Deepak Oprah or: 'Oh No, She Dit-int!'

The Lizard Queen?

"Uma... Oprah. Oprah... Uma." - David Letterman, hosting the 67th Academy Awards in 1995. 

As reported in several media outlets, while interviewing endurance swimmer Diana Nyad, Oprah Winfrey has supposedly said that atheists don't believe in awe and wonder. And while I and every other Humanist I know would disagree 1000% with that concept, further review of the clip may well belie that claim. 

What the 'lifestyle guru' actually says is that she doesn't believe that an appreciation of and belief in awe and wonder constitute atheism.  OK. Big deal I don't really see the reason for Humanist/Atheist outrage here. In fact, Nyad's logical and well-spoken response is pretty dead-on. 

Can I not believe in a "Creator" and still be 'spiritual?' Odd as it may seem to some, yes. Of course I can. As I often told Mom, one of the laws of physics is that energy and matter can neither be created or destroyed; only transformed. Our 'spirits' (or minds) are the result of the electrical impulses in our brains, which evolved over eons to become modern Homo-Sapiens. Of all of this I am more than certain. Beyond that... there is likely little more. It would be nice to believe in an afterlife, I suppose. I'm sure it gives many people comfort and a way to deal with knowledge of our own mortality. Mom always thought of religion as a 'crutch' for the weak and frightened. And while I would never deny anyone's right to think otherwise, you all know by now that I think so, as well. Among Mom's last wishes was for her body to be donated for research and/or teaching. Her wishes have been honored. A private dinner for family and friends will be held in Mom's memory at a date and place to be determined.

The Cult of Winfrey is no more or less ridiculous than any other, be it religious or momentarily culturally relevant. She didn't actually say what she's been misquoted as saying. And she, like every other human being has the right to do so, is simply expressing her own beliefs. And whether you agree or not, it's no reason to (you should forgive the expression) demonize the woman. Yes, she's promoted her fair share of charlatans; liars and fakirs. She's in the Business of Show, my friends. She doesn't care if you really buy what she's selling. I assure you, she's far more interested in you buying what her advertisers are selling. 

Watch the 'controversial' clip below (via) and decide for yourselves. I'm not afraid to tell you what I do and don't believe. Don't be afraid to disagree. I won't think too much less of you...;)  

Here's the thing: What matters is now. Life live on your own terms but do nothing to harm others. Tell the people you love that you love them as often as you can. Treat everyone... EVERYONE... the same: with compassion, respect and empathy. Laugh often; laugh hardily; laugh loudly! Taste everything you eat or drink. Savor every damned bite of every delicious thing! Don't waste your time or energy on negativity. Take risks. Travel. Meet new people and make new friends. Don't deny yourself, but take care yourself, as well. Move. Dance. Have sex. Act. Write. Create. Make love. Do what brings you you joy. Get everything you can out of every moment you can. It' all we've got, folks. It's all we've got.

More, anon.
Prospero

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Ironic Tragedy

F5 Tornado - Topeka, KS. 1966

Tornadoes are measured on the Fujita Scale, named for University of Chicago Meteorologist Tetsuya Fujita, who developed the scale in 1971 (my sweet friend Chris will be so excited that I've done some research on his lifelong obsession, even if I actually learned that from a movie long before I met him). The scale goes from 1 to 5. An F5 tornado is massive and consists of winds up to 300+ MPH. The description of an F5 (via) is terrifying:

"Incredible damage. 

"Strong frame houses lifted off foundations and carried considerable distances to disintegrate; automobile sized missiles fly through the air in excess of 100 m (109 yd); trees debarked; steel reinforced concrete structures badly damaged." 

That's what happened in Oklahoma, today. "Incredible Damage." And it was. The footage on TV and on line is horrifying. As if this writing, there are no final figures, so I won't talk about casualties. I will talk about brave teachers who led their students to safety. I'll never understand why people no longer respect nor approve of teachers. It's no wonder no one wants to go into teaching, anymore. 

But that's neither here nor there. In the wake of this tragedy, as with any natural disaster, myself and everyone like me is going to be blamed for it. In fact, I am certain that as of this writing, some wingnut Evangelical has said the tornadoes were 'God's' punishment for the country's sinful attitudes towards Queer people. Seriously. Don't wait too long before Shirley Phelps and her viperous kinfolk show up to blame a random act of nature on me; my friends; my family and everyone like us. And then there's Pat Robertson, whom I am sure will simply disregard actual, proven science and say that 'God' is vengeful and wrathful and wants to punish us for our sins. I have to wonder why 'God' would take his anger out on a region mostly populated by Robertson's kind of Christians. Shouldn't an angry supreme being  have better targets of destruction? Vegas, maybe. L.A. and New York and San Francisco? Hello? Key West? Provincetown? Miami? New Hope?  No, 'God' chooses Moore, OK, right in the middle of the Bible Belt. What kind of a-hole supreme being punishes the pious for the sins of the wicked? The Judeo-Christian God of Abraham is pretty much a dick, by those standards. 

Meteorologists often refer to an F5 as "The Finger of God." This leads me think of 'God' as a petulant child, swiping away anthills and crushing those ants left behind with his thumb. Either that, or he's a psychopath. I think the thought of 'God' as a snot-nosed 6-year-old psychopath actually scares me much more than the thought of my own mortality. How cruel would it be if we were all living at the whim of a lunatic toddler?

Like any natural disaster, today's events take a psychological toll on everyone, no matter what one believes. But the great thing about humanity is this: We get back up. We fix what's broken. We move on, no matter how painful it may be to do so. Some folks turn to their faith, which is perfectly fine. Some folks volunteer, which is even better because it actually accomplishes something. 

Here's some rather scary footage from today's event (via):

First and foremost, these folks need food, water, clothing and medicine.  Donate to your local Red Cross or start your own drive. Uncle P was inconvenienced for a few days last October by Sandy. I don't even want to think about what these poor people are going through. Want to make a difference? Don't waste your time praying. Send a blanket, some canned food or a couple of bucks. It'll do so much more good.

More, anon.

Prospero

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Where's Chris Hansen When We Need Him?

To Catch a Predator?

I don't mean to make light of pedophilia and illegal sexual activity with that picture on your left, but since 'Herbert the Pervert' never really seems to get what he wants on "Family Guy," I suppose his non-stop ogling of youngsters can be seen as comedic. Tasteless? Politically incorrect? Offensive? Of course it is. But then no one is watching "Family Guy" for its 'Family values.' And honestly, if you can't find the humor in Seth McFarlane's outrageously offensive show, then go watch "America's Funniest Videos" and shut up.

Of course, the same can't be said for the hundreds of Catholic priests who actually acted upon their urges and assaulted who knows how many young boys and girls under the guise of being someone they were supposed to trust. So it comes as no surprise that following the announcement of his abdication, Pope Benedict will be afforded immunity from prosecution in his involvement in covering up the many sex crimes committed by priests under his watch as both a Cardinal and Pope, by being granted permanent residency in the sovereign state of The Vatican.

On the heels of this latest announcement, comes word that a convicted sex-offender has just been appointed to a prominent position in the Newark, NJ archdiocese. Rev. Michael Fugee has been appointed co-director of Continuing Education and Ongoing Formation of Priests for the diocese. Every resident of New Jersey should be pounding on the diocese' door, demanding this creeps head on a pike (or at least his genitals on barbecue skewer). This is the kind of man who scares normally rational people into thinking that all LGBT people are evil.

For centuries, the Catholic Church has wielded far too much power over its adherents, resulting in more torture, murder and war than any other entity in history. Starting in 1095, the Church waged a "Crusade" against Muslims and Jews which went on for 200 years. Richard the Lionheart is still revered as an English King who led his troops into battle against the 'Infidels' (and served as part of the inspiration for the Robin Hood mythos). In reality, The Crusades were violently brutal, resulting in the deaths of millions. 200 or so years later saw the Spanish Inquisition, during which (under the rule of Grand Inquisitor Tomas de Torquemada, confessor to Queen Isabella), thousands of Jews and Muslims were tortured and murdered. And let's not forget the silent assent from Pope Pius XII, who never uttered a word about Hitler's 'Final Solution.'

And now sexual abuse among Catholic priests appears to have been rampant for the past 40, 50 or even 60 years (and probably much, much more). So what does the church do? Nothing. They promote pedophiles and hide and protect those who were complicit in hiding and promoting pedophiles. As a Cardinal, Joseph Ratzinberger helped hide these men and now that he is resigning as Pope, he will be protected from prosecution under Vatican law. "Disgusting" doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this injustice.

And as much as I would like to see the HRC (NOT the Human Rights Campaign) go down in flames (indeed - as much as I'd like to see ALL superstition take the same track), there are billions of frightened, unenlightened and superstitious folks who still cling to unscientific ideals in the hope they will 'live' forever. The same principles can be applied to radical, religious fanaticists of any faith. "Rationalism" and "Science" seem to be words missing from from all of their vocabularies.

Of course, if the HRC has to have a Pope, I'd vote for Pope Betty:

She may not be perfect, but at least she's honest!

More, anon.
Prospero

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Nope! He's a-No Longer de Pope!**

Insert The Omen Theme Here

My Day Job Co-Worker: "The Pope's stepping down!"

Uncle P: "He never should have stepped up."

Other Co-Worker: "You got that right! He should never have been Pope in the first place." 

The single most unpopular Pope in modern history*, Pope Benedict today announced that he is resigning due to his age and health. He is the first Pope to resign in over 400 years. Of course, Benedict had a hard act to follow. John Paul II was the most beloved Pope in modern history; a charismatic man who survived an assassination attempt and exuded kindness. Benedict, an honestly creepy old man with Draconian values turned out to be not only horrendously homophobic but complicit in covering up sexual abuse while a bishop in Germany. Corruption, depravity and hypocrisy are nothing new in the Catholic Church. Perverts, pederasts and murderers have all been Pope, many times over. Of course today, shaman and fakirs hold much less power over rationalism and people aren't afraid to tell the truth, especially when those they were supposed to be able to trust, violated them so personally and so horribly.

Such an historic announcement certainly seems to me to have deeper and exceptional significance in the secret annals of the Vatican vaults. I truly believe that there is a secret being buried that is so explosive, the Church would never recover should it get out. 

Now you know me. I'm hardly a conspiracy nut. But if any organization has reason to conspire a cover-up. it's the Holy Roman Catholic Church. No, I'm not suggesting that that ridiculous DaVinci novel is true. Or that Beyonce's flashing of an Illuminati sign at the Superbowl was the signal to take German Joe down. Of course, Pat Robertson would have you believe 'Nemo' (I still think that's a stupid name for a storm, Jules Verne be damned) is punishment for the states which approved Marriage Equality in November. Hey, Pat. 'Nemo' is nature's punishment for us abusing the environment, ya douche.

Many LGBT groups are happy to see Benedict go. 'Other Co-Worker' predicted we will see a Pope of color next, citing several Brazilian Cardinals on the "short list." Okay. Still, no one should get too excited about real progress in the Church any time soon. The Cardinals are still all a bunch of old men, obsessed with sex because they aren't supposed to have it. What's that saying about the deliciousness of forbidden fruit? Absurd doesn't even begin to cover it.

Secular society will move forward first, and the Church will eventually follow in another generation or two (they'll have to, if they want to remain relevant to the few remaining followers they'll have by then). People are still afraid to let go of superstition, though the tide is turning toward rationalism and reason. It amazed me to see how freeing it was to do so. Life is too short and too precious to worry about what happens later. What matters is now. 

I can't stress this enough: If you are living a lie because some religious leader told you that you were evil; if you are afraid of what people will think of you; if you think your family will abandon you... the worst thing that's going to happen to you is going to happen to every single one of us, no matter what we do. Why not enjoy the very brief gift we've been given to its fullest? Don't hide your light under a bushel (you should pardon the reference, no matter how relevant). Come out and love the life you deserve with someone who deserves your love.

And the next time you complain when you can't get cell-phone reception, think about the kid in some refugee camp who can't get enough food to keep the cramps away. 

Don't live your life the way someone else tells you should. Live it in the way you know you should. Live the way that brings joy to you, those that you love and those who love you back. They are the only ones who matter. Trust me.

So, maybe this video is the big secret. Or the one below:

Oh, how love crazy people. I have no doubt the Pope is evil. Just not in the way these nutjobs have concluded. Benedict is evil in the way that all people who perpetrate mythology as truth; homophobia as righteous and hate as love, are evil.

You have no power here. Begone, before someone drops a house on you!

More, anon.
Prospero

*You gotta be pretty bad to be less popular than a Nazi sympathizer.

**Once a Musical Theatre Geek, always a Musical Theatre Geek

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Blue Moonies

Sun Myung Moon

When I was a teenager in the 70's, 'religious cults' were all the rage in the news. Of course, the Manson murders and the Jonestown mass suicides had a lot to do with that. There were tons of stories about parents hiring 'deprogrammers' to rescue their children from religious cults. 

Among the most infamous and most visible of these cults were the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (known as the 'Hare Krishnas')* and The Holy Spirit Association  for the Unification of World Christianity, or more simply the Unification Church, led by the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. Moon claimed that Jesus came to him at the age of 15 and implored him to spread a message that combined Christianity, Judaism, Islam and traditional Korean beliefs. The 'Moonies' are probably best known for the mass-marriages performed by Moon himself -- most notably at Madison Square Garden in 1982. 

Moon died today at the age of 92, his 'church' having become a rather lucrative business over the years, which includes the ownership of The Washington Times. I am sure that Moonies all over the world are wailing and gnashing their teeth. Moon's children have long ago taken over running the church, so I doubt his death will stop the flow of millions of dollars, yen and baht to their pockets.

Here's the thing: To me, all religions are cults. They indoctrinate their followers with promises of eternal life and threats of eternal damnation. 'God' says to them "I love you but if you don't obey me, I'll send you to hell." Really? Did your parents ever tell you that if you didn't listen to them you would suffer eternal damnation?  I'm so sorry if they did.

Religion grew out of fear of the unknown. Early men (and women) ascribed all kinds of powers to invisible beings who controlled things they didn't understand, like lightning and earthquakes. The smarter and more ambitious of them used this ignorance to their advantage in order to control and dominate the weaker and less intelligent members of their tribes. As language evolved and writing came into regular use, the priests and shamans carved their gods' rules into tablets and inked them onto scrolls, claiming they were dictated directly by whatever deity they followed. Sadly, men remain rather superstitious creatures and still follow ancient texts written by ignorant men who only wanted to control others through fear. 

Sun Myung Moon and his ilk are no different from Joseph Smith, the Pope, Pat Robertson and Billy Graham. Deluded by texts written by people who had no knowledge of science, these men still believe that Bronze-Age barbarians had conversations with a 'higher being' who told them that pork and shellfish are 'abominations' and sex is filthy and should only ever be used for procreation. All of it makes my head hurt.

*In 1967, James Rado, Gerome Ragni and Galt Macdermot used the Hare Krishnas' mantra as part of a number in their anti-establishment musical Hair. It's one of my favorite numbers from that show. Below is Academy Award-winning director Milos Forman's hallucinogenic version of it from his 1979 film version (one of the few movies I saw on a 'date' with girl):

Of course, science has proven that many of the 'visions' described in the Bible were probably the result of ingesting one of the many natural hallucinogens available to ancient 'prophets,' much like those ingested or smoked by the shamans of indigenous Western peoples. Today, xenophobia and homophobia remain the most powerful building blocks for modern religions. Here's hoping that one day, those fears will be absolutely refuted and religion will fall the way of the dinosaurs.

More, anon.
Prospero

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