Love and Death

Saint Valentine?

It's been a very long time since Uncle P has had a Valentine. In fact, I think I've mentioned before that the last Valentine's Day I celebrated, my date dumped me (the night after we saw Shakespeare in Love).

The photo to your right is of a supposed 'Holy Relic' of what may have been any number of Christian martyrs by the Roman name of Valentinus. Having directed what should have been a wonderful production of Michael Hollinger's play Incorruptible (a theatre story for another post), I doubt the veracity of any and all such 'relics.'

Nonetheless, Hallmark; Hershey's; Nestle's; Godiva; American Greetings; Zales; Jarrod's and the SAF (among any other number of retailers) have all managed to turn the legend of a Christian martyr who either died because he professed his love to a Roman woman or performed Christian marriages despite prohibitive Roman law (sound familiar?) into a money-making opportunity. There's no definitive story for this particular 'saint' and much like St. Christopher, Valentine's actual existence is often called into question. Like most modern Western holidays, I regard Valentine's Day as a shameless grab at consumers' money. If you are lucky enough to have a special person in your life, it shouldn't take a special day for you to do or buy something to show how much you love them. And the possibly horrific murder of a 3rd Century priest really shouldn't make one bit of difference.

If we're talking murder and mayhem, this is more my style:



More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Candy / Flowers / Greeting Cards / Holidays / Nonsense / Relics / Religion / Romance / Slasher Movies / Uncle P / Valentine's Day with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2014/02/love-and-death.html. Thanks!

Retro Review: "We're the Millers"

I wasn't sure if I was going to post about Groundhog Day or write this review... And I did my best to come up with a way to tie the two together, but couldn't find any rational correlation between the two other than that both Groundhog Day and We're the Millers are comedies.

Michael joined me for dinner and an OnDemand movie Friday night and since we were both in the mood for some nonsense, we watched this past summer's weirdly sentimental caper comedy which turned out to be actually much funnier than the numbers said it should have been. A preposterous plot? Most certainly. Gross-outs; sex jokes; stereotypes; outrageous coincidences and Carny trash? Of course! There is nothing particularly original or unexpected about the script from Bob Fisher and Steve Faber (The Wedding Crashers) or Rawson Marshall Thurber's (Dodgeball) direction. Luckily, Thurber managed to to pull together a cast capable of pulling off this particular brand of nonsense with ease and style. 

SNl alum Jason Sudekis is Dave Clark, a slacker pot dealer who is content with his life and has his business down to a science. Jennifer Aniston (in another surprisingly good performance) is his neighbor Rose, a stripper at the end of her financial rope. When dorky neighbor Kenny (Will Poulter) involves Dave in a dispute with a bunch of thugs and street urchin Casey (Emma Roberts) he ends up with both is stash and cash stolen and owing over $40 Grand to his supplier, the innocuously named but ruthless Brad (Ed Helms). In order or make up for it Brad sends Dave to Mexico to pick up "a smidgen and half" of pot. In order to keep under the radar, Dave enlists Rose, Kenny and Casey to pretend to be an average family on an RV trip. Throughout the outrageous road trip (which includes an exceptionally funny encounter with a sexually adventurous DEA agent and his wife - hilariously played Nick Offerman and and Katherine Hahn) and a male genitals visual involving a tarantula bite that is almost as disturbing as the zipper scene in There's Something About Mary, the four forge a very unlikely bond. It's no spoiler here to say the Millers end up together as a very real (though oddly dysfunctional) family. Stupid, ridiculous and not at all for the prudish. We're the Millers is well worth the watching, especially with the right person, under the right conditions. And I must admit, this gay man isn't afraid to say that bad actress or not, Aniston is smoking hot in this movie! It was exactly the kind of nonsense I needed after the week I've had!

We're the Millers is rated 'R' for drug references, sexual situations, adult language and violence. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out Of Four Stars).

And since it is Groundhog Day, that rotten Marmota monax had better not see it's shadow this morning. I have no problem driving out to Punxatawney to wring that rodent's neck! Not one, but two snowstorms are predicted for this region in the coming week. While I have no intention of moving any time soon, retirement in Taos is looking more and more attractive.

More, anon.

Prospero

You have read this article Capers / Comedy / Groundhog Day / Holiday Movies / Holidays / Jason Sudekis / Jennifer Aniston / Movies / Nonsense / OnDemand / Reviews / Snow / Stoner Comedies / Winter with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2014/02/retro-review-millers.html. Thanks!

Welcome 2014!

Justin Mikita and Jesse Tyler Ferguson

So many things to look forward to this year. I'm about to direct a new work and present a proposal to direct a play by the insane and hilarious Christopher Durang. I may be auditioning for Shrek (though I haven't quite decided, yet). 

My house will hopefully be transformed enough to have a small "Re-warming" gathering by the time my sister and the BIL come up in the spring. Hopefully all paperwork; deeds, quit-claims; forms and any & all legal documents having to do with Mom's estate will be closed out soon. I do hope my old car sells, quickly, now that the word is out. I could use a little cushion. Tax refunds will help, too. And I'll be having a BIG yard sale this spring (I'll let you know in case you want to stop by). 

I'm also excited to see the rapid advancement in Marriage Equality in the last few months and look forward to the building momentum as more states join the right side of history. I have real hope mostly because of something a friend posted on my Facebook timeline in response to anti-bullying piece I had shared on the JTMF page while the idiotic "Duck Dynasty" debacle was going down:

"Brian, I saw your link regarding homosexuality and suicide. This is a subject that has been on my mind, weighing heavily, since the GQ article came out the other day. The Robertson's have a large family, odds are there is at least one poor, tortured, closeted soul in that family. Originally, I said that I disagreed with everything Phil said, but that I supported his right to say it. Since then, I've come to regret that stand. I don't want Phil or anyone else spreading and encouraging that venom and filth for other clueless parents to glom onto. I don't know for sure if there is someone hiding in the Robertson clan, I pray there isn't, but the thought makes my heart and soul hurt."

Wow. I also hope no one in the Robertson clan is hiding in fear of what their patriarch (or any other family member) thinks of them. But more importantly, I'm so thrilled I was able to make someone see the light and actually change her mind about the power of words. I replied "No child should take his or her life because of what anyone says or thinks about them." So as the states continue to move forward and the conservative right realizes they most evolve if they want to remain relevant, we (by which I mean Western Society as a whole) are that much closer to achieving the ideals of true equality under the law for every citizen of the world. Of course, the battle in some places is going to be tougher than others, but I have no doubt I will see marriage between any two consenting adults in all 50 states and Puerto Rico in my lifetime. Maybe within the next 5 years. And who knows? I might actually meet someone by then... Ever hopeful or ever delusional? We may never know.

I had my traditional New Year's Eve with K, Q & Dale last night. It was also my penultimate gift-exchange of the season (the final one being this coming Saturday with the Dinner Club crew). The three of them conspired and got a gorgeous Steampunk clock that will eventually live in this office, scheduled for redecorating after the aforementioned BIG yard sale. Sis & BIL got me some very fun gifts including a huge ceramic piggy bank dressed as Batman; a zombie Batman keychain fob and a lovely framed print of a photo of an abandoned coaster at Six Flags New Orleans in a funky frame (among other things). While in Florida (which, as lovely a time I had, was still a very weird Christmas for me), I bought myself a few presents, as well (thanks for the extra spending money, Auntie!). I also had a chance to spend some quality time alone with the BIL while there, and we finally had some real bonding and I am happy that we are now closer than ever.

I'm glad the holidays are coming to an end, just so I can really start getting used to a new routine and spending time doing things just for myself, for a change. That in itself is reason enough to look forward to the new year! Thanks for still reading me. I hope you will continue to do so, as long I have it in me to write it. I hope Santa was wise and generous and your holiday foods were delicious and plentiful. The Triskaidekaphobia-inducing year has come to a close and lucky 14 is here, Thank Zeus!

Here's some movie nonsense, proving how bad last year was in just about every way:

More, anon.

Prospero

You have read this article 2014 / Anti-Bullying / Florida / Holidays / Marriage Equality / Movies / My House / New Year / Nonsense / On Directing / Presents; Toys / Steam Punk / The Future / Weird with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2014/01/welcome-2014.html. Thanks!

Have a Safe and Happy New Year's Eve!

Happy New Year! I've made it clear that I am not sad to see 2013 go. Here's wishing you and yours the Happiest of New Year's. I wish you and all those you love much Joy, Laughter, Prosperity and Health in 2014. Bring it on!

More, anon

Prospero

You have read this article 2014 / Holiday Wishes / Holidays / New Year's Eve with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/have-safe-and-happy-new-year-eve.html. Thanks!

Netflix Revew: "Hansel & Gretel Get Baked"

I suppose a preface of sort is required here. For the past 10 years or so, my rock, K has spent Christmas Eve with Mom and myself. In a beautiful post on Facebook, K expressed how she was going to miss those weird and wonderful nights now that Mom was gone. And since I'll be at my sister's for Christmas Eve this year (something already passed by the time this post is published - how freaky is that?), I proposed that we have a Christmas Eve Eve with many of the traditions we've shared for so long. We were joined by our sweet, funny, weird, wonderful and adorable friend Michael for a lovely candle-lit night of good food, good drink and very good company. Honestly, everyone should be so lucky to have friends like mine - I love and thank them so much. 

Anyway... after dinner we decided to search Netflix for something to entertain us. K and Micheal searched through my personal list, which includes lots of movies only I (and a few of you... Pax...) would appreciate. And after an unabashedly intoxicated K had issues with the WiiMote, I took over, asking what they wanted to see. "Something funny!" they both said. So I went to the list of movies suggested because I'd watched Tucker and Dale vs Evil. I skipped along the menu until I hit upon a title that made me laugh and chose it, saying "If it sucks, we'll change it!" That title was Hansel & Gretel Get Baked. Starring "Castle" regular Molly Quinn as Gretel; the Twilight movies' Michael Welch as Hansel and a frighteningly over-surgeried and an almost unrecognizable Lara Flynn Boyle as a the immortal Bavarian-Nazi-Cannibal-Witch, Agnes who grows and sells enchanted dope to unsuspecting teens. Not surprisingly, the ingestion of those teens' flesh help both restore and maintain Agnes' youth.

Writer/Actor David Tillman's script is just clever enough to keep our interest, amusingly referencing  the story we all know and aided by costume designer Elizabeth Jett's very decidedly Tyrolean-inspired outfits for Ms Quinn. Add plenty of gross-out moments and hilarious puns (Agnes starts out as literally a 'Little Old Lady from Pasadena'), and Hansel & Gretel Get Baked ends up being a very funny modern take on the story via Cheech and Chong, where Skittles serve as breadcrumbs and hot young guys get slathered in herbed butter while strapped to a mortician's gurney. Cary Elwes makes a cameo as the Meter Man while a slew of other character actors you will recognize from every procedural TV show from the last 20 years crop up in other supporting roles.

Not everything works perfectly (Boyle's age makeups aren't quite convincing, though I suspect that may have more to do with her tragic cosmetic surgeries, than anything else). And some of the CGI FX (especially in the denouement) are a bit forced. But if you're looking for a funny, gory and gruesome distraction from all the Holiday nonsense you've been forced to endure in the past month or so, you could do certainly do worse than Hansel & Gretel Get Baked. I would definitely recommend it over the Big Studio crapfest that was Hansel &Gretel: Witch Hunters.

Screened at this year's Tribecca Film Festival, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked is currently available on Netflix and DVD. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out of Four Stars). Rated 'R' for Violence, Gore, Drug Use and Language, it was exactly what the three of us needed, even if K covered her eyes during the gory bits.

More, anon..
Prospero

You have read this article Christmas Eve Eve / Friends / Gross / Holidays / Horror / Horror Comedy / K / Michael / Movies / Netflicks / Reviews / Silly / Traditions with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/netflix-revew-gretel-get-baked.html. Thanks!

Merrily. Merrily, Merrily...

Enjoy the silence. Embrace your loved ones. Take joy in your Humanity. Accept beauty when you see it. Find your light and follow it. Merry Christmas, no matter that means to you. 

More, anon.

Brian

You have read this article Christmas / Holiday Wishes / Holidays / Nature / Snow / Winter with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/merrily-merrily-merrily.html. Thanks!

NOT My Favorite Year

Florida is Weird...
.

Officially, Uncle P has one more work day before I'm on my 'Holiday Break.' To be honest, Monday should be fairly slow at the Day Job, though there are always those panicky clients who MUST get documents processed before the break (despite the fact that their documents aren't going anywhere until after we return). 

In my mind, I'm already in warmer climes, even though I don't leave for Florida until Tuesday morning. And yes, I have a bird/house sitter lined up, so I'm not worried about announcing I'll be away. My dear K will stopping in every day to give Skye fresh water; bring in my mail; watch TV and leave lights on.

This year, K. Michael and I are starting a new tradition: Christmas Eve Eve. Let me explain: For the past ten years or so, K would come over to my house on Christmas Eve to have dinner and take part in the orgy of presents Mom and I would share (long story - see previous posts). Since I'll be in Largo for Christmas Eve, I decided to push our celebration up a day and include a sweet and dear friend who has lent me loads of support in the past few months. We'll have our traditional shrimp cocktail and 'broasted' chicken dinner from Chicken Holiday, complete with their amazing fried creamed-corn nuggets; a small gift exchange and (hopefully) a viewing of A Christmas Story. K will be spending the night and taking me to the airport in the morning (though I have no idea who'll be picking me up when I get home, yet).

I hope to get together with my college friend Marousa (among other activities) while in the Tampa/Clearwater/St.Pete area. Of course, Sis has several activities already planned but I really hope this one happens. I'm very much looking forward to a meal at the African restaurant at Disney's Animal Kingdom's hotel (Sis and the BIL are Vacation Club Members) and honestly can't wait to visit the new Salvador Dali museum where I hope to spend some time gazing at my all-time favorite painting (I have no idea why it's so - it just... 'speaks' to me). I also hope to finish what little holiday shopping I have to do for folks with whom I won't exchange gifts until after the New Year. And among all that excitement, I hope to read at least one play and one novel. Great Expectations, indeed.

This will be the first Christmas spent with my sister in over 18 years. It's also the first Christmas Sis and I will spend without Mom. Ugh. So many feels. I'll be home in time to spend New Year's Eve with my BFFs, K.Q and Dale. So it's all good (or so I keep telling myself). 

It is my fervent hope that you are able to spend time with those you love (and who love you) during the Winter Holiday season, no matter what you believe. Merry Christmas; Happy Solstice; Joyous Kwanzaa and Happy New Year!

With the exception of at least one pre-scheduled post, this is probably (though not decidedly)  my last real-time post for 2013. I will not rue this year's passing. Goodbye and Good Riddance to 2013!

Hoping all of you (and I) have a better year coming!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article 2013 / 2014 / Changes / Christmas / Florida / Fun / Holidays / K / My BIL / My Mother / My Sister / New Year / Surreal / Traditions with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/not-my-favorite-year.html. Thanks!

The Gayest Things You'll See This Christmas

Brrrr!

Every time I try to get away, they just keep pulling me back! I really thought I was on E ("Empty," NOT Ecstasy). Apparently I'm not because here are two videos that actually helped raise... my spirits, you pervs!

I officially have one week before I'm off to spend the holiday with my sister in the land of lighted palms and be-shorted Santas.

So what does it take to make this Grinch's heart grow (not too much, because enlarged syndrome isn't really a good thing)?  Well, hotties in Speedos and/or undies and adorable frat boys frolicking in the snow to a Katy Perry song, of course.

So here are two very gay, somewhat pervy and often hot videos that warmed the cockles of my heart (look it up, pervs!). 

The first is via Wicked Gay Blog and involves the kind of weather that makes me think of Seinfeld, swimming and other cold-weather/water associated phenomena:

The second is the kind of video that makes me wish I was the self-confident (well, almost) version of myself now, when I was in my 20's (via):

What is it about Katy Perry?

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Christmas / Gay / Holidays / Katy Perry / Music Video / Ramblings / Speedos / The Gayest Thing / Video / YouTube with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-gayest-things-you-see-this-christmas.html. Thanks!

Pachelbel Smiled

Adorable, no?

Couldn't resist this one. Regular readers know my obsession with Flash Mobs. I'm particularly pleased when they involve great music. Of course, when they include adorable cellists and woofy bassists in Air Force uniforms... Well, I don't know about you, but Uncle P must admit to feeling a bit like Garth when he climbs the rope in Gym.

Yesterday, I secured a gig directing a new short play for a new Short Play Festival in North Jersey. I'm very pleased by this and intrigued by the piece (a discourse - in part - on the value of art) and am about to submit a proposal to direct a Christopher Durang piece for a company which has always intimidated me, but which I am pretty sure I can convince to book me, if I get my sh*t together. I am moving forward; rejoining the world and expanding upon my life as an artist. And that's a very good thing, I think.

Someday, in conjunction with some project or other, I am going to stage and execute one of the most amazing Flash Mobs, ever. It joins a return to Paris, visits to London; Cairo; Brisbane; Sydney; Queensland; Tokyo; Bangkok and Machu Pichu and directing "Evil Dead: The Musical" and/or a black comedy 'splash zone' version of "Titus Andronicus" on my ever-growing Bucket List.

Here (via) is the Flash Mob video that inspired tonight's post:

Maybe... just maybe... I'm finally feeling a bit of Holiday Spirit. Or I may just be a sucker for a hottie in a uniform! If I believed in an afterlife, I would imagine Pachelbel smiling at this. It certainly brightened my day!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Air Force Band / Flashmobs / Holiday Spirit / Holidays / Hotties / Men in Uniforms / Military / Obsessions / Pachelbel / Video / YouTube with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/pachelbel-smiled.html. Thanks!

Taking a Break

West and Wewaxation

Uncle P has had a rough year (and an even rougher Fall). Last weekend I broke my toe; caught some sort of bug and then had a very hectic and rather exhausting week at the day-job. I'm tired, folks. So I've decided to take a small break from blogging (since I can't seem to get one anywhere else) for the rest of this year. I'm sure my small band of loyal of loyal readers will understand. That's not to say I won't pop in and rant if I find something that inspires me to do so. I hope I do. I may tweet (@Caliban761) and will certainly be on Facebook. And I will be scheduling a few auto-posts here and there. But I need to give up something for a bit, and right now, it's Caliban's Revenge. 

I want to get through the holidays as painlessly as possible and while I'll be spending most of Christmas week with my amazing sister and the BIL in Florida, I'm still in recovery mode and need some time to get re-energized and re-inspired.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, no matter holidays you do or don't celebrate. Take time for yourselves (and buy something to give yourself for Christmas - a tradition Mom started in our house while I was still in high school). Be good to one another and tell the people you love that you love them, every chance you get. 

See you in 2014.

More, eventually.
Prospero

You have read this article A Break / Caliban's Revenge / Florida / Holidays / My BIL / My Sister / On Blogging / Tired / Uncle P with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/12/taking-break.html. Thanks!

When Holidays Collide

"I'm not one of your faaaa-aaaa-aaans!!!"

I hope everyone had a delicious and filling meal with people you love.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Chanukah / Holiday Wishes / Holidays / Thanksgiving with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/11/when-holidays-collide.html. Thanks!

This Was Halloween

BOO!

So, If you've been keeping up, you can probably imagine that this was not the happiest of Octobers for Uncle P. 

Still, I'm plugging away and trying to regain a sense of 'normalcy.' Today was my first day back at the Day Job, where I was asked to judge both a departmental cupcake contest (in a department other than my own) and the company-wide costume contest. I'd like to believe I was asked because people there actually respect my opinion, though I wouldn't be surprised if people were just trying to cheer me up. Of course every one said it was the former, though the latter was very helpful. 

Until I got home, where I had exactly 12 Trick-or-Treaters. 

Last year I had just over 40. The year before that, 8. I live on a side street in my development, which serves no real purpose other than to provide housing. You can't really get anywhere significant by driving on my street (unless of course, you count my house). The number of children living on the street varies from year-to-year, depending on who is living here at any given time (some houses here seem to have revolving doors) and growing fears about asking strangers for candy have further reduced the number of kids willing to brave the darkness, especially on a weeknight. Still, I had a few princesses; Batman and Robin and a very clever Popcorn Machine with real popcorn and a light in the dome. But it wasn't quite the same without Mom fawning over the cuteness of the little ones and the cleverness of the older kids. The last knock on my door came at 8:17. I turned off my giant spider and Dracula's Pub lights at 9:00.

Of course, when my sister and I were kids, everyone went door-to-door for hours on end. We'd fill a pillowcase, come home to dump it and head out again. Those days are gone, I'm afraid. And that just makes me all the much sadder about the current state of my favorite holiday.

Still... I watched last night's episode of  "American Horror Story: Coven;" had some delicious (if I say so myself) Hungarian stuffed cabbage for dinner; spoke with my sister about our mutual lack of candy-beggars and did my best to enjoy the evening.

There are major and minor changes happening in my home (both physical and emotional). The number of programs I DVR has been slashed in half and I no longer feel quite so compelled to watch what I've recorded (with a few exceptions), though I catch myself being angry and/or sad that Mom will no longer be able to enjoy some of the shows she loved. I have made some progress in obtaining the necessary paperwork which accompanies someone's death, though find myself frustrated by the operating hours of certain government agencies (Damn you, SSI!). 

It's a process, I suppose. It will take time and be aggravating and even downright blood-boiling at times. I continue to take my anti-hypertension medication and try to take on each issue as it arises... But the wound is still so fresh and painful... 

Hallowe'en has evolved over the centuries from a day of keeping evil spirits at bay to a day of celebration. And it's that spirit I tried to maintain, today. I think Mom wouldn't have wanted me to do anything less. I may be sad that she's no longer here to share the celebration, but oh so very glad for all the times she was.

I hope you had a great Halloween and that you and/or your children got all the goodies you can stomach for the next month or so. If you got a Reeses' Peanut Butter Cup, think of Mom when you eat it. She loved them and loved giving them out. I'll be taking a few dozen or so to share at the Day Job, tomorrow.

And honestly, for folks like Uncle P and several of my friends and family, every day is Halloween:

Turkey Month starts tomorrow and I hope to be back to posting more regularly...

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Bureaucracy / Candy / Halloween / Holidays / My Mother / My Sister / Nonsense / October / Shocktober / Uncle P with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/10/this-was-halloween.html. Thanks!

Labor Day

With only about 10 minutes remaining of Labor Day, I just wanted to take a brief moment to honor the laborers who helped make the U.S. the great country it once was.

Okay - here comes the hate mail. 

Honestly, though, The U.S. as we know it today was built on the backs of the laborers who came before. Those who built our cities and highways; those who feed and clothe us; those who protect and defend us. These are the people we honored today. You may have taken advantage of Labor Day sales or spent the day grilling and drinking with friends and family if, like Uncle P, you had the day off with pay. 

It saddens me, though, to think about those less fortunate. Those who had off today because they have no jobs. While our President (a man I admire, respect and for whom I voted) contemplates spending millions of our tax dollars to intervene in yet another conflict most of the country agrees we should avoid, I can't help but wonder how the money it will cost to do so might be better spent on getting our citizens back to earning their own way while contributing to society in general.

Yes, we must be global citizens and do everything we can to stop Human Rights atrocities. Yes, we must continue to be the exemplars of Democracy (as flawed as it is). But it seems to me we need to make sure that our own citizens have roofs over their heads, nutritious food to eat and the means to survive after retirement before we can worry about what goes on in countries with diametrically-opposed lifestyles. No, I'm not saying we should let a monster poison his own people. I'm just saying we need to think about our own people first. I seriously doubt that the people of Syria care about us as much as we seem to care about them. 

Don't get me wrong - I'm hardly a jingoistic Right-Winger (if you think that, you've never read anything I've ever posted about politics, Human Rights or LGBT rights). What I am saying is that we before we go taking action against another country, we had better make sure we have our own house in order.

Currently, our house is a mess. It just seems to me that we need to clean up our own mess before we go trying to clean up after others.

More, anon.

Prospero

You have read this article Holidays / Labor Day / Politics / Syria with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/09/labor-day.html. Thanks!

The Gayest New Music and Hottest Boys You'll See This 1st Gay 4th of July

Happy Gay Independence Day!

This Independence Day has new meaning to millions of LGBTQ people all over our country, who are celebrating the deaths of DOMA and Proposition 8. For the first time in my life, our government no longer considers us "Less Than." We are closer and closer to joining the 13 (and soon to be fifteen with Uruguay and New Zealand's Marriage Equality laws taking effect next month) countries who have come into the 21st Century and recognized that there is nothing wrong, unnatural, perverse or sinful in love. When we're long gone, I hope someone finds and reads all our archived blogs and says the same thing we now say about "Whites Only" fountains and entrances and theater seating. 'Equality under the law.' Finally.

And apropos of both the First Gay Independence Day and my recent new music tear, I have discovered a second country artist I actually like (I'll talk about big ole Country Bear Drake Jensen and his anti-bullying anthem "Scars" in another post, soon). Today is all about gorgeous and so very hot Steve Grand and his debut single "All-American Boy." Those who've known Uncle P since the late 80's will understand why this song and video mean so much to me. And after you watch it, I'll tell you why. Here (via) is "All-American Boy":

So, there are three major differences in Steve's story and mine. First, my All-American Boy already knew I was in love with him because everyone I told and asked not to tell him, told him anyway. Second, we didn't end in an awkward attempt at a kiss, but rather a very difficult (but ultimately cathartic and beneficial) conversation during a long drive in the country, necessitated by the fact that I was about to direct him in one of the greatest romances of all time and facilitated beforehand by a wonderful and more-than competent therapist (thanks, Jim, wherever you are!). And third, I am not nor have I have been anywhere near as hot as young Mr. Grand. So now you know a little bit about me that you didn't know before.

I hope my U.S. readers have the same 4-day weekend I have. And thank you to all the police; firefighters; EMTs; doctors; nurses; technicians; pharmacists and other service workers who don't. I hope you're getting lots of OT or DT in exchange. You deserve it. Have a safe and happy holiday, America. I can't remember a happier one for me, even with that nostalgically bittersweet video (of course, Steve and his co-star help make it a little sweeter). Grand's website is under construction, so there's nothing to really link to him yet, but I'll be looking out for him and will surely post about him again. Like Father Tiger, if he keeps putting out great music like this, I'm sure he'll be around a while.

For the first time in a long time, I'm starting to (just a little bit) regain my faith in Humanity.

I'll be posting at least once or twice more before celebrating the Caliban's Revenge 5th Anniversary Super Post on July 9th. I hope I'm able to live up to the hype!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Country Music / Cute Boys / Gay / Holiday Weekends / Holidays / Hot / LGBT / Music Video / New Music / Sexy / Steve Grand / The Gayest Thing / TMI / Uncle P with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-gayest-new-music-and-hottest-boys.html. Thanks!

After the Superhero Leaves

If you've seen Pixar's hilarious Superhero/James Bond mashup movie, The Incredibles, then you know there is always a price to pay for the destruction caused by superheroes in their pursuit of supervillians. Sure, the Super has saved hundreds of thousands of lives from the hands of a madman, but at what cost? I know you've seen the trailers for Man of Steel. I must assume you saw The Avengers and at least the trailer for Ironman 3. Just at look at all the physical property destruction wreaked upon New York and Metropolis and wherever Tony Stark and Mr. & Mrs. Incredible live. Someone has to clean that mess up.

My amazing sister and her husband flew up from Florida to specifically come help me do some things around the house for which I don't have the skills or just couldn't do by myself. Thursday morning they showed up and the BIL went right to work, repairing the gate destroyed by Sandy (I knew there was a reason I didn't throw those pieces away). After he finished that, we went to a famous DIY box-store and spent an hour picking up supplies for the other jobs we had planned on tackling. I drove home at a steady 22 MPH with three 8x6 stockade fence panels tied to my luggage rack and a new ceiling fan for my kitchen; backsplash for my bathroom and assorted hardware for several other projects. Between 2 PM and 6 PM that afternoon, the BIL had installed the backsplash and the ceiling fan; the two of us put up the stockade fence and he repaired another chain-link fence on the short side of the back lawn. We had hoped to trim some of the horrifically overgrown vegetation along the two longer sides of the neighbors' fences, but it was raining off-and-on all day, so that got shelved. Meanwhile, my sister started sorting through some of Mom's extensive jewelery collection, looking for items of actual value. Mom has a lot of 'fashion' jewelry (what used to be called 'costume' jewelry), but she also had a whole lot of fine gold and silver stuff with plenty of real gemstones. Sis, along with being an extraordinary maker of cakes, used to work as a fine jewelry retailer and is a certified Diamondtologist. After a few hours of sorting and cleaning (and Mom's say-so), she had quite a pile of stuff Mom hasn't even seen in years, let alone worn. Exhausted, we met up later at a local diner (along with the BIL's equally gold-hearted sister and her very bright and funny son) for a huge celebratory meal. 

Yesterday, while Sis went off to sell the jewelry (which netted Mom far more much-needed cash than either of us anticipated), the BIL came back and started on the trimming we'd been unable to do on Thursday. And he had that look in his eye. The one that said, "I'm bored and I'm going to finish if it kills me." Using only an electric hedge trimmer and my small handsaw, he cleared 2/3 of the long-neglected weeds; vines; small trees and assorted Evil Dead-level vegetation in my backyard before accidentally cutting my 100' extension cord (something of which I've been guilty in the past). He vowed to repair or replace it (and he did). And while I truly appreciate all the hard work he put into it, it's going to take me several weeks to clear all the stuff he cut down. I alreafdy filled two large brown-paper lawn bags and barely touched a quarter of it Trust me, I am NOT complaining! I love that he did as much as he could while here. Hell, I wish we could have done more. And while I still have a ton of work to do in the yard, it hardly seems as overwhelming as it once did. Cleaning up after the superhero is certainly better than fighting the villain alone, no matter how sore one's legs, back and shoulders are... (I should buy stock in the company that makes 'Aleve'). It sucks getting old, kids.

I don't know. Maybe Man of Steel has me all worked up. I just know that I love my siblings and everything they do for me! And I can't wait until I can go down to the F state again for a proper visit!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article DIY / Family / Holidays / Home / Long Weekends / My BIL / My Sister / Repairs / Superheroes with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/05/after-superhero-leaves.html. Thanks!

Time With My Favorite Person in the World.

Uncle P's Sister

Only my sister and people who know both of us will fully grasp the hilarity of the picture to your right. Trust me, she will not find this picture offensive in the least. In fact, she'll email or Facebook me her approval, because Heaven forfend she should ever actually comment on her brother's blog no matter how much he hints, nags or goads. She's as stubborn as our Hungarian grandmother. Then again, I'm as stubborn as our German mother.

So, double good news for the upcoming Memorial Day Holiday. Sis and the BIL are heading North and Uncle P has a 3-day work week followed by a 5-day weekend! Mom and the BIL are no doubt preparing for what they call our 'secret language,' though truth be told, for as much as the brat and I have in common, we have just as much not. Of course, our differences are secondary to both of us. We argue, like all siblings (we had a mini-argument on the phone today) but make no mistake -- we would defend one another with our lives. 

We have always laughed together far more than we've been cross with one another, and I'd say that ratio continues to grow toward the laughing as we get older. And truth be told, there are plenty of things that she and I share with no one else in the world: Phrases; quotes; sounds; jokes and bits of nonsense that never fail to make us laugh, often to the consternation of those around us, who sadly have no idea why we're crying or bent over in laughter-induced abdominal pain. And make no mistake, many of those folks have known both of us for many years and still have no idea why we find something as hilarious as we do. 

And honestly, we like it that way.

Whether it's down in Florida (yes, I know) or here in PA, I'll never say 'no' to spending time with my little sister. She's pretty great. I hope you and your siblings (if you have them) are as close as my sister and I are. The next three days will be torture...

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Cakes / Holidays / My Sister / Nonsense / Silly / Vacation with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/05/time-with-my-favorite-person-in-world.html. Thanks!

Happy Mother's Day?

Even Maniacs Have Mothers

Today was Mother's Day here in the U.S., a day when children honor their mothers with gifts; special meals and awkward photos on Facebook. Mother's Day was created in 1908 by Anna Jarvis but wasn't officially celebrated until 1914. By the 20's, Jarvis said that she had become disillusioned with the commercialization of the holiday, though it is now celebrated world-wide. Hallmark, American Greetings and the floral industry would beg to differ with Ms. Jarvis' complaints..

Uncle P's mom emphatically told me she wanted no gifts from me or my sister because we had bought her that lifting recliner earlier this year. Of course, we both ignored her and bought her gifts anyway. I got her books (she loves to read) and my sister sent K-cups for the Keurig I bought her for Christmas. I also made her a meal of lobster tail and Lima beans (two things I really hate, though she really loves). Regular readers know Mom's health isn't the best and I want to make sure every holiday is special for her.

Unfortunately, not everyone has a mother as loving and caring as mine. Some mothers are just downright awful. And here's some proof:

Okay, I know that's not fair. Not every mother is an insane religious zealot bent on perverting everything that is normal for teenaged girls. But imagine your mother as a traitor:

Or maybe just as an egomaniacal control freak:



Or a cold-hearted bitch who blames you for your brother's suicide:



Or an insane mass-murderer:

I hope your Mom is as wonderful, loving and caring as mine is. If your Mom is gone, I hope you have wonderful memories of her that you keep close to your heart. And if you are a Mom reading this, I hope your children remembered you on your special day. 

Love you, Mom! Happy Mother's Day!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Clips / Holidays / Mother's Day / Movies / My Mother / Nonsense / Trailers with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/05/happy-mother-day.html. Thanks!

VD

So... Today was Valentine's Day. You'll notice they've taken the "Saint" out of the holiday. Valentine was supposedly a Christian martyr who may have, among many other myths, performed illegal Christian marriages. His remains are reportedly interred in Ireland. Most modern, right-wing Christians don't really think about the time when being a Christian was punishable by death under Roman law. Or if they do, they certainly don't equate that persecution with their persecution of modern minorities.

The image on the right is from a series of "Puritan Valentines" posted on CollegeHumor.com, though it certainly expresses the opinion of the happily dwindling number of people in the U.S. who think I and others like me are evil; possessed; mentally ill; morally bankrupt; perverted; unnatural; hell-bound; filthy; sick or otherwise corrupted.

People complain that Valentine's Day is a "Hallmark Holiday," concocted by the Greeting Card; Jewelry; Floral and Candy Industries to drive sales in early spring, after having drained consumers' wallets just two months prior.. Having spent my fair share of time working in many aspects of retail, I can assure you that this is partially true. Still, there is something exhilarating about romantic love and the idea of a 'soul mate.' While T and I exchanged Valentine's texts (his was particularly sweet) and talked tonight,  I can't exactly say we're each other's 'Valentines.' Not yet, any way.

As for the Day Job's 'Red Food Party' today, everyone laughed along with Uncle P and "The Tale of the Wrong Spice." I promised to make them correctly for next month's 'Green Food Party' (remind me to buy green food coloring). 

If you had hot, romantic fun times with your Valentine today/tonight, go you! If not, here are some goats that sort of sound like people:

Sorry. I'm "in a mood," as they say.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Gay / Goats / Holidays / Links / Marriage Equality / Nonsense / Ramblings / Valentine's Day / Video with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/02/vd.html. Thanks!

Review: "Skyfall"

As a Bond fan since I was kid (damn, Connery was sexy), I have had my share of yeahs and nays among Bond portrayals. George Lazenby - no. Roger Moore - meh. Timothy Dalton - lame. Pierce Brosnan - maybe. Brosnan was by far the best choice since Connery, as far as I am concerned. 

Then they announced the newest Bond - Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. Like many Bond fans, I was initially up in arms about Craig's casting. How could this lemon-sucking, squinty-eyed, bulb-nosed blond play the sexiest spy in screen in history? I joined the haters and vowed not to see the 2006 movie. But then the pictures of Craig in that blue bathing suit came out. And then the mostly excellent movie came out and almost all was forgiven. Of course, it helped that the movie was the best Bond film since the Connery era. Then came 2008's Quantum of Solace. The plot made as much sense as the title (granted, it was developed during the 2007-2008 Writers' Strike) and I lost faith in both Craig and the franchise. What a mess of a movie. Worse than even the worst of the Moore Bond movies, Quantum had me ready to give up on filmdom's longest-running franchise altogether.

Today, D and I finally got together for the holidays and saw a matinee of the latest in the 50-year old series, Skyfall, before exchanging our holiday gifts (more on those in a moment). And I am happy to report that director Sam Mendes (American Beauty; Revolutionary Road) has finally managed to create an exciting, entertaining and narratively sensical Bond movie.

Presumed dead after falling from a train in Turkey, Bond returns to MI6 after a terrorist attack kills six agents and destroys M's (Dame Judi Dench) office. Following a trail of murder, money and babes, Bond is eventually captured by the villain Silva (Javier Bardem). Thanks to the new Q (Cloud Atlas cutie Ben Wishaw), Silva is captured (after a rather homoerotically charged encounter with Bond) and it is revealed that Silva is actually a former MI6 agent intent on taking revenge on M because... well, see it for yourselves. When Silva escapes (via a rather contrived plot device), Bond takes M to his childhood home for safe-keeping and a final confrontation with Silva and his henchmen. Along the way, bad guys are eaten by Komodo dragons; exotic weapons are employed and beautiful women are used and abused by both good and bad guys. 

Craig, as a very stoic and far-less wise-cracking Bond, spends much of the first half of the movie half-naked, satisfying a good 2/3 of the audience while still managing to create the rather tortured Bond of Ian Fleming's novels. Bardem (his hair and eyebrows bleached, adding an extra-creepiness to his bug-eyed, lop-sided nose visage) is perfect and the always wonderful Dench gets lots more screen time than usual. Add Ralph Fiennes as the less-uptight-prig-than-he-seems MI6 administrator; the gorgeous Naomie Harris as Moneypenny and the (surprisingly still-alive) Albert Finney as an aging Bond family ally, and you end up with what is probably the best Bond film of the last 20 years.

As with every Bond film, the plot devises; action and sex scenes are ridiculous on the surface. But they are all redeemed by some terrific performances and a plot which actually makes sense for a change. D and I both enjoyed this latest entry entry in the franchise, though we differed on whether it was better than the last two films. I said it was, while he he thought it wasn't as good as Casino Royale. *** (Three Out of Four Stars).

As for our Holiday get-together, D gave me one of my favorite gifts this year:

I so love that those I love and those who love me, know me so well!

I am torn between displaying this gem at home or the Day Job. The folks at the Day Job already think I'm insane, while those who know me best know so.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Dear D / Gifts / Holidays / James Bond / Movies / Reviews with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/01/review.html. Thanks!

Dinner, Gifts and Time with Dear Friends.

(Not Uncle P's Meatballs)

So... last Saturday's snow/rain/sleet storm prevented Uncle P from having a holiday dinner and gift exchange with some of my oldest and dearest friends, with whom I get together every few months for a culinary experiment. This time we weren't taking any chances, but planned a simple and traditional Italian meal of lasagna and meatballs. Luckily, both freeze well and we were able to reschedule for tonight.

Mary's lasagna was just delicious and 17 of Uncle P's 18 rustic meatballs marinara were consumed by the seven of us. Of course, Q's delightful salad with thick, sweet Black Walnut Balsamic and Deb's amazing red velvet cupcakes made it a rather amazing meal. 

After dinner, those of us who hadn't already done so, finally got to exchange our Holiday gifts (I loved everything I got). Of course, as always with this particular group of friends (most of whom I've known for well-over 30 years), the meal and gifts are a far distant second to spending time together. Spending time with these six very dear friends (and a few others) helps make the mendacity of everyday life less so. I hope you have some equally amazing people in your life who make it better just by being a part of it.

Tomorrow I will be having my last gift exchange of the season, when Dear D and I meet for a matinee showing of Skyfall (which I'll be reviewing tomorrow night), followed immediately by drinks and yet more gifts.

I hope your weekend is as good as mine has been (and promises to continue to be). I'll try and recreate my aborted "American Horror Story" post from last night on Monday, unless something else catches my attention between now and then.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article Cooking / Cupcakes / Dear D / Dinners / Food / Friends / Gifts / Holidays / Italian / Lasagna / Meatballs with the title Holidays. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2013/01/dinner-gifts-and-time-with-dear-friends.html. Thanks!