Best of the Decade: Horror Movies

First, I must address something my sister brought up about last night's posts on the Best TV Shows of the Decade by saying she was shocked that I hadn't included "Fringe" on the list. While I do believe it is currently one of the best shows on TV, and should have at least been given an 'Honorable Mention' (something I'm adding to tonight's list), in a Top Ten list, there should only be 10. And while I could have placed it in a tie with another show, I don't think that would have been fair to either one. Of course, my sister has yet to actually comment here, rather than send me an email so maybe we'll wait to share her thoughts until she shares them herself...

Anyway, as promised, below are my picks for the Best Horror Movies of the Decade. That's not to say that all of them scared me. It takes an awful lot to actually scare Uncle P, and that hasn't happened in a very long time. But many of them either disturbed or unnerved me. All of them were exceptionally entertaining, for any number of reasons.

I know I have lots of Horror Fan readers. I hope you agree (but won't be in the least slighted if you don't). Here we go:

10: Saw (2004)

Yes, Saw. The franchise may have devolved into ridiculously convoluted parodies of itself, but the original from Australian writers James Wan and Leigh Whannell was exceptionally well-done and featured a twist ending that actually surprised yours truly, something M. Knight Shamalamdingdong has never been able to do. Directed by Wan and featuring a truly diverse cast which includes Cary Elwes; Danny Glover; Dina Myer; Monica Potter; Shawnee Smith and "Lost" alums Ken Leung and Michael Emmerson, Saw deserved all the attention it got at Sundance. Sadly, it didn't deserve any of its increasingly lame sequels.

9: Zombieland (2009)

While hardly the the first comedy to take on the genre, Zombieland gets extra points for its out-and-out ballsiness.   Jesse Eisenberg; Woody Harrelson; Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin are having a ball as a group of survivors in search of a fabled "Zombie-Free Zone" at an amusement park in southern California. And I won't even get into the gut-bustingly funny cameo by Bill Murray.Warning: Here there be 'Evil You Know Whats' that sent Dear D into a fetal position in the corner of his seat. "Nut up or shut up!"

8: Slither (2006)

So many reasons to love this movie: gorgeous Nathan Fillion ("Castle;" "Firefly"); hot Elizabeth Banks (almosy every thing her husband Judd Apatow, directed); hilarious Gregg Henry ("The Gilmore Girls" and who should totally play Chance's father on "Human Target") and Michael Rooker ("The Walking Dead"); bad 80's horror homage; a billion and four jokes and the best line since Dead Alive* - "Somethin's wrong with me..." When a slug-like alien invades a small Southern town, the resulting zombie/alien/gross-out fun is as over-the-top as it gets. Writer/Director James Gunn wrote the screenplay to Zack Snyder's 2004 excellent remake of Dawn of the Dead.

7: The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Rocker turned director Rob Zombie's sequel to his debut film, House of 1000 Corpses, is as brutal and nasty as they come.  An homage to 70's horror, The Devil's Rejects is a tale of revenge more than anything; has some of the most disturbing scenes in any movie; an amazing performance from Leslie Easterbrook and lunatics as only Sid Haig and Bill Mosely could portray them. Oh, yeah. it will forever change what you think about when you hear "Freebird."

6: The Mist (2007)

Frank Darabont has been one of the very directors to right by Stephen King. His versions of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile are nearly flawless (I can't watch The Green Mile without bawling like a baby, no matter how many times I've seen it), so it's no wonder his adaptation of my favorite King short story is on this list. After an "incident" takes place at a military facility, a strange mist envelops the small town below, trapping a group of neighbors in the local grocery as unimaginable creatures roam outside, mostly unseen. Creepy and fun, The Mist features hottie Thomas Jane, Darabont favorites Laurie Holder and Jeffrey DeMunn (both in "The Walking Dead") and Marcia Gay Harden in a performance that would have been nominated if it wasn't in a horror movie. And Darabont's disturbing ending is actually far more effective than King's, which was completely ambiguous. 

5: The Descent (2005)

Claustrophobic; terrifying; original... just a few words that describe British director Neil Marshall's Sophomore effort. A group of adventure-loving gals gather a year after a tragedy to continue their annual rite, this time caving in West Virginia. A cave-in leaves them trapped in an unexplored system where they soon find out that they are not alone. Grim, gory and tension-filled, The Descent should be seen in its original version, rather than the U.S. theatrical cut.

4: The Others (2001)

Taking a cue from classics like the original version of The Haunting and The Innocents, Spanish writer/director Alejandro Amenabar creates an atmospheric and creepy ghost tale about a war-widow (Nicole Kidman in an exceptional performance) and her photosensitive children. I may have figured out the movie's twist long before the reveal, but the reveal itself was so well done that I forgave its transparency. Creepy and unnerving without a single drop of blood or CGI demon, The Others is the kind of horror movie directors should aspire to make. 

3: Trick 'r Treat (2007)

Michael Dougherty's massively entertaining  anthology interweaves four stories that take place during a Midwestern town's Halloween celebration. Urban legends; werewolves; vampires; serial killers and a particularly nasty little fellow called Peeping Tommy all add up to one of a fun movie. The movie garnered festival raves, but never saw a theatrical release, making many genre fans (myself included) rabid to see it. When it finally came out on DVD in 2008, we weren't disappointed in the least. Word is, Dougherty is peparing a sequel, which will actually in theaters. I, for one, can't wait.

2: Let the Right One In (2008)

The Swedish adaptation of John Alvide Lyndqvist's novel about a vampire in sheep's clothing is both stylish and atmospheric. Like Matt Reeve's American take (Number 2 on my Best of 2010), it's a quiet film that lets the evil ooze through its cracks, while creating sympathetic characters with whom we can relate. A stunner.

1: Drag Me to Hell (2009)

I'll admit I may be prejudiced by the circumstances under which I first saw this film (shared with a group of people whom I love dearly and who all had such a good time together that night), but Sam Raimi's return to the genre that made him the director he is today is an outrageous, disgusting, hilarious and relentless rollercoaster of a movie that holds up (and actually gets better) after multiple viewings. Gorgeous Allison Loman and adorable Justin Long are the young couple beset by forces beyond their control and character actress Lorna Raver is the disgusting hag who sets things in motion. Raimi pulls out all the stops and delivers what is certainly the most entertaining horror movie of the decade. 

Honorable Mentions:

Grace; 30 Days of Night; Let Me In; 28 Days Later; Shaun of the Dead; May; Cabin Fever; Planet Terror; Dawn of the Dead (2004); High Tension.

*Which still holds the title for Best Line in a Horror Movie with: "Your mother ate my dog!"

So, what do you think? Give me your picks in a comment. I always love hearing from you!

More, anon.

Prospero

You have read this article 2010 / Horror / Movies / The Best Of / Trailers with the title 2010. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2011/01/best-of-decade-horror-movies.html. Thanks!

Seriously?

Okay - in all honesty, I'm not sure which makes me sadder; the fact that these movies exist and are scheduled for release in 2010, or the fact that there are people who will actually spend money to see them.

I'll be honest - I am not exactly a connoisseur of fine film (though I always prefer good movies to bad - with a few exceptions). Hell, I love some really terrible films (Flash Gordon, anyone?). I'll even go out of my way to see a really bad movie, as long at it makes me laugh. And I even own one or two (see my review of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter). But some movies are so bad, they aren't funny in the least, even when they're trying to be (Snow Dogs; Norbit; Pluto Nash; Meet Dave; Daddy Day Camp - sorry Cuba and Eddie, but you're both in so many bad comedies... ).

Here are some upcoming movies that are so obviously bad, their stench wafts from from the trailers, alone (some language and images may be NSFW):

Hot Tub Time Machine:

John Cusak, you were in Say Anything and Being John Malkovich. Of course, you were also in Igor and 2012, so what does that say about your career of late?

Furry Vengeance:

Okay, so Brendan Fraser doesn't have the greatest track record when it comes to good movies, but he was in Gods and Monsters and the relatively enjoyable The Mummy. Still...

Cop Out:

Originally called A Couple of Dicks, Cop Out is director Kevin Smith's first time directing someone else's script. And while I love Kevin Smith's Dogma, I simply don't find Tracy Morgan to be funny, ever.

Repo Men:

Didn't Darren Lynn Bousman already make a musical version of this story? Shame on Liev Schreiber, Jude Law and Forest Whitaker for taking part in this shameless rip-off of an already bad movie.

And that's just a few of the movies that already stink from the future... I haven't talked about The Last Airbender (which will hopefully be M. Night Shama-Lama-Ding-Dong's last movie, ever), Resident Evil 4; Tekken or (God help us) Saw VII. Hopefully, 2010 will provide enough good movies to cancel out these cinematic turds.

See you at the cinema, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article 2010 / Bad / Movies / Previews / Trailers with the title 2010. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2010/01/seriously.html. Thanks!

New Year, New Layout

So here I am, taking part in The Eden Foundation's annual fundraiser "Eden Dreams" in January of 2008. The Eden Foundation provides education, support and much more to persons with Autism.

The mask is actually my own, given to me as a Christmas gift a few years ago by K, who brought it back from Italy for me. I was playing an Italian Duke in that year's Renaissance-themed event. Basically, this is a close-up version of my profile pic (I'm happy to report that since that photo was taken, I've lost about 35 pounds).

I'm not participating in this year's Eden event... I've done the last ten or so, and while it is a very worthwhile cause, it's an exhausting evening of wandering the lobby, bar and ballroom of a huge hotel in Princeton while staying in character for about 6 hours. It's usually hot and uncomfortable (like the year when the theme was Native American and I wore about 30 lbs of real buckskin) and your feet are done for by hour 4. Instead, I'm making a donation this year. My feet will thank me, if no one else does. And I'll be volunteering to help out with makeup and costumes, staying in the hospitality suite for the night; rather than being ignored, pulled at, made fun of and abused by the often drunken guests who pay upwards of $350 a plate, just so they can feel better about about themselves while flaunting their wealth. I just realized how bitter and bitchy that sounds, but it's true.

Anyway, the real point of this post is for me to show off Caliban's Revenge's new layout. No longer will HD videos impinge upon my lists, links and archived posts. As a certain Home Diva would say, "It's a good thing." Little else will change. I'll still be the slightly snarky, Horror Movie-obsessed whacko you have come to know and (hopefully) love.

Once again, I wish you all a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year. I'll be back Sunday with my review of Sherlock Holmes, which I am finally seeing with my dear D. Until then, read me tomorrow at The Zombie Zone.

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article 2010 / Eden Dreams / Prospero / Ramblings with the title 2010. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-year-new-layout.html. Thanks!

Review: "Nine"

You may wonder why I am posting so late (or early, depending on point of view). To make a long story short, Uncle Prospero was the designated driver tonight. Uncle P also slipped in the snow Thursday morning and twisted his back, so he's in pain. I got home and decided I needed a drink and here I am...

Anyway, it may be Friday to you, but I haven't been to bed yet, so it's still Thursday to me. And this afternoon I got together with a certain adorable Go-Go Elf named Matty and we saw Rob Marshall's Nine.

Movie musicals are tough. They have to be extraordinary to succeed with today's audiences. Moulin Rouge, Hairspray and Chicago are all rather extraordinary in one way or another. I am sad to report that Nine is rather less than so.

Based on the Broadway musical, itself based on Fellini's 8 1/2, Nine tells the story of director Guido Contini (Daniel Day Lewis). Suffering a mid-life crisis which is preventing him from coming up with a script for the film he is supposed to start shooting in 10 days, Guido takes off to a spa and reflects on the women in his life. Wife Luisa (Marion Cotillard); mistress Carla (Penelope Cruz); costumer and friend Lilli (Judi Dench); leading lady Claudia (Nicole Kidman); childhood prostitute Saraghina (Fergie); 'Vogue' reporter Stephanie (Kate Hudson) and Mamma (Sophia Loren). Sadly, Marshall wastes the talents of nearly every single one of them.

Oddly, for a show about film making, Nine doesn't really work when taken outside of a theatre. Of course, it doesn't help that they removed almost half the numbers from the show (including the title song) and multiplied the angst to the point of boredom. Lewis does an OK job, though I would have rather seen Antonio Banderas reprise his role from the 2003 B'way revival. Cruz (in a multi-colored fright wig and some ridiculous costumes), comes off even creepier than usual (I wasn't sure that was possible), especially in the scene where Guido does her make-up for a sex game where they are supposed to pretend to be strangers. Loren, another victim of too much cosmetic surgery, fares only slightly better. I thought they would have cut her number over others, but then remembered her turn as Aldonza in Man of LaMancha. Hudson, looking more like her mother than ever, has the most annoying number, 'Cinema Italiano,' written especially for the movie in order to garner a Best Song nom, and thankfully Fergie isn't asked to act, only sing in the film's best number 'Be Italian.' Dench croaks her way through 'Follies Bergere' and Kidman's version of 'Unusual Way' was surprisingly flat more than once. Fairing better (musically, anyway) is Cruz in her phone-sex number 'A Call from the Vatican.' The movie's best performance belongs to Cotillard, who's version of 'My Husband Makes Movies' is almost heart-breaking. Her acting is also the best in the movie.

Among Nine's worst problems is its plodding script, surprisingly written in part by the late Anthony Minghella (The English Patient). And Marshall's heavy-handed direction doesn't help. As in Chicago, Marshall stages the musical numbers as fantasy sequences, mostly taking place in Guido's head. Unlike Chicago, this approach does nothing to advance the plot, but merely serves as a comment on it. And the dance numbers are so heavily edited that one can hardly appreciate the actual dancing. Switching back and forth between color and black & white, Marshall's attempts at showing us what Guido is thinking only serve to confuse and often bore the audience. If I wore a watch (I tend to kill them - but that's a story for another time), I would have checked my wrist several times in an attempt to figure how much more I had to endure of this mess. As with Marshall's adaptation of Memoirs of a Geisha, the film was more about flash and glamor, rather than substance and story-telling. I wish I knew who actually said this, but it passed on to me anecdotally, but I have to agree with the critic who said that 'not since The Towering Inferno have so many big names taken part in such a disaster.' (If you know who said it, please tell me so I can credit him or her).

** 1/2 (Two and a Half out of Four Stars), and only because of Marion Cotillard's truly terrific performance. I can't wait to see what the exceptionally talented French actress has to show us next.

And just a reminder, while there may (or may not) be another post for January 1st, there wil lbe no Caliban's Revenge post on Saturday. Read me instead at The Zombie Zone. And when C's R returns on Sunday, it will have a whole new look for the New Year!

Here's wishing everyone the Happiest of New Years! My wish for all of you is that you find your hearts' desires in 2010!

More, anon.
Prospero

You have read this article 2010 / Holiday Wishes / Movies / Musicals / Reviews / Trailers with the title 2010. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2009/12/review.html. Thanks!

The Next Three Months

2009 may have only one day left, but there are plenty of movies to look forward to in 2010, including Alice in Wonderland; Iron Man 2; Prince of Persia; Toy Story 3; Despicable Me; Tron Legacy and The Green Hornet. Of course there plenty of awful-looking films coming our way, as well: Tooth Fairy; The Last Airbender; Furry Vengeance and quite possibly the most unnecessary remake ever, Red Dawn.

This post, however, is about the movies I most want to see in the first quarter of the coming New Year. And of course, since this is Uncle Prospero''s list of movies to see, they're all genre pictures. In order of scheduled* release, they are:

Daybreakers:

In the near future, vampires have taken over the world and driven their food source to near-extinction and the race is on to discover an artificial blood substitute. Sam Neill, Willem Dafoe and the reportedly smelly Ethan Hawke star.

The Book of Eli:

Denzel Washington stars in this post-apocalyptic tale about a man who must traverse a hostile country to deliver a book that very may well save humanity. Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis and Jennifer Beals co-star in this Hughes Brothers film.

Legion:

Keeping the Covenant of the Rainbow, God sends an army of angels to wipe out Humanity. Paul Bettany is the Archangel Michael who decides Humanity is worth saving. Bettany is joined by Dennis Quaid, Kevin Durand, Kate Walsh and Doug Jones in the first major film directed by SFX guy Scott Stewart (trailer language may be NSFW).

Poor Jon Tenny. The sexy "Closer" (the best drama on TV, for my money) co-star barely gets three words out before getting his throat ripped out.

Dread:

Clive Barker's tale about college students conducting an experiment in fear. From Anthony DiBlasi, director of The Midnight Meat Train and The Book of Blood.

The Wolfman:

The much-delayed next entry in the series of Universal Monsters re-boot, The Wolf Man features an all-star cast which includes Benicio Del Toro; Emily Blunt; Anthony Hopkins; Hugo Weaving and Geraldine Chaplin in a re-telling of the classic tale, directed by Joe Johnston.

Shutter Island:

My least favorite actor (Leonardo DiCaprio) stars in Martin Scorcese's horror movie about a mysterious insane asylum on an isolated island and the horrible things taking place there. Based on the novel by Dennis Lehane ("Mystic River;" "Gone Baby, Gone."), this film's cast is a who's who of Hollywood heavyweights including Mark Ruffalo; Ben Kingsley; Emily Mortimer; Max Von Sydow; Patricia Clarkson and Jackie Earle Hailey. I think I'll put up with creepy DiCaprio for his one.

The Crazies:

A remake of the George Romero film about a small town under siege by folks driven insane by an accidental chemical spill. Yummy Timothy Oliphant and Silent Hill's Radha Mitchell star.

Season of the Witch:

Okay, I'm the first to admit that Nicholas Cage often spells disaster for a genre film, but this one really has me intrigued. Ron Perlman and Christopher Lee co-star in this story of medieval knights who must escort an evil witch to a remote Abby in order to destroy her.

Clash of the Titans:

Ray Harryhausen is a cinematic legend, whose last film may as well have been called "Clash of the Trite Ones." Sam Worthington (most recently seen in Avatar) is Perseus in this remake that might actually do the Greek hero justice. Thankfully, there's no robotic owl in this one (or at least, I think there isn't).

Whew! I'm exhausted. So what movies are you looking forward to seeing in the next three months? You know I love your comments.

*Studio schedules are subject to change according to the whims of the moronic CPA's who now run Hollywood.

More, anon.
Prospero

PS - Watch for Caliban's Revenge's new layout, coming soon...

You have read this article 2010 / Fantasy / Horror / Movies / Previews / sci-Fi / Trailers with the title 2010. You can bookmark this page URL https://tammycross.blogspot.com/2009/12/the-next-three-months.html. Thanks!