Independence Day

My maternal grandmother (bless her potty-mouthed little heart) was born on July 4th and when she was a little girl, her parents told her the fireworks were for her birthday. When she learned the truth, it was worse than finding out about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy combined. Can you imagine being so crushed?

I've always been truly proud and grateful to be an American citizen. But it's sad to me to see folks who only claim their pride at special times of the year (like 'Christians' who only go to church on Easter and Christmas) or during stressful times like the days and weeks following 9-11. I don't remember seeing that many flags ever in those weeks following the tragedy. Nor have I seen that many, since. It seems to me that most Americans take what we have for granted, with no appreciation for it all. Especially today, when I speak with so many young people at the day job who have a bizarrely inflated sense of entitlement, instilled  in them (no doubt) by parents who grew up wanting nothing.

America's not perfect, mind you. No society ever can be (and should you find yourself  in one which professes to be so, run!). We still have massive civil rights issues; racism; homophobia; religious persecution; poverty; crime; lack of education... the list goes on and on. But imagine living someplace like North Korea, where a corrupt megalomaniac has set himself up as demigod, while the people he rules suffer the lack of the most basic rights. Or China, where the state still persecutes and tortures those with dissident voices and religion is officially illegal. Imagine yourself as a young girl under Taliban rule, forced to bend to the whims of every man you know, unable to drive; read; think or speak for yourself. Or what if you were a young African woman, sexually mutilated to deliberately deny you your body's natural response to pleasure? 

Evangelist Pat Robertson recently said (and I am paraphrasing here) that Marriage Equality would bring the wrath of God down upon America, as did Sodom and Gomorrah. Really? Well, why hasn't he already done so in the nine countries where Marriage Equality is (and has been) legal? Same Gender Marriage is legal in Argentina; Belgium; Canada; the Netherlands; Norway; Portugal; Spain; Sweden and Mexico. Last time I checked, none of those countries have fallen into the sea; been consumed by fire or ravaged by plagues of locusts, frogs or boils. I've heard no reports of anyone turning to salt, either. Have you? So why are we, in 2011, still having this debate? History will record who was wrong, just as it did with the US Civil War; just as it did with Rosa Parks and just as it always will. Progress may be slow, but it is gaining steam everyday. The bigots and fascists will be silenced, as they always are.

On the coat cabinet at my day job's cubicle I have posted a sign with a picture of Uncle Sam in the classic pose. Under the picture are these words: I Want You to Stop Being Afraid of Other Races and Religions; Other Classes and Other Ideals. You're American First. Act Like It!

So I want you to take a moment and think about lucky we are to not only enjoy the freedoms we already have, but to appreciate the fact that we can evolve as a society and allow everyone the same rights as everyone else, something about which I can't imagine our forefathers to be in disagreement. 

I wish you all a safe and Happy Independence Day. Enjoy your cookouts and fireworks. Don't blow yourself (or any part of yourself) up. And take a moment to be thankful for your right to be an idiot, should you blow yourself (or any part of yourself) up. To my readers outside the US (and I know there are at least two of you), Happy (belated) Canada Day and God Save the Queen. And now, this:

And to lighten the mood, this:


More, anon.
Prospero

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America! F**k Yeah!

This one is for Stephen in Portland, who posted the trailer to what is undoubtedly one of the most pain-inducingly funny movies ever made, as a secondary portion of his Fourth of July post about his husband's recent hand surgery (please visit his blog and wish Hubby well -- tell him Uncle P sent you). I saw this film with my college buddy Brian N.* and his lovely wife, Carol. Brian and I were doubled over in pain, laughing; while poor, sweet Carol spent the whole movie saying "Oh, dear! Oh, my!" which only served to make it funnier for both her husband and I. Honestly, the scene in the alley behind the bar nearly sent me to the hospital the first time I saw it.

If you've never seen Team America World Police, you may want to watch "South Park" on Comedy Central. If you like South Park, then you probably already know and love Team America. If you hate South Park (and I don't know anyone who does, other than my 75 year-old auntie, who hates everything but exceptionally crappy horror movies and "Ghost Hunters"), then I'd recommend you see something else.

Here's the trailer for Team America, which gives no real indication of the foul-mouthed; perverted; potty-humored; absurdly brilliant satire that Trey Parker and Matt Stone have crafted:

The story concerns Gary, an actor in the Broadway musical 'Lease,' where the big showstopping number is called "Everyone Has AIDS:"

Gary is recruited to go undercover for Team America, because of his amazing acting skills. And willingness to undergo painful facial reconstruction, only to end up looking like a 12 year-old's attempt at making a werewolf costume. We soon learn that Middle Eastern terrorists are actually being funded by the evil Kim Jong-Il (language NSFW):

The North Korean dictator is sent up in a much funnier Bond villain parody than Dr. Evil could ever be, especially when considering a deliriously silly scene involving adorable little house cats as giant panthers and another in which a baby shark tears away at a fish-filled Hans Blix puppet.

All kinds of insanity (and hilariously dirty puppet sex - both straight and gay) ensues, leading up to Gary doubting himself enough to get very, very drunk (NSFW and not for the squeamish, though effing hilarious!):

Thankfully, I've never seen a pond of vomit, in real life.

The insanely over-the-top jingoism of Team America (who fly in to stop terrorism, only to cause far more destruction in doing so), can best be summed up in the title of both tonight's post, and the movie's theme song (very NSFW):

No ethnic group, minority or celebrity is spared a skewering, which somehow makes all that skewering OK. Parker and Stone are equal opportunity offenders and since no one is safe, no one should feel threatened or discriminated against. Taking on everything from strange 60's Sci-Fi shows; Jame Bond; the French; Islamic terrorists and Broadway to left-wing celebrities; puppet porn; the NRA and Matt Damon, Team America World Police works so well on so many levels. Crude, rude but just so damned funny, TAWP is an absurd and nonsensical pleasure about which no one should feel guilty.

So tonight, as I watch the neighborhood fireworks through the window above my monitor with that certain amount of jingoism that seems infect all Americans this time of year, I am reminded that satire is protected under "Freedom of Speech" and I can't help but think that even with all our nation's flaws (and you do not need me to remind you of them), I still live in the Greatest Country in the World.

Happy Birthday America! **

More, anon.
Prospero

PS - That promised review of that new NBC show is coming... I just got such a tickle from revisiting this movie tonight, I had to share.

*Brian and I met doing theatre in college and have been jokingly competitive about our shared name, ever since. And bizarrely, even though she has met him on more than one occasion, K still insists that Brian doesn't actually exist.

**Talk about Bond villains!

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A Very Muppets 4th of July

Embrace the nonsense:



More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article 4th of July / Holidays / Muppets / Nonsense / Video with the title 4th of July. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2009/07/a-very-muppets-4th-of-july.html. Thanks!

Happy 4th of July!

As a youngster, July was a month filled with celebrations. My maternal Grandmother's birthday was on the 4th; my paternal Uncle John's birthday was on the 16th; my birthday was the 18th and my father's was the 23rd. It was a month filled with parties, fireworks, barbecues and Hungarian "Dirty Bread" (a peasant delicacy that is soooo good, but soooo bad for you).

There were Sundays at the Jersey Shore (holla, Seaside Heights!) and St. Mike's church carnival. My sister and I would spend hours in the pool - well past the pruney-fingers stage - and school seemed a distant memory.

Of course, those days are now a distant memory. My grandmother, uncle and father are long gone. I haven't been to Seaside in ages and I haven't had Dirty Bread (I can say, but not spell the Hungarian words for it) since Hector was a pup. In fact, this July 5th marks the 10th anniversary of my father's passing. Not that that's a sad thing - my dad turned out to be quite a jerk as I got older. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, I just didn't like him very much.

And please forgive me for getting a bit melancholy - I suppose that has as much to do with getting a year older as anything else. These days, I'm left with only the 4th and my birthday to celebrate in July.

I suppose the point is - have fun. Enjoy the weekend. Eat burgers and hotdogs (and Dirty Bread, if you're Hungarian) and watch fireworks and go to your local church fair and spend time at the beach and revel in the company of your loved ones. I'm spending my birthday with dear friends (we're going out dancing, no mater how much my knees may scream at me the next day) and getting new ink (if you haven't read my previous post, please do so, and vote on which design you like best). I'm forgetting my chronological age and acting as young as I feel mentally. I'm telling the people I love that I love them. I'm having fun because life can suck when you don't.

Stay sane and safe (I'd hate to hear one of you lost a finger, hand or eye - or worse - to fireworks) Holiday weekend. Tell the folks you love how much you love them. As Michael and Billy proved last week, it can all be gone too quickly.

More, anon.

Prospero

You have read this article 4th of July / Birthdays / Celebrations / Fireworks / Holidays / Ramblings with the title 4th of July. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2009/07/happy-4th-of-july.html. Thanks!