've had!

We're the Millers is rated 'R' for drug references, sexual situations, adult language and violence. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out Of Four Stars).

And since it is Groundhog Day, that rotten Marmota monax had better not see it's shadow this morning. I have no problem driving out to Punxatawney to wring that rodent's neck! Not one, but two snowstorms are predicted for this region in the coming week. While I have no intention of moving any time soon, retirement in Taos is looking more and more attractive.

More, anon.

Prospero

You have read this article Capers / Comedy / Groundhog Day / Holiday Movies / Holidays / Jason Sudekis / Jennifer Aniston / Movies / Nonsense / OnDemand / Reviews / Snow / Stoner Comedies / Winter with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2014/02/retro-review-millers.html. Thanks!

Welcome 2014!

Justin Mikita and Jesse Tyler Ferguson

So many things to look forward to this year. I'm about to direct a new work and present a proposal to direct a play by the insane and hilarious Christopher Durang. I may be auditioning for Shrek (though I haven't quite decided, yet). 

My house will hopefully be transformed enough to have a small "Re-warming" gathering by the time my sister and the BIL come up in the spring. Hopefully all paperwork; deeds, quit-claims; forms and any & all legal documents having to do with Mom's estate will be closed out soon. I do hope my old car sells, quickly, now that the word is out. I could use a little cushion. Tax refunds will help, too. And I'll be having a BIG yard sale this spring (I'll let you know in case you want to stop by). 

I'm also excited to see the rapid advancement in Marriage Equality in the last few months and look forward to the building momentum as more states join the right side of history. I have real hope mostly because of something a friend posted on my Facebook timeline in response to anti-bullying piece I had shared on the JTMF page while the idiotic "Duck Dynasty" debacle was going down:

"Brian, I saw your link regarding homosexuality and suicide. This is a subject that has been on my mind, weighing heavily, since the GQ article came out the other day. The Robertson's have a large family, odds are there is at least one poor, tortured, closeted soul in that family. Originally, I said that I disagreed with everything Phil said, but that I supported his right to say it. Since then, I've come to regret that stand. I don't want Phil or anyone else spreading and encouraging that venom and filth for other clueless parents to glom onto. I don't know for sure if there is someone hiding in the Robertson clan, I pray there isn't, but the thought makes my heart and soul hurt."

Wow. I also hope no one in the Robertson clan is hiding in fear of what their patriarch (or any other family member) thinks of them. But more importantly, I'm so thrilled I was able to make someone see the light and actually change her mind about the power of words. I replied "No child should take his or her life because of what anyone says or thinks about them." So as the states continue to move forward and the conservative right realizes they most evolve if they want to remain relevant, we (by which I mean Western Society as a whole) are that much closer to achieving the ideals of true equality under the law for every citizen of the world. Of course, the battle in some places is going to be tougher than others, but I have no doubt I will see marriage between any two consenting adults in all 50 states and Puerto Rico in my lifetime. Maybe within the next 5 years. And who knows? I might actually meet someone by then... Ever hopeful or ever delusional? We may never know.

I had my traditional New Year's Eve with K, Q & Dale last night. It was also my penultimate gift-exchange of the season (the final one being this coming Saturday with the Dinner Club crew). The three of them conspired and got a gorgeous Steampunk clock that will eventually live in this office, scheduled for redecorating after the aforementioned BIG yard sale. Sis & BIL got me some very fun gifts including a huge ceramic piggy bank dressed as Batman; a zombie Batman keychain fob and a lovely framed print of a photo of an abandoned coaster at Six Flags New Orleans in a funky frame (among other things). While in Florida (which, as lovely a time I had, was still a very weird Christmas for me), I bought myself a few presents, as well (thanks for the extra spending money, Auntie!). I also had a chance to spend some quality time alone with the BIL while there, and we finally had some real bonding and I am happy that we are now closer than ever.

I'm glad the holidays are coming to an end, just so I can really start getting used to a new routine and spending time doing things just for myself, for a change. That in itself is reason enough to look forward to the new year! Thanks for still reading me. I hope you will continue to do so, as long I have it in me to write it. I hope Santa was wise and generous and your holiday foods were delicious and plentiful. The Triskaidekaphobia-inducing year has come to a close and lucky 14 is here, Thank Zeus!

Here's some movie nonsense, proving how bad last year was in just about every way:

More, anon.

Prospero

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Have a Safe and Happy New Year's Eve!

Happy New Year! I've made it clear that I am not sad to see 2013 go. Here's wishing you and yours the Happiest of New Year's. I wish you and all those you love much Joy, Laughter, Prosperity and Health in 2014. Bring it on!

More, anon

Prospero

You have read this article 2014 / Holiday Wishes / Holidays / New Year's Eve with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/have-safe-and-happy-new-year-eve.html. Thanks!

Netflix Revew: "Hansel & Gretel Get Baked"

I suppose a preface of sort is required here. For the past 10 years or so, my rock, K has spent Christmas Eve with Mom and myself. In a beautiful post on Facebook, K expressed how she was going to miss those weird and wonderful nights now that Mom was gone. And since I'll be at my sister's for Christmas Eve this year (something already passed by the time this post is published - how freaky is that?), I proposed that we have a Christmas Eve Eve with many of the traditions we've shared for so long. We were joined by our sweet, funny, weird, wonderful and adorable friend Michael for a lovely candle-lit night of good food, good drink and very good company. Honestly, everyone should be so lucky to have friends like mine - I love and thank them so much. 

Anyway... after dinner we decided to search Netflix for something to entertain us. K and Micheal searched through my personal list, which includes lots of movies only I (and a few of you... Pax...) would appreciate. And after an unabashedly intoxicated K had issues with the WiiMote, I took over, asking what they wanted to see. "Something funny!" they both said. So I went to the list of movies suggested because I'd watched Tucker and Dale vs Evil. I skipped along the menu until I hit upon a title that made me laugh and chose it, saying "If it sucks, we'll change it!" That title was Hansel & Gretel Get Baked. Starring "Castle" regular Molly Quinn as Gretel; the Twilight movies' Michael Welch as Hansel and a frighteningly over-surgeried and an almost unrecognizable Lara Flynn Boyle as a the immortal Bavarian-Nazi-Cannibal-Witch, Agnes who grows and sells enchanted dope to unsuspecting teens. Not surprisingly, the ingestion of those teens' flesh help both restore and maintain Agnes' youth.

Writer/Actor David Tillman's script is just clever enough to keep our interest, amusingly referencing  the story we all know and aided by costume designer Elizabeth Jett's very decidedly Tyrolean-inspired outfits for Ms Quinn. Add plenty of gross-out moments and hilarious puns (Agnes starts out as literally a 'Little Old Lady from Pasadena'), and Hansel & Gretel Get Baked ends up being a very funny modern take on the story via Cheech and Chong, where Skittles serve as breadcrumbs and hot young guys get slathered in herbed butter while strapped to a mortician's gurney. Cary Elwes makes a cameo as the Meter Man while a slew of other character actors you will recognize from every procedural TV show from the last 20 years crop up in other supporting roles.

Not everything works perfectly (Boyle's age makeups aren't quite convincing, though I suspect that may have more to do with her tragic cosmetic surgeries, than anything else). And some of the CGI FX (especially in the denouement) are a bit forced. But if you're looking for a funny, gory and gruesome distraction from all the Holiday nonsense you've been forced to endure in the past month or so, you could do certainly do worse than Hansel & Gretel Get Baked. I would definitely recommend it over the Big Studio crapfest that was Hansel &Gretel: Witch Hunters.

Screened at this year's Tribecca Film Festival, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked is currently available on Netflix and DVD. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out of Four Stars). Rated 'R' for Violence, Gore, Drug Use and Language, it was exactly what the three of us needed, even if K covered her eyes during the gory bits.

More, anon..
Prospero

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Merrily. Merrily, Merrily...

Enjoy the silence. Embrace your loved ones. Take joy in your Humanity. Accept beauty when you see it. Find your light and follow it. Merry Christmas, no matter that means to you. 

More, anon.

Brian

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NOT My Favorite Year

Florida is Weird...
.

Officially, Uncle P has one more work day before I'm on my 'Holiday Break.' To be honest, Monday should be fairly slow at the Day Job, though there are always those panicky clients who MUST get documents processed before the break (despite the fact that their documents aren't going anywhere until after we return). 

In my mind, I'm already in warmer climes, even though I don't leave for Florida until Tuesday morning. And yes, I have a bird/house sitter lined up, so I'm not worried about announcing I'll be away. My dear K will stopping in every day to give Skye fresh water; bring in my mail; watch TV and leave lights on.

This year, K. Michael and I are starting a new tradition: Christmas Eve Eve. Let me explain: For the past ten years or so, K would come over to my house on Christmas Eve to have dinner and take part in the orgy of presents Mom and I would share (long story - see previous posts). Since I'll be in Largo for Christmas Eve, I decided to push our celebration up a day and include a sweet and dear friend who has lent me loads of support in the past few months. We'll have our traditional shrimp cocktail and 'broasted' chicken dinner from Chicken Holiday, complete with their amazing fried creamed-corn nuggets; a small gift exchange and (hopefully) a viewing of A Christmas Story. K will be spending the night and taking me to the airport in the morning (though I have no idea who'll be picking me up when I get home, yet).

I hope to get together with my college friend Marousa (among other activities) while in the Tampa/Clearwater/St.Pete area. Of course, Sis has several activities already planned but I really hope this one happens. I'm very much looking forward to a meal at the African restaurant at Disney's Animal Kingdom's hotel (Sis and the BIL are Vacation Club Members) and honestly can't wait to visit the new Salvador Dali museum where I hope to spend some time gazing at my all-time favorite painting (I have no idea why it's so - it just... 'speaks' to me). I also hope to finish what little holiday shopping I have to do for folks with whom I won't exchange gifts until after the New Year. And among all that excitement, I hope to read at least one play and one novel. Great Expectations, indeed.

This will be the first Christmas spent with my sister in over 18 years. It's also the first Christmas Sis and I will spend without Mom. Ugh. So many feels. I'll be home in time to spend New Year's Eve with my BFFs, K.Q and Dale. So it's all good (or so I keep telling myself). 

It is my fervent hope that you are able to spend time with those you love (and who love you) during the Winter Holiday season, no matter what you believe. Merry Christmas; Happy Solstice; Joyous Kwanzaa and Happy New Year!

With the exception of at least one pre-scheduled post, this is probably (though not decidedly)  my last real-time post for 2013. I will not rue this year's passing. Goodbye and Good Riddance to 2013!

Hoping all of you (and I) have a better year coming!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article 2013 / 2014 / Changes / Christmas / Florida / Fun / Holidays / K / My BIL / My Mother / My Sister / New Year / Surreal / Traditions with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/not-my-favorite-year.html. Thanks!

The Gayest Things You'll See This Christmas

Brrrr!

Every time I try to get away, they just keep pulling me back! I really thought I was on E ("Empty," NOT Ecstasy). Apparently I'm not because here are two videos that actually helped raise... my spirits, you pervs!

I officially have one week before I'm off to spend the holiday with my sister in the land of lighted palms and be-shorted Santas.

So what does it take to make this Grinch's heart grow (not too much, because enlarged syndrome isn't really a good thing)?  Well, hotties in Speedos and/or undies and adorable frat boys frolicking in the snow to a Katy Perry song, of course.

So here are two very gay, somewhat pervy and often hot videos that warmed the cockles of my heart (look it up, pervs!). 

The first is via Wicked Gay Blog and involves the kind of weather that makes me think of Seinfeld, swimming and other cold-weather/water associated phenomena:

The second is the kind of video that makes me wish I was the self-confident (well, almost) version of myself now, when I was in my 20's (via):

What is it about Katy Perry?

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Christmas / Gay / Holidays / Katy Perry / Music Video / Ramblings / Speedos / The Gayest Thing / Video / YouTube with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-gayest-things-you-see-this-christmas.html. Thanks!